Things I Want My Daughter to Know: Your Beauty Will Fade & That Will Be Beautiful

growing old together

I just caught up with Lori Alexander’s post on beauty fading from a Christian (Proverbs 31 wife) perspective.  You can find it here (it’s great)!

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I do think about aging quite a bit, to me it’s nice, but I’m also aware that maybe it hasn’t really “hit” me yet.  When I’m sleep deprived, which is more often than not these days 🙂 , I DO feel like the Crypt Keeper lol.  But when our baby girl actually goes the full night sleeping (very rare), I wake up and feel fresh again.

But I’m getting older, there’s no mistaking that.

To me, aging is a privilege.

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.”

Proverbs 16:31

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Seeing my husband get older is actually quite sexy!  I love knowing we’re “growing old together.”  It’s very fulfilling in a way that’s hard to describe.

Seeing elderly couples who you know, are actually still in love, touches my heart!

elderly love

I think I’m lucky I married a man who is a dreamer ❤ and together we regularly talk about our plans for when we’re older.  The hopefulness of grandchildren, where we’ll take them, how much we’ll just enjoy having (hopefully) a lot of family around us during the holidays.  The real test of our parenting and relationship with our children will be when they’re finally adults and whether or not they want to spend time with us.  Our oldest son has brought up pretty often that he loves being with us and will be devastated when he moves out – I’m sure he won’t be as devastated when he becomes that age 🙂 , and I do assure him he’ll be “ready,” but at least right now, he tears up and says how much he loves living with us.  Everyone gets older whether they want to or not… as sad as it seems, at least it brings new chapters in life to explore as adventures.  I’d rather embrace these things than run away screaming from them.

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But even with saying all that, we still look pretty young – which is good and bad.

Just today a woman at the playground I was at with my children was talking to me, then suddenly actually asked me out of the blue, how old I was lol!  This does happen sometimes, and I don’t get it… it’s a little strange to ask a complete stranger how old they are in my book!  But I told her, and she was surprised and said how it was because I look so young and yet I have 3 kids.  She told me I don’t look older than 25.  A couple of months ago an elderly woman with her grand-daughter saw me grocery shopping alone, wearing my husband’s high school football shirt (where her grand-daughter just graduated), and thought I was probably from her graduating class!  When I told her how we’d been married 10 years, and had 3 kids, her mouth literally fell open.  Still shocked, she told me I looked 18.

I do sometimes wonder if the very cushy life I’ve lived, being married to a good man, having his babies and being able to stay home with them, has led to me still look younger than I would have if I had chosen a different path.  We definitely don’t have much stress aside from his job and some financial tightness of me not working.  But overall, we both feel very comfortable and happy – we have so many blessings we feel guilt over them at times.

But this is something I want my daughter to know and understand.  Even when you beauty does fade, and you start to really show your age (whenever that magically happens), I want her to enjoy it.

Part of enjoying it is enjoying (like Lori A. said in her post linked at the beginning) the relationships you’ve built up over the years with your husband and children.

I do think a large part of why I’m not afraid of growing older is because I feel so secure in the life we live together.  The Bible does say perfect love casts out fear.  My husband’s love for me, his enjoyment of growing older together with me, is probably the source of the happiness I can feel when I imagine being a grandmother myself.

It’s like the ultimate reward for a life well-lived.

Stephanie

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Things I Want My Daughter to Know: Keep it Classy

There’s an woman I know who looks, acts, (and even talks!) very much like this beautiful woman in this video.  For some strange reason, she has decided to adopt me over this past year, lol, and taken me under her wing (in advice, elegant home party planning, ettiquite, proper form, entertaining higher ups, etc.), and helps me a lot with running the events I do for our wives organization.  Her level of sophistication and class has truly challenged me to step up the elegance and effort on my part.  Wow was I ever lacking in this area!

Her sweet, beautiful and kind daughter is high school age, and I ADORE watching their relationship. 😀

So I would be remiss to not post this as “something I wish my daughter to know.”

Keep it Classy 😀

Stephanie

Pretty in Pink

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Someone… has just turned 5 months!

And she’s tickled pink about it…  😀

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I seriously get lost in her soft brown eyes… this girl is gorgeous!

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This headband was super easy to make (DIY style).

