Are Women Who Submit to Their Husbands in Sin?

I’m always late to know everything!  Apparently, it’s been making the rounds on the interwebz that popular and conservative blogger, Sheila Gregorie, has not only recently attacked a Pastor for trying to defend his view of biblical marriage (and calling for him to be fired… and calling for all the women in his congregation to rebel against him), she’s now accused wives who actually submit to their husbands of committing the sin of idolatry!

I used to think Sheila was on the more “conservative” or traditional side of Christianity – but I’d never really read her blog, and I never knew she was a Christian feminist.

Here is where she defends Queen Vashti as being the “hero” of the Esther story, because she stood up for herself and “social justice,” and refused to obey her husband.  It is a very twisted read in order to fit her feminist agenda of Vashti somehow being the “wife in the right,” with Esther being cast as a victim.

“I refuse to be treated like a sex object, because that is not what I am.” She stood up for the dignity of women, something, by the way, that Jesus did, too. In that culture that despised women, she said, “no more!”

Vashti doesn’t have to be bad in order for Esther to be good. Maybe both were standing up to injustice.

A few years ago, after reading what I thought would be a benign Bible study by Beth Moore on Queen Esther, I came across this same sentiment (from Moore) that Vashti really was in the right.  In the study, Moore builds up an elaborate case against King Xerxes in order to discredit him, much like Sheila does.  However, Moore is forced to admit to herself and her readers that Esther’s attitude and heart really were far superior than Vashti’s attitude and actions in winning over the King’s heart.

Sheila believes differently:

“I feel very, very sorry for Esther. I hate movies and books that portray her and Xerxes’ relationship as a love story.

She had to “audition” for a night to be chosen by him, and that’s pretty darn ugly, no matter how you slice it. We need to stop romanticizing it.

She was taken into a harem. It’s basically sex trafficking.

-Sheila Gregorie

Wow, so now Queen Esther was sex-trafficked!  I’ve never seen anyone interpret Esther’s story this far off from what it was meant to be.  It is definitely a type of love story, just as Ruth is another type of love story.  For centuries, women have always found these stories romantic, because they are!

Here is where I talk about how romantic Queen Esther’s love story with King Xerxes is.  From her uniquely tragic upbringing which forged her character and possible demeanor that captivated King Xerxes’, to being raised by a male cousin who gave her insight into men’s hearts, Esther made the King fall very much in love with her – to the point of him repeatedly offering her anything she wanted, including half his kingdom.

After reading Beth Moore’s study, I chose to focus on the good things she wrote about Esther, yet interject my own thoughts (as opposed to Moore’s) on how badly Vashti chose to behave.

From my post 3 years ago:

“Vashti had blatantly and cruelly humiliated him in front of all of Susa, during the finale of his week long party, during a sensitive time of his trying to ramp up political support for his campaign to go to war to conquer Greece (something that seemed like an extremely difficult undertaking).

He, of all men, understood what it meant to have a wife and Queen who would undermine you, publicly humiliate you, and refuse to support you at the time that you needed it most.”  (From Single Women: To Be Captivating is More Than Mere Looks)

Why Do Women Hate What the Bible Says?

Why is this topic such a controversial thing when the Bible says this command several times, I don’t know.  Just in the New Testament alone, I’ve counted four different books with specific verses that explicitly tell wives to submit to their husbands as they would to God Himself. I do know Truth is opposed.  And I know that when you start taking God’s Word seriously for your life, there will be people even in the Christian faith who will undoubtedly attack you for it.

Sheila calling submissive wives “sinful” for obeying and honoring the Word God’s given to us, is very similar to how Elspeth called women who revered Proverbs 31’s passage on the virtuous woman as a beautiful ideal to look up to, “Pharisees.”   It just shows complete lack of reverence for the beauty of God’s Word, and falsely accuses the women who are actually trying to follow it.

In fact, calling them “sinful” like Sheila did, or “Pharisees,” like Elspeth did, is slandering them for following the Word of God, and honoring it as something beautiful and true.  

“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Matthew 5:10-11

When women who find beauty in the Proverbs 31 woman’s example are slandered as “Pharisees,” we should rejoice for being insulted and falsely accused by our fellow Christians.  And when women who submit to their husbands like Sarah did, and yet are accused of living in “sin,” we should be glad because our reward is great in heaven.  My husband and I expect behavior like this – attitudes that Sheila and Elspeth have shown against Christian women who respect and follow God’s Word – will only increase with time.

We best be prepared.

Stephanie

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Feeling Like We Live in a Barn!

