Life Updates & Homeschooling… Again

I have many posts in draft, including one that has been asked several times here or via emails on what I think about women in ministry… it is coming, it’s just so complicated and long I’ve been trying to pare it down to a more easy-to-read post.

We’ve going through lots of things this past school year!  Homeschool has been amazing, even though sometimes it can be harder some days than others.  For the most part, it has been wonderful getting to really focus on teaching our older son (and to some degree our younger son) things that we feel the school system was deliberately leaving out or twisting to be seen from a false narrative.  And we’re able to focus so much more on Christian ethics and morals in our lessons, and involve the Christian aspects behind historical stories and even in science.

And going through Pilgrim’s Progress has just been AMAZING for our son.  Again, I cannot reccommend this book enough to families with children!  It is a MUST read for the strengthening of their faith (and for yours!).  Just read it, and honor it in your house.  I’m sure the sweet author John Bunyan may have gotten some things wrong, but overall it is very on point and a good tool for building a child’s faith.

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In other news, some of you may remember we’ve been trying to have another child.

It’s just been taking longer than we expected, which isn’t really “bad,” but every month when I find out I’m not pregnant, I feel this emptiness and longing… and tell my husband how I just simply want to have another of his babies.  It’s a very strange and sad kind of emptiness.  And I’m so so sorry to sound so selfish to any women out there who have dealt with never having a child.  I’m not in any way trying to minimize your pain – I’m sure I should be happy that we have 3 already (and I am!), but it IS just a strange kind of thing that I’m going through each month that I’m not able to conceive.  I knew it would probably take longer… I’m far older than I was when we had our first (almost a decade!) and I’m accepting that maybe it’s not possible.

I definitely am not trying to make it a big deal, and some people in our circle think I’m ridiculous for even wanting more children 😦 , but to be honest, it has just been a little depressing and hard.  And I never thought I’d feel those feelings when needing to wait or having to accept that … maybe 3 kids is “it?”  It’s ok, and I still love and trust God so much, but I’ve been surprised at these feelings inside.

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That and we’ve been through an intense few months of my husband studying for a work thing… something that took him away almost every second of him being off, but thankfully that season is over and we’re more into a, “let’s finish school strong,” mode 🙂 .

We’ve actually become busier as I’ve started to teach another sweet little boy (5 yr old) who is the grandson of our neighbor.  His father and mother had him out of wedlock in high school (she was only 16), and have both abandoned him to other life choices (her drugs and he’s off at college very far away).  He’s practically an orphan and it is just so hard to see up close and personal what that does to a child.

We’ve watched ALL of this play out over the years we’ve lived next to his grandmother.  And now she’s called upon me to kind of repair what they’ve broken and neglected.  He can’t even read or write well, and I’ve been gently teaching him just the basics, and thankfully it’s been working and hopefully in a small way, it will help him.  It’s so tragic.  He is so sweet, and my husband even wants to adopt him.  He’s basically become almost a part of our family as he’s over every day, and just kind of folded into the fabric of our life.

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Something that’s been such a blessing in this busy season has been the mom’s group I’ve talked about before.  It’s a group that’s mostly made up of very large, home-schooling families… think 4+ kids per mom who attends!  It is incredible the stuff I’m learning in this group ❤ and SO fulfilling to be around other like-minded women and children it’s hard to describe how nice it is.

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So with all that above, we’ve just been so. incredibly. busy.  And I’m exhausted, but it’s a good exhausted. 🙂

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Teaching Tots

For past few weeks, I’ve been training to be a Nursery Teacher each Sunday – I love children of all ages, but there is something special about 12 months to 2 years.

They are so innocent, so cute, so openly cuddly – being in that room for an hour makes me long for another baby!  I absolutely love playing with them, I get a high from loving on them, teaching them.  Who knew??  Of course I love my son, I love playing and teaching him, but to me that’s different… he’s mine.  I had no idea I’d feel the same way about other children – children I’ve never met until that moment.

When I was an ambitious & determined, full-time working mom in the research industry only a few months ago, every time I’d go to my son’s school to pick him up, the 3 and 4 year olds would surround me and talk to me, stare into my face and tell me I looked “preeetty,” that they loved my hair.  Some of the little girls would actually reach out and touch my blonde hair and play with it, or pretend to brush it.  I love children.  Maybe I missed my calling lol.

Fast forward to now, being my son’s “teacher,” he loves having me all to himself.

When I started this home-schooling thing with him a couple of months ago, he laughed and decided I was his “Miss Mommy.”  When I was just a little older than him (4 or 5?) I remember clearly thinking my parents were robots – there for me and me alone.  My son isn’t that way at all!  He’s completely aware of the fact that I’m human, he’s known my name now for almost a year (he asked when he was a little over 2 1/2)!  I didn’t know my parents were real people, much less that they actually had names.

My son & I LOVE playing the most ridiculous songs and dancing around the house – it’s impossible to not have fun when you’re teaching a child.  Or when jamming out to one of my favorite fellow Jews, Sacha Baron Cohen’s I like to Move It, if you have kids you MUST have them listen to this!