Just get a strip of sequins, in 1 1/2 or 1 inch width, from your local fabric store, measure out the size of your baby girl’s head, and cut it one inch shorter.  Obviously this only works with elastic band sequins.

Sew or glue (fabric glue or even hot glue works) in the back overlapping.

Done!  Perfect sparkly headband made in your own personal style.

Stephanie

Am I Tricking Men When I use Makeup? Is Makeup Unethical?

So…

the Makeapp …

LOL….

I’m going to try to write this post with a straight face…

….

ok!  I can’t 😉  😀

I’m laughing as I type ❤

Are we women tricking men with our makeup usage?

This is a lot like the constant harpy criticism that we’re all just teaching women to manipulate men… UN-ethically at that!  Oh my!!!

Recently, as you may have seen, an app came out called the Makeapp that allows men (or anyone really) to take a picture or upload a picture of a woman, and completely simulate what she probably looks like without makeup.

It’s not a perfect app, I’ve read up on it a bit and apparently some people actually look better without makeup than this app claims (it adds pimples and acne, so if you don’t have skin problems it won’t be completely accurate).  But overall, it’s pretty correct!

Is it tricking men to use makeup?

This topic has come up before in the world of male – female issues, in fact, I’ve actually written before on women covering their acne with makeup and men responding not so pleasantly to it.

Is makeup tricking men?  Well, to be completely honest, yes, it is, in a way.  But most reasonable people understand that makeup tends to make a woman look better, so they “get it.”  It evens out skin tone, it imitates the flushes and redder lips a woman gets when she’s in ovulation – making her extremely more sexually attractive.  It lengthens her eye-lashes, another thing proven to drive men subtly insane.  Is it manipulation of some kind of form?  I guess it is… when it’s used the way it’s intended (to make men more sexually attracted to you).

I decided to do it 😀

I used this picture… and in it (below) I actually don’t have very much makeup on.  Concealer, some foundation in areas but not all over “full-coverage,” mascara, and light pink lip gloss:

makeapp

LOL… So I guess I look like I have the flu 😀 ….

But ok… so is using makeup really unethical?

I think my other older post answers this question some.  If you’re deliberately hiding major flaws and such, yes, it’s effectively tricking a man into thinking you look VERY different from how you actually look.  You could make some kind of case that doing that was “unethical,” although most women who are doing that are doing it for their own self-esteem issues and not really trying to harm anyone.  But still, men don’t like feeling tricked… even if you’re covering acne for yourself so you can feel more confident 😦  They’ll still (as we saw in the other post) react badly to it if you put yourself out there like that one girl did.  It’s a no-win situation.

If you’re a teen and you’re worried how this app will affect the way guys see you, please try not to worry and just focus on important things.  If it DOES bother you, figure out ways to take care of your skin (toners, acne scrubs, prescription medicine if need be).  The thing that will give you the most confidence without makeup, will be having beautiful skin, and that’s just the truth.

Most men totally accept knowing you’ll look better with some makeup applied.  Heavy emphasis on the “some.”   Too much and it turns them off… usually.

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But almost all men dream of a woman who looks good without makeup and doesn’t need it to be beautiful.  And that’s the truth.  

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And that’s why this new Makeapp where men now have the magical ability to SEE what you look like underneath makeup really gets to women.  To be exposed for how you really look shouldn’t be an issue (a romantic interest will certainly find out anyway!), but for many it seems to be.  “It’s unfair!” some say.  “It’s SEXIST!” others say.

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Is there any good “take away” from this new app in the hands of men? 😉

Yes!  If you have good, beautiful skin, you’ll look great even without makeup!  Does the app distort it?  Yea, it does, but if it makes men feel better lol…. *shrug*

And technically, this makeapp shouldn’t worry you if you’re using makeup correctly anyway.

On the other hand, the Makeapp can also ADD LOTS of makeup to your face LOL… this was only after adding “one application” of makeup!  LOL… more like cosemtic surgery haha!

WOW!!!

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**Tear!!**  I don’t even recognize myself!!!  What an app!

Anyway… this app is really distracting!  If you’re a single woman, any man who is interested in you will already notice when you’re not wearing much makeup, and he’ll usually like it!  I’ve read many comments and emails where a girl says she couldn’t believe how the first time her boyfriend or husband told her she was “beautiful” was actually when they had been swimming or at a water park all day and all her makeup had washed off, or when they were hiking and it melted off -and guess what?  He still adored her.