This past few weeks have flown by so fast!  So much has happened and it’s felt like a whirlwind.  Between my husband achieving a huge goal he’s set his sights on for a few years ❤ and then going to one of our beloved Lieutenant’s retirement parties *tear*, and going to a Fourth of July wedding, and making a road trip to see family… it’s been a little crazy.

And… we’ve added two new furry members of our family!

On top of that, a few weeks ago a baby dove fell out of it’s nest and onto my husband’s car.  He luckily saw it before work, came back inside to tell me to get it, and we managed to take care of it for a few weeks until it could fly.  We’ve had over TWENTY animals come through our house, obviously almost 100% we’ve rehabilitated and found homes for… but this time I wondered “how do they find us?!?!”

My husband loves to tease me that I’m like some disney character who calls to the animals and they all come to her!  I swear I’m not doing this!!!!

It was so sweet hand-feeding a baby bird, having it practice flying to all of our heads 😀 and watching it grow up so much!  The boys named him “Walle,” from the robot movie LOL, and wow did he ever have a big, funny personality.

This past week we gave it to a Wildlife Rescue Center in our city where they introduced it to other birds and allowed it to fly in an aviary until it was able to be re-released.  White winged doves usually find a mate and stick with them for life, so hopefully our little Walle finds his lifetime partner. ❤

First picture above was when we first found him, he was mostly all pin-feathers!  He was SO tiny, and seemed very fragile.  Second picture is when he’s a little older and more fluffed out.

He loved to be close and cuddle with us!  Everything I read about these birds when we were figuring out how to care for him said that they belong in the wild and not with people, but he seemed to love living the life of domestication!  Honestly, it was so much fun taking care of him.  He was sweet, bossy, funny, and affectionate 🙂 just a very cute baby dove.

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The wedding we went to was very intimate and beautiful, we felt honored to be invited.  They are both on the more introverted side, and this sweet wedding was probably the most romantic wedding I’ve ever been to.

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Then we went on a short road trip to visit family and let the boys do fireworks at night.  I never thought I’d be one of those women who carry little dogs in their purse, but this was SO much fun lol!!

I carried them around in this over-sized purse as much as I could to get them used to it, and they really seemed to like it as they were able to be close and go everywhere I went.  It was so cute, too, definitely had to get some pictures!!!

They’re cute, even if they’re blurry lol!

It was a fun trip, and the boys got to do fireworks for the first time.

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It was so exciting!!!  I loved watching their dad and Grandpa teach them how to do this.

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The sparklers were the easiest.  Our toddler did try to grab the hot end after it went out, but Grandpa managed to catch his hand before the little one grabbed it.  He did barely swipe it though and had a little pain on one tip of his finger (thank God!), but no burn or anything serious.

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It was some serious fire-power though!

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The big ones were legit scary for me!!  My husband handled those by himself and they were amazing!

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My husband shooting one of the Roman Candles (I think?) into the sky.

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It’s been a fun few weeks!  We’ve had lots of things going on, lots of animals in and out it seems… kind of feeling like we live in a barn 🙂  And that’s ok.

Stephanie

Do Men Sometimes Submit to their Wives like God Told Abraham to?

Frequent commenter, Richard P, has given a lot of strange biblical interpretations over the past few months at a site made for women who are trying to learn truth.  From claiming that menopausal women can’t control themselves due to their hormones (which leads them to divorce), to claiming older women shouldn’t be teaching younger women Scripture (going directly against Titus 2), to now finally claiming that sometimes husbands should submit to their wives… like Abraham did.

Here’s his actual quote, “Sometimes the guy submits. Like Abraham, when God told him to do what Sarah said.

It’s hard for me to see something like this and not try to at least point out how it’s being taken out of context.  At a casual glance, Richard P is right in a way, God did tell Abraham to listen to his wife and to do whatever she tells him to.  But it was only in a very specific moment when God knew Sarah’s advice lined up with His plan and that it would still prevail, and certainly not applicable to the topic of biblical submission when applied to the span of their marriage.  There were a few times where Sarah told Abraham to do something wrong that ended up in sin and complicating God’s plan.

RP is using a very specific example from Scripture when Abraham was incredibly emotional and distraught about needing to send Ishmael and his mother, Hagar, away because together they had each 1) disrespected and mistreated Sarah and 2) were caught mocking Isaac at a celebration for him, the son God promised His blessings would come through.  I’ve heard many pastors claim they were probably sent away for Isaac’s own safety and preservation, as they both had already shown treacherous attitudes toward Sarah and Isaac at different points in time.  It may have been like a “last straw,” moment for Sarah as Isaac’s mother, having to watch their malicious attitude and actions toward him.

Here is Matthew Henry’s Commentary on that verse for more insight:

“Ishmael’s conduct was persecution, being done in profane contempt of the covenant and promise, and with malice against Isaac. God takes notice of what children say and do in their play; and will reckon with them, if they say or do amiss, though their parents do not.

Mocking is a great sin, and very provoking to God. And the children of promise must expect to be mocked. Abraham was grieved that Ishmael should misbehave, and Sarah demand so severe a punishment.

But God showed him that Isaac must be the father of the promised Seed; therefore, send Ishmael away, lest he corrupt the manners, or try to take the rights of Isaac.

The covenant seed of Abraham must be a people by themselves, not mingled with those who were out of covenant: Sarah little thought of this; but God turned aright what she said.”

In any case, God reminded Abraham of the plan of the covenant coming through Isaac, and assured Abraham that it would be “ok,” to send them away, and also that He would take care of them.  Richard P, however, applies this one very peculiar example to all men in any amount of circumstances, saying matter of fact that, well, “sometimes the guy submits.”

Richard P then argued with me for calling it out as blaspheme, which in this case would be adding to God’s Word by saying God told Abraham to submit to Sarah –

@Stephanie: The verse gets kind of lost in the multiple verses that Larry G posted, so here it is by itself. And it is this verse to which I was referring.

“Whatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” Genesis 21:12 (English Standard Version)

Your response to me is why I throw this verse out there every once in a while. Folks know that Sarah called Abraham “Lord” – and use that as part of their submission meme. Unfortunately, your response to me is not all that uncommon. Many folks only know those parts of the Bible that support their meme – and either don’t know, or ignore, the other parts that might suggest that things are a bit more complicated than their favored meme might suggest.

And, for that reason, I find it useful to ask from time to time: What did God actually say? It is troubling how many people are taught their favorite meme’s and then go to the Bible to find those verses that support what they’ve been taught. The reality is that it should be the opposite. The Bible admonishes believers to take in the whole counsel of God – and then from that whole counsel can meme’s be derived. Unfortunately – too often the memes are derived first, and then supported by part of the counsel of God, but not the whole counsel of God.

I don’t want to hijack this thread, so I will stop after making this one more comment.

Another issue that exists alongside what I’ve discussed in the previous paragraphs is the meme that women are not to teach men. That is spoken in support of a favorite meme – but only by folks who have no idea of how learning actually takes place. Women teach men all of the time – because men watch what women do and say and learn from it all the time (yeah, the bad parts discussed in the manosphere – but also the good parts and the neutral parts). That is how learning occurs – for boys and girls and men and women. We all watch each other and listen to each other and learn. To say nothing of the fact that part of her being to him the help that God made her to be is teaching him things that she knows and he doesn’t. So – when Paul said he didn’t permit … the meaning is much more targeted and precise than is generally presented by those who think women shouldn’t teach men.

(Emphasis mine)

I pointed out to him that I was actually taking into account the other verses from all over the Bible – from the Old to the New Testament – that have to do with direct commands or examples of wives submitting to their husbands (or rebelling and suffering the consequences), and that his verse (in light of the rest of the Bible) was still clearly taken out of context (and does not even include the word “submit” like he was claiming).

In fact, the biblical verses on wives submitting to their husbands are recorded as commands several times in the New Testament in regard to how we are supposed to be living today.

Let’s look at where it says this command in the New Testament, specifically – 

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18

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“(older women should teach younger women) to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”  Titus 2:5

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“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”1Peter 3:1-6

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“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”  Ephesians 5:22

I’m not even including the myriad of examples where, through the context of the story or the biblical passage, it is clear that wives submitting to their husbands’ leadership brings about what God desired and intended for marriage.  Even the way the Proverb’s 31 woman’s relationship with her husband is shown – how his heart safely trusts in her, and that because of her, he will have no lack of gain, and how it says she will bring him good and not harm, all the days of her life – we can be sure he is the confident leader in his home, and doesn’t feel emasculated by his wife’s desire to control him or rebel against his leadership.

It’s ironic that what Richard P was accusing me of doing – using “one verse” to support my “meme” of submission (which I never did), was actually what he was doing using his literal quoting of only one verse (Genesis 21:12) and applying it to husbands in general (while ignoring all the other verses and examples in the Bible that prove otherwise God’s design for marriage).  Perhaps it was projection?  I’ll let the reader decide.