If you have beautiful skin, you’ll still look great without all the makeup.  And that’s what men love.  I do believe most men do NOT want a woman who wears too much makeup.  It’s kind of obvious when someone does (unless they’re a brilliant makeup artist, which honestly men, most women aren’t).

But for women, even if you’re married – no, especially if you’re married – your husband wants to see you without any makeup on at appropriate times – first thing when you wake up, in his T-shirt or naked (however it is you prefer to sleep) – he wants to see his bare-faced Beauty and know you are his.

Stephanie

Aren’t You Just Teaching Women to Manipulate Men?

This isn’t just a question I’ve received before via email or in a comment, it’s a criticism that many people have pointed out whenever there’s a woman teaching (in real life or online) other women how to treat their husbands better in order to have a happy marriage.  I’ve seen it time and time again throughout the 4 years of blogging at this site.  And yes, I’ve been accused of selling “snake oil” to wives – manipulative feminine behaviors and techniques to get their husbands to give them what they want.  In reality, anything considered to be “snake oil,” would prove to be false over-time.  And I’ve many men and women tell me that these things are truth.  Manipulative techniques don’t actually work long-term in a marriage for producing good.  So no, I’m not selling “snake-oil” to wives.

This accusation always comes up though… always.  Even when I’ve come across women teaching others about simple femininity (not for wives but in general, how to be a woman), there’s always a few sour women who seem to scream from the sidelines, “MANIPULATION!!!!!! You’re just manipulating your husband into doing what you want him to do!!!”

***Side note***

Here is where a woman I love and admire, and have talked to privately in the past concerning what to do over these accusations (been meaning to email her again soon for daughter advice – if you’re reading this sweet Stingray, heads up for an incoming email), Stingray, has also confronted this accusation (albeit in a totally different way of accepting these tactics as manipulation)!  I’ve emailed with her a few times in the past, and respect her opinion greatly, so I’m adding it in to give you more insight into how like-minded women view this topic.  Click the link above if you want her specific take on this accusation that we’re teaching women to “manipulate” men.

I thought it would be good to go into this on my own blog, and go ahead and answer this question and criticism I’ve had off and on, because it IS important and women have a right to know an answer.

I hope this proves to be a thought-provoking post for you, no matter which side of the fence you sit on.

The Feminine wiles

Even by definition, the feminine wiles are described as clever talk or tricks, used to persuade someone to do what you want.  I’ve seen many women say behaving in a  feminine manner that brings out the best in men (your husband, but also your dad, brother, even sons are affected by this!), is just tricking him into behaving the way you want him to behave.  Using your femininity in order to inspire masculine virtues to come out in any man, is supposed to be a beautiful and good thing.

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But yes… to answer the critics… it CAN fall into manipulation IF the woman’s heart isn’t pure, and into it for the pure motivations of loving her husband.

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Manipulation is ugly.  Manipulating men to get them to do what we want is horrible.

No.  I am not trying to teach women how to “manipulate men,” with what I write or offer up here.  I don’t believe it is even possible long-term, for a wife, or even a single girl, to keep up a manipulative act.  Eventually the act will fall away, and her real self – her terrible character – will come out and chase men (even her husband in a multitude of small ways) away.

This criticism is only looking at the ugly side, and ugly heart motives, when it comes to using these behaviors and actions.  So while yes, a woman CAN use my advice to manipulate a man into falling in love with her or marrying her even, it’s intended to help women who have a pure heart, who genuinely want to love their husbands better and build a beautiful marriage.

I can’t help a woman whose heart is bent on seeing things only through a filter of sinful thinking.  Only she can lift that veil with prayer and making the choice to ask God to give her a clean and pure heart toward her husband.  So since I can’t really help a harpy screaming from the sidelines “MANIPULATION!!!!!!” I’ve gotten used to this false accusation (like Stingray had as well back when she was blogging) that it’s all “snake oil” and “unethical.”  This used to bother me, but now that I’ve talked to more women and have had the chance to see (in real life) the difference in their attitudes when presented with this stuff, I “get it.”  It all comes down to whether or not their heart is pure in wanting to love and be good to their husbands.  The sad thing is that a lot of women really don’t have pure intentions.