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This topic of submission has been a “hot controversial topic” for close to 200 years now.  It’s never been really popular to use the good examples from Scripture, and try to apply them to our modern day lives – in fact, it’s usually opposed.  And women (and I suppose some men like RP, like to find “loopholes”).

When I wrote on the subject of the Proverbs 31 woman, I saw how even Christian women tried to say I was being a Pharisee for pointing out how beautiful verse (15) is when it says she rises early to provide food for her family and servants!  Isn’t it amazing how even Christian women regularly rebel against the simplest of biblical points – like the Proverbs 31 woman waking up early to make breakfast!  And this was Elspeth we’re talking about, not someone openly in rebellion like Joyce Meyers.  Covert rebellion or snide mocking and attacking fellow believers as “Pharisees” for simply writing out the verses of Proverbs 31 as the ideal a woman should try to eventually attain, is just as bad as Joyce Meyers being a female Pastor, because it’s still promotes an ugly attitude of rebellion against God’s Word and toward Christian women who truly are trying to honor and follow it.

 

I’m curious to see what other people think about how Richard applied this one verse in general to men submitting to their wives? Keep in mind that Richard P stuck the word “submit,” in there, when it isn’t actually in the verse itself.  Is this representative of the other verses in the Bible regarding marriage, or is it something that only happened at a certain point in time and under circumstances where God decided His plan would prevail?

 

Marriage is an Opportunity for Comfort & Peace

The Brooklyn Duo is an awesome married couple who create heartfelt music with their piano and cello.  They apparently arrange and perform all of their duets in this fashion, in order to allow viewers to see them “live.”  I can’t seem to get enough of them!

This song above is actually from a children’s movie where the male love interest is trying to comfort the usually bubbly and happy-go-lucky female character, who finally became depressed after the hardships they went through.  He hates singing, and has his own issues with loss and depression (causing him to hate being around others and lose his “light”), but when he sees her finally affected, it moves him to sing.  Totally out of character for him, he sings to her to make her feel happiness again – just so sweet!

Here are the lyrics –

You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then
Don’t be unhappy, can’t remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there
And I’ll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
If this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there
And I’ll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
True colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
Songwriters: Billy Steinberg / Tom Kelly
True Colors lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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We’ve had moments like this in our marriage where the trials we were going through started to really bring me down.  I’m usually optimistic and don’t have a hard time feeling happy from day to day, but in times of great loss or sadness or even depression, it’s been so nice and romantic to be able to lean on my man for comfort, and have him react in this way.

In those times where he’s comforted me after heartache, I think to myself that this is why God created marriage.  So that men and women could find someone who could love and comfort them, and build something beautiful together – despite how hard life can be.

Marriage should be a place of peace and comfort, granted it can’t always feel that way.  But when two people work together, and genuinely care about how the other is feeling, the beauty of it helps me understand why God said,

“It is not good for man to be alone.”

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My husband has a tattoo of the three strand cord mentioned in Ecclesiastes 4:12, representing our marriage composed of God, him, and me.  The context of that verse is talking about how beneficial it is to have a partner in life –

Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor;  for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up.  

Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Amplified Bible

Anyway, just wanted to share this couple’s work.

And here is a sweet one they did with for their newborn last year!!  Oh my gosh!!!!!!

Hope you enjoy their music!

Has anyone had any times where they felt like their partner comforted them or encouraged them?  It could be the husband OR the wife – I’d love to hear other people’s stories.

Stephanie

Adventure into Beauty

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We went on an adventure yesterday… and found a beautiful place to fall in love with.  The beauty and serenity of this place was breathtaking.

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We’re big nature lovers.  Even when we were just dating 12 years ago, my husband and I loved going for hikes and seeking out new outdoorsey adventures to embark on together.

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And now these little ones get to do that!  I have to add… this wagon is a GREAT investment for little ones who can’t walk yet or just get tired and need to sit awhile.  We’ve been having so much fun taking it everywhere.

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It’s like a little baby bus or something… just too cute!

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More baby bus… 😀

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She knows she’s emptying out that bottle upside down!!! LOL

We got to see lots of wildlife yesterday.

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We even got our ducks in a row.

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1… 2… 3…   ❤

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But again, it was just so breathtakingly beautiful.

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I think I’m going to have some of these photographs blown up and printed out for our oldest’s room.  He really loved taking it all in.

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A family of ducks learning to fish.

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So serene.

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We packed our lunches and snacks so we were actually able to picnic there.

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Well… this one picnic’d right inside her baby bus!  LOL

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Pretty little lady. ❤

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Overall it was a great adventure.

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I’m sure we’ll be back again.

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Stephanie

Feminism’s Hatred of Stay at Home Moms

Sometimes I’ve had friends or even family members ask me why I identify with anti-feminism.  To them being an anti-feminist is to be anti-women!  It’s sad to me that probably most women in our society, don’t really understand the perspective of the women’s rights activists, nor have they read anything they wrote or spoke about.

If I didn’t know better myself, I would think modern day feminism was about freedom and living life to it’s fullest… but unfortunately it’s not.  There’s a sinister undercurrent that we can feel today when we’re watching our religious liberties be challenged as “harmful” for society, that stems directly from the same feminist attitude toward Christianity and traditional women.

A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the [housewife’s] labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. [W]oman’s work within the home [is] not directly useful to society, produces nothing. [The housewife] is subordinate, secondary, parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” ~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949.

I think it’s important to understand these feminist women.  The ones I use quotes from are the very ones who championed the feminist cause around and after the 1950’s era.  They were famous, and lauded as heroic for saying these things.  These writers and speakers, and pushers of political agenda, not only “disliked” young women being able to choose to stay home with their children or be a housewife, they downright hated them for making that choice.  They hated the idea that women could depend upon their husbands to support them and in turn, make his and his children’s lives easier by creating a loving home atmosphere.

The Bible actually commands Christian women to be “keepers of the home,” so it’s important to understand how anti-Christianity these women’s views and goals were.  Their goal was to have a society where Christian women were not allowed to stay home and raise godly children.  It is the same beginning goals the Communists have always had in places where they took over – in Russia, China, North Korea, Cuba, and Vietnam just to name a few.  Feminism, at it’s core, was championed by women who had a communist-like agenda against religious and personal freedom.

It’s important to understand that this was one of feminism’s main goals.  It wasn’t to allow women “more choice” in order to choose between work or staying at home to raise godly children, but to not have that choice at all.

No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.” – “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Simone de Beauvoir Saturday Review, June 14, 1975.

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“No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children.”  – Simone de Beauvoir

Can you imagine a country where women were not allowed – by law even – to make that choice to stay at home to raise their young children?

It’s a lie to claim that feminism was somehow in the best interest for women having rights to more freedom – or to say that the feminists were trying to “free” women from the oppression of their husbands.

No.  These prominent and even famous feminists of the 60’s and 70’s knew exactly what they were doing and saying (making it harder for women to even be able to stay home and raise children – making sure financially, that option was almost gone).  It’s sad that so many women my age and in generation X don’t know, because they haven’t read, these women’s writings and books from back then.  But hopefully in reading these quotes the reader can feel the depth of hatred the women of the feminist movement had for traditional wives and mothers.

It was not about them winning some battle to free women from “the Patriarchy.”  It was about them working to deceiving an entire society at the cultural level, so that any woman who wanted to stay home with her children felt like she should be working, or doing anything else, because staying at home, raising children into wonderful adults, was displayed as having no lasting value for our modern society.

[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” ~ Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.

Betty Friedan even compares women who choose to stay at home to detainees in concentration camps.  Well, at least we know SJWs were comparing situations to Hitler and his camps even back then!  But seriously, really re-read her quote above here.  “The conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but the conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.”  

So the millions of people in the concentration camps in WWII were not destroyed by the inhumane torture and mistreatment (or death itself), but instead it was the same conditions as housewives have?  It’s notable that many MANY women disagreed with these feminists leaders back in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s… and they were the anti-feminist women, who still held that staying at home was valuable not only for them, but definitely for their children.

[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” ~ Gloria Steinem, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970

Yes, they loved calling us “parasites.”  I guess they never moved past middle school 🙂

“Feminism was profoundly opposed to traditional conceptions of how families should be organized, [since] the very existence of full-time homemakers was incompatible with the women’s movement…. [I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” ~ Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” ~ Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.

So… this is (in part) why I’m against feminism.  I wish more women my age and younger would wake up and read a book, or take interest into what the goals of this movement was (and still very much is) for our culture in the US and our society.

Ultimately, I’ve found from feminist literature that our Christian liberties were at the core of what feminists despised so much.  It was never about freeing women to have more choice.  It was only about limiting their ability to choose to be free-thinking people.  To be women who chose to follow God and raise their children in a godly way and in godly households where husbands still guided and protected their families.

These feminists women hated the Christian family, and did everything they could to destroy it.