I’ve also seen women try to implement these things when their husband is already divorcing them.  If they’ve treated him terribly for 20+ years, and then suddenly try to implement these behaviors and techniques, yea he’s going to have a hard time believing his wife is sincere.  Then I’ve seen the wife (after becoming divorced and getting very bitter) usually complain that applying these techniques only made things much worse for her.  These are often the ones screaming “MANIPULATION!!!” the loudest.  If it didn’t work for her, it can’t work for anyone else!  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!  

Her husband’s strong negative reactions are actually explainable in a psychological way – it’s called “The Pandora’s Box.”  Sometimes it’s salvageable, but often it’s just not.  Usually there’s just been way too much nastiness there, and for decades long.  You can’t just easily undo that kind of trauma you’ve done to your husband, by acting kind and respectful now.  Even if you are sincere now, he has to work through MAJOR forgiveness issues, trust issues, etc. and a lot of men find it too painful.  A lot of men get angry that you’ve wasted so many years treating them horribly, and are only now just “waking up,” and taking responsibility for how you’ve damaged his soul.  It’s all very ugly and dark… but it’s reality when you reap what you’ve been sowing for decades in the heart of your husband.

I may write on that more (I do love to write!), but to me that is why these things are so crucial for women to know before they even start dating!  How many marriages would have been saved if women were only taught these crucial things about what men want when they were teens?  This is why I was motivated to start writing, and why I often target the younger crowd.

 

This is why your Character is important

Your character is talked about a lot on my blog.  Who you are – if you are truly all these things women teach about (including many posts on my blog) – others will understand and take note that you’re consistent.  This is best displayed in real life – with the real life men around you – whether it’s your father, husband, sons, etc, they will be the ones who ultimately know you and your character, especially over time.

I guarantee that your husband is already aware of who you truly are, and you’re either working to have a beautiful character and implementing these behaviors in your marriage to make it flourish, or you’ve let these things slide and you live with a somewhat happy marriage – but with no idea how great it actually could be.

Either way, your “real self” will always be exposed to the people you live with, especially your husband.  I’ve written before that who you are online, when no one is looking or holding you accountable – that’s who you really are.

Having a beautiful character is what will make these teachings work.  Having a pure heart is what will make your actions not seen as manipulative, but instead, sincere and they will inspire your husband’s love for you to grow immensely.

No matter how good you look on the outside (physically and in behavior like when practicing being kind or respectful to your husband), if you don’t have it together on the inside, if your heart isn’t in it, he will know, and he will hate it.

He will hate it because he will feel manipulated by you.  Hence why if I was really selling you “snake oil,” it just wouldn’t work for the long-haul of a marriage.

Your actions will always be manipulation on your part if it’s not coupled together with your heart intentions – in other words, if you aren’t loving him with purity and sincerity, you may as well not be loving him at all.

 

Why I Wear My Hair Long… Even with a Baby

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I know this is a sensitive subject (anything to do with a woman’s beauty is a sensitive subject lol) and this is a personal choice… but women who wear their hair down are almost universally perceived as feminine and alluring.  Hair is such a gift God’s given us to enhance our natural beauty.  And it is one of the main things men find sexy or attractive about a woman.  It’s her hair.

It’s normal in America for married women to either cut their hair short after kids, or just always wear it up. this isn’t so in many areas of Europe or even some other Eastern cultures where even older women wear their hair long.  As a result, I’ve read reports from men who have traveled to these areas, that they are AMAZED how sexy and beautiful even the older women are.  And it’s LARGELY because of 1) their attractive slender shapes and 2) their HAIR!

I’ve written about this hair topic a few years before when Dr. Laura described it as American (or Western culture women) having something called “frump syndrome.”  Even reading it, it just sounds scary!  It’s when women stop wearing makeup and always wear their hair up (hardly ever styled) and generally don’t care how they’re dressing now that they’re either 1) married, or 2) a stay at home mom with little kids or babies.  It’s pretty common, especially the hair thing.  It’s also really unattractive 😦 especially to men.

I think most women do this unconsciously.  They fall into a routine of always putting their hair up in a pony tail or bun and never think about how much better (more feminine) they’d look if they put more effort into wearing their hair down.  If you’re married, it’s selfish to never care about the way you wear your hair, or to start dressing frumpy just because you’re a stay at home mommy.  I know that sounds harsh, but you don’t see working women dressing the way us stay at home moms tend to (ouch!).  It’s because they know their workplace and their boss has higher standards of appearance.  Well, turns out most husbands also want to see you putting effort into your hair, makeup and clothes, even if you stay home with the kids.  To me this all makes sense… if a woman puts effort to look nice when she goes out for other people (or her own self-respect) of course she should put in effort on a daily basis for her husband who sees her at home.  It’s a major sign of disrespect to never put an effort into making yourself look more feminine or beautiful, even while staying at home.  And the BIGGEST contributing factor to a woman’s femininity is arguably, her hair.

It’s our most powerful “accessory.” 😉 ❤

For many women, it takes more work to wear your hair down, which is why they probably don’t do it.  I have to make sure it’s styled because my hair has insane body and sometimes frizz and doesn’t tend to look great when I just wake up.  So it takes a little bit of effort – not even that much though, like 5-10 minutes depending on the day, but my  husband is CRAZY about it when I wear it long and flowing.  And compliments me on it frequently.

Just this morning he walked in when I happened to be changing… my long hair was falling down over my breasts, and he was taken aback for a moment watching me… and called me his Lady Godiva!  ❤

He loves it, and he notices it all the time.  But the truth is… he wouldn’t even SEE how long it is if I always wore it up daily when working around the house.  He (and I!) would be missing out a big part of my feminine beauty if I selfishly daily hid my hair away from him.  It’s the little things that tend to enhance the romance in a marriage, and this is just one of the many “little things,” in my opinion.

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Even Prince George likes to get in on the action!

With a baby, I get it, it’s easier to put it up, but don’t put it up all the time, even if you do have a baby.  Put up with a little hair pulling 😉  I’m going through this right now, literally lol with my 4 month old.  You can teach them not to pull it so much.  And your husband will appreciate seeing you looking more feminine and beautiful – showing him you care about his desire to see you that way.

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Mommy, you just look SO beautiful!  Me HAS to stroke and grab your pwetty hair!

And obviously for doing chores, it needs to be out of the way so you don’t get frustrated and ca see what you’re doing.  But for things like carrying the baby around, breastfeeding, making some snacks or lunches (where you’re hair is less likely to be in the way) try wearing it down and see how much more feminine you feel.

Try a challenge and wear it down mostly for the next week.  If you’re guilty of always wearing it up for comfort and not having to mess with it, this will probably be hard for you at first to get used to.

This also means you’ll have to spend some time to make it look actually presentable, because just wearing it down if it’s not clean, brushed, or at least styled, won’t have the same “beautiful” and feminine effect for you or your husband.

If it’s frizzy and wild, this means you’ll need to put in the time and effort to make it look nice when down.  You probably wore it down a lot when you were dating right?

Don’t go to the Frumpside.

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Good Morning Sunshine!

Try wearing it down.

Stephanie

Peace in the Face of Death & Persecution

This is part of Lori Alexander’s most recent post, I thought it was an amazing testimony many of you would like to read and think about.  It was from a woman in her online chat room:

 

“Friends, I know that with the church shooting, many are experiencing fear and apprehension that such a thing could happen. Mentally, we know God is sovereign and in control, but we still experience worry for our families and ourselves. Could this happen to us? I wanted to tell you my story, not to sensationalize, but to testify to God’s faithfulness to his promises. (Warning, it may be upsetting to some.)

During my senior year of nursing school, I was sitting in class taking mid-terms when a classmate came in and began shooting. This was fifteen years ago when the only school shooting had been Columbine. No one knew what was happening and it took a while for us to realize. He shot one professor immediately. Our second professor was very vocal about her Christian faith. (She would always end her lectures telling us that she couldn’t talk about it in class, but if we ever wanted someone to talk to about where she found hope or someone to pray for us,to call or visit her any time after class.)

My classmate then turned, pointed the gun at her and asked, “Where is your God now?” She answered boldly, “Whether I live or die, does not change that God is right here, right now.” He then killed her and turned the gun on the class.

Countless times in scripture God tells us, “Do not be afraid.” I want to tell you that He is faithful to His promises. Hiding under the table that morning I knew I was going to die, but the most amazing thing happened, I felt no fear. There was only peace. I remember being sad about how upset my parents would be, but also at peace that God would take care of them.

The most real and authentic prayer of my life was also going to be my last. It was: (CLICK HERE TO READ THE END).