Stephanie

 

All these quotes came from Stingray’s collection of feminists’ quotes on housewives

Jordan Peterson Urges Christians to Wake Up! Take More Political Action for Religious Freedom

First watch this short clip to get to the gist of it –

There are longer videos including more of the discussion here, and a complete interview (40 minutes long) here.

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Trinity Western University under attack for it’s Christian Creed

Apparently, this interview with Peterson was on the heels of the Canadian Supreme Court ruling last week that a Christian law school can be denied accreditation due to it’s Christian stance on homosexuality and biblical marriage.

The ruling was reportedly 7-2 by their Supreme Court, not even a “close call” for retaining religious freedom.  If this is happening in Canada, I wonder how close we in the US are?

From here –

Jordan Peterson, the Canadian psychologist, author, and free-speech advocate, has warned Canadian Christians that they must make a “great leap forward” because religious freedom in the country is set to get “a lot worse.”

Speaking online with Canadian author and activist Faytene Grassechi in a video posted on YouTube Wednesday, Peterson told Christians they must stand up for themselves, “because your religious rights are very low on the rights totem pole at the moment.”

He added that it’s “going to get worse, a lot worse, before it gets better. So if you think your religious freedom is worth having, you better be ready to defend it, and you better be ready to do that in an articulated way, because you’re not a priority.”

Peterson made his comments in light of the Canadian Supreme Court ruling last week that decided an evangelical Christian law school can be denied accreditation, due to its opposition to homosexuality and biblical position on marriage.  [Emphasis mine]

From a different article here

As part of its Christian identity, TWU has a “community covenant” for its students and faculty that, among other obligations, states that community members will “voluntarily abstain” from “sexual intimacy that violates the sacredness of marriage between a man and a woman.”

“The university’s mission, core values, curriculum and community life are formed by a firm commitment to the person and work of Jesus Christ as declared in the Bible,” read the covenant.

“The community covenant is a solemn pledge in which members place themselves under obligations on the part of the institution to its members, the members to the institution, and the members to one another.”

Other actions that the covenant calls for is for its community to abstain from include “gossip, slander, vulgar/obscene language,” … “stealing, misusing or destroying property belonging to others,” … “drunkenness, underage consumption of alcohol, and the use or possession of illegal drugs.”

It’s been really interesting to me to see various people denounce Peterson as being a non Christian, supposedly even a shill for the leftist agenda working against us.

Clearly, Dr. Peterson is more awake than many evangelicals who attend church each Sunday.  And here he is, giving Canadian Christians (and us indirectly) a dire warning that we need to wake up, get off our butts, and do something to defend our Christian faith.

I’m wondering what any readers think about this?  What do you think about him saying Canadian Christians need make a “great leap forward?”

What do you imagine he’s implying here?

 

Linked Article – Jordan Peters Warns Canadian Christians Their Religious Freedom Rights are Eroding

Linked Article – Canada Supreme Court Says Chrisitan Law School Can Be Denied Accreditation Opposing Homosexuality

Stephanie

Look Who Just Turned 1 Year Old!!!

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This past weekend was definitely a crazy one.  With Father’s Day and celebrating our little one’s first birthday, there was just A LOT to be happy and joyful about!!!  ❤

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I went to our local grocery bakery and found her the perfect little cake.  It was white cake with fresh strawberry creamed icing (soooo delicious since it was naturally flavored!).

My mom did the honor of creating this little spread for photographing it.

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She really upped the elegance with her table settings ❤

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Le sigh… will they let me eat it? ❤

And in other news… Baby Girl is pulling up and starting to walk a little when assisted!

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That concentrating face though 😀 ❤  Aww sweet little one!!!

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We also had the incredible opportunity to dedicate our daughter to God on Father’s Day (how cool is that?!?!)!

Ugh just so much love here!

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My husband took these pics before church started Sunday… it was a sweet, tender moment

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There were more than a few tears shed this past Sunday when I heard our pastor praying over my husband and blessing him as the good, godly father he is.

I know I’ve posted before how we’ve dedicated each of our children to the Lord, but this one happening to fall on Father’s Day was just extra sweet and special.  Again… I had tears!

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Can’t resist ONE more picture of this delicious cake!!

Hope your weekend was just as beautiful and splendid!

We’re over the moon with love ❤

Stephanie

Why Can’t I Help My Husband Lead Us “Better?”

I recently wrote a post addressing the question of what to do when a wife wants more kids but her husband doesn’t.  Apparently, it’s a common thing for Christian women to look at their husbands’ faith or ability to trust in God, and decide it needs some work and that they’re the ones to “help him out here.”

I got an email after writing that post from a woman who disagreed with some of my answers, and agreed wholeheartedly with the other blogger’s advice, saying she reads her blog frequently.  I do like The Thinking Housewife’s blog 🙂 , it is possible for someone to give out very bad advice and yet still be a good person or have other good writings I think.  Her blog is a lot like mine in many ways in that we share many of the same stances against feminism.  One post she’s written recently, called Traditional Housewife – The New Hitler, is especially a great read about how the Leftists and feminists (but I repeat myself) view housewives.  It even focuses on our internet presence, which is very interesting.  But this reader’s issue with my post is she thought it’s right and even godly for a wife to point out her husband’s spiritual flaws, or to try to make him realize when he should be having more trust or faith in God.

I will admit that this topic can get very murky because in some respect a wife does have that privilege in her husband’s heart, to gently and humbly point out if she sees something is wrong or could be harmful in the future.  However, that is not the advice The Thinking Housewife gave out to women in that position.  The main point of her post (and the counterpoint of mine) was actually trying to get a husband to follow the wife’s lead for their marriage.  And in trying to get him on board with her decisions to lead them, The Thinking Housewife used a variety of unhealthy tactics.

Let’s look at what she suggested again:

If your husband is worried about money, that’s understandable but he should ask God for help and for the grace to handle whatever occurs. Why does he have so little confidence and trust? Insist with him that it is wrong for you to use contraception.

Continue to talk to your husband and don’t give up.

Let him know that your marital happiness is gravely threatened.  (from here)

Aside from the fact that she’s promoting using threats to get the husband to follow his wife’s convictions, this approach of “insisting with him,” and continuing to talk with him without giving up, are not productive with men.

When it comes to using the threat of a wife’s happiness (which is not the point of marriage at all, even if it is a wonderful byproduct), making it seem like she will be forever miserable if he doesn’t follow suit – and then her misery will of course affect everyone in the entire family, is not psychologically healthy for a woman.  If a mother decides that she’s not getting her way, so she’s going to be miserable (their marital happiness will be “gravely threatened”), then she’s basically trying to control her husband (Eve’s curse), and not seeking to live peacefully and by faith and trust in God.

It’s important that we realize that all of this advice is coming from a position of self-righteousness or a feeling of superiority in the heart of the wife toward her husband.  I’ve noticed that this is something Catholic women tend to have toward their husbands (and also toward non-Catholics), because their church has decided authority on issues like these, and therefore doesn’t allow husbands to make their own decisions regarding how many children he wants to have. **Instead of debating this point in the comments, we should probably just focus on how Catholic people can encourage their wives to submit to, and obey, their husbands like commanded in the Bible, while still following all the rules and restrictions of their faith.**

It’s also the most ironic thing to me, that while The Thinking Housewife is encouraging Christian women to view their husbands as not having enough faith in God, she’s actually endorsing these women’s own lack of faith in their husband’s decisions, promoting psychologically unhealthy manipulation tactics (using threats of her being miserable and affecting their family negatively!), and consequentially, encouraging a Christian woman’s lack of faith in her husband’s leadership – which is (especially if he’s Christian) ordained by God.

For the Catholic women out there, let’s look again at what God says about this in the Bible:

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-23

It’s important for Catholic women or any woman in this position, to truly understand how much faith this takes for wives to submit to their husbands “in everything.”

I really do believe it’s crucial to start teaching Christian women that instead of always looking for where our husbands may be “wrong” on something – or doubting his intentions in his leadership of our family, or his faith, etc., that instead, she needs to learn to have faith in him, and to trust him enough to follow his imperfect leadership.  In doing this, it’s a beautiful chance to reveal how much faith she has in God herself.

See what I did there?  Instead of putting all the blame on the husband in cases like this – or worse, trying to make him feel like he’s a bad Christian and doesn’t have enough faith – instead of choosing that route (which is a very negative and unproductive route) she can instead focus on her own faith (something she has control over) in being able to trust God even though she may not agree with the direction her husband is leading them in.

No husband’s leadership is going to be perfect, just like no marriage is going to be perfectly perfect 🙂 .

But I’ve seen that the best marriages

are where the wife learns to trust her husband with her life,

and also to ultimately trust God that He can and will lead them

even when they may take paths she doesn’t feel are right.

That is where the real growth of marriage begins, when the wife can fully trust her husband (which is a reflection of her own trust and faith in God), even when they’re going through stormy waters or rough patches.

When she decides to stop doubting his leadership, and to follow him like Sarah followed and obeyed Abraham, she has the chance to grow a beautiful faith like we are told in the New Testament.

In case anyone wants to go back and read the post I did which details submission even in the hardest circumstances, here is a link to the Sarah post.

“Let your beauty not be external – the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes – but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.

For in the same way the holy women who hoped in God long ago adorned themselves by being subject to their husbands, like Sarah who obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.

You become her children when you do what is good and have no fear in doing so.”

1 Peter 3:3-6

Watching couples where you can tell the wife truly trusts and follows her husband’s leadership makes women everywhere swoon, because not only is it beautiful, it’s actually romantic to be able to trust like that in your man!  And feminists hate that!  They hate that there are good men out there who cherish their wives so much, and wives who love them so much in return, that they’re actually willing to follow them and trust their leadership.  Because these feminists women don’t have that, they don’t want us women who know what it’s like to exist because it’s a reminder of how much they’ve failed.

No one else is telling you to have faith in your husband like this, but I am.  Husbands need their wives to believe in them and to trust their decisions for their family.

And I’m telling you to put your trust in God – that He can and will work things out for good for all those who are called according to Him (Romans 8:28).

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Aside from the faith or spiritual position, even from a practical perspective, there are clear reasons why a wife trying to get her husband to be “better” just doesn’t work.

Here is a quote from the author my mom had me reading as a young, pre-teen girl (and the main reason I am the woman I am today):

There are some Christian Women who have been taught “to provoke their husbands to righteousness.”  But the word provoke does not mean what is commonly implied.  The true meaning of the word is to incite, to inspire, or to arouse.  It does not mean to nettle or to push.

Women are Self Righteous

Why do women try to change men?  Because they have a self righteous attitude.  they feel that they put forth more effort into doing what is right, try more diligently to make marriage successful, are more active in church, and are better persons than are their husbands.  They look down on men, and therefore feel that the men, not themselves, need to improve.

The Sadduccees and the Pharisees in Biblical times had this same self-righteous attitude.  They were faithful to attend church, paid tithes, prayed, read the scriptures, fasted, observed any number of rituals, but the Savior called them “hypocrites”, not because of their faithfulness, but because of their self-righteousness.

The Christian Attitude

The very heart of Christian doctrine is: It is ourselves we must change.  We have been told to cast out the beam from our own eye first, and then we will more clearly see the mote which is in our brother’s.  Women who try to change their men trample on their freedom, and violate righteous principles.

From Fascinating Womanhood by Helen B. Andelin

This doesn’t mean that the things your husband decides to do will always work out.  Sometimes your husband’s leadership may result in some kind of failure.  If he got married young, chances are a few things worked themselves out through trial and error.  Or maybe your husband was a bachelor for a long time and wasn’t used to suddenly having to live with a woman in his house.  Maybe he had to adjust to the change through trial and error.  There’s nothing wrong with men having to take time to learn how to be a husband or how to lead in the way he feels comfortable in leading.  It’s the same with being a wife – it’s not something that just happens over night and POOF!!… you’re suddenly the perfectly trusting, adoring wife.

The first step is faith – having faith in your husband. 

And then the second mountain is usually figuring out how to deal with setbacks or failures, and still be able to keep your faith in him, as well as in God.

In other words, many things about your husband’s leadership will probably work themselves out through trial and error.  If a wife tries to keep that in mind, while also working on her ability to trust, and doesn’t nit-pick, or harp on his failures, or become a critical Christian toward her husband, then they’ll move beyond it.

I’ll probably post more about this at another time because it could be a rather longish post.  But knowing you both will fail each other at some point, and having a forgiving attitude puts a lot of failures in perspective, which again, allows for marriage growth and becoming more in love ❤ and closer.

Related Reading —

Reflections on this Father’s Day

3 Years Ago… Happy Father’s Day

All Things Bright and Beautiful

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It’s hard to find words to express all the feelings I feel this coming father’s day weekend.  I’m so grateful.  Grateful to have a husband who is a wonderful father, who is so good with our boys, demonstrating his love for them so beautifully.  He shows them what a man should look and be like, he gives them an example of what a strong husband who deeply loves (and always teases) his wife looks like.  And our oldest son loves watching his example!  I couldn’t be more elated with this man I chose, Father’s Day for me means honoring him and all he does for us, honoring the man and father I’ve watched him become throughout the years we’ve been married.

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I feel grateful that I had an amazing dad growing up who is still here to offer me help and guidance as he watches me being a mom to my…

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