Married Women: Your Character Can Either Inspire Love or Inspire Indifference

I’ve written a few posts for single women concerning the topic of making their character – who they really are – more attractive.  When trying to attract a good man, a single woman obviously needs to be worthy of him and working on having the same character that she expects of her future husband, but it just doesn’t stop there.

Married women, more so than ever, need to also be keeping good emotional and mental health and be growing spiritually… all these things are important to increasing the beauty of their character throughout the trials of life.  You often find out who you really are, when you’re going through trials and pressed on all sides.

1 Peter 3:3-4 

Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving andelaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.

I’ve written a couple of posts here and here and here, on why outward beauty (a wife’s attractiveness) is also important, but when it truly comes down to it, I do believe that character is always more important.  Outward beauty is something that can be easily increased anyway, whereas your character takes a much longer time to attain, and then also to maintain throughout life and it’s temptations.

Character is what truly matters about a person

Even the wonderful Proverbs 31 woman’s husband proclaims this at the end of her passage:

Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised.

I think it can be tempting for women to, once they’re married or married for a few years on, to start letting themselves go when it comes to maintaining their character.

The problem is, however, that once you’re married, if you let go of having a beautiful character, who you are as a person when your husband chose you and only you, you’ll make your husband eventually fall out of love with you.

A wife’s character is that important.

Your Husband Has a Breaking Point

I’ve recently read some comments from Deti speaking of how a husband eventually has what he called I believe a, “Breaking Point.”  This is when your husband has finally had enough of you acting out your impulses to damage him and he comes to a point where it’s extremely hard to see you the same as he used to.

You never want your husband to get to “that point.”  So stop being stupid and damaging him with being critical, nit-picky, or putting up pictures of his messy side for laughs!

From Deti:

 

All I can tell you is this:

When a man’s wife or long term woman disrespects him one too many times, whatever existed before is completely destroyed.

Gone.

Whatever he felt for her – gone.

Whatever he was willing to do for her before, he’s no longer willing to do, or capable of doing. Everything. Gone. Leveled. Not one stone left standing on stone.

And he never forgets it.

Oh, he can forgive. He can move on. You can even move on together.

But the things you said, the things you did, to destroy it all, are never forgotten.  Not ever.

Some things you say, you cannot unsay. You can’t take them back. Some things you do cannot be undone. That history will always be there. Always. It will never ever go away.

It will always color the way he sees you. You will be forever different to him.

He can, and probably will, get past it eventually. Your relationship might survive. But whatever it was before will not be again. You will have to reconstruct everything. What is built back will not look like what was before. Many times, it will not look anything like what it was before. And you will have to live with that. Or not.

A man can take a lot of disrespect from a woman. And he can go a long time with it. But when you get to “too much” or “one too many times”, it’s done. DONE. OVER. You’ve knocked it all down, destroyed it all. And whatever was before, will never be again.

Perhaps a little food for thought for womenfolk as they wisely and prudently consider their men.

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A big tenant of all the principles of character is to treat others the way you’d want to be treated.  I always ask myself WHY this is so hard for Christian wives to “get?”  We’re basically taught all this in kindergarten for Christ’s sake!!  Why would you be so stupid as to do this to your own HUSBAND?!

So…

Do you criticize him – even when it’s light-heartedly joking about his faults or flaws?  No one likes a passive-aggressive person who makes light of other people’s failings or short-comings to get a few laughs, don’t do this to your husband unless you want to make him eventually fall out of love with you.

Are you sarcastic?  Be prepared to be met with unkind, sarcastic responses back from him someday when he finally has enough!

Do you share his embarrassing moments publicly?  I’ve seen even Christian women take pictures of their husband’s dirty side of his bed, and put it up for display on their blog!  I’d be interested to see how a wife would react if their husband did something like that to them, I think there’s a good chance they’d be very embarrassed.  If you’re tempted to do something like this, even for laughs on social media, always ask yourself if it’s respectful and protecting his privacy and reputation, or being a discreet wife (which men love).

If you put up pictures of the messes your husband makes, people will tend to think he’s a real slob, and then you’ve damaged his reputation and harmed him overall by being indiscreet.

Revealing your husband’s faults in trying to be “real” with other people, is not a kind or wise thing to do, or even fully accurate since you may have caught him at a bad time when he was busy and forgot to clean up.  Either way, are you doing things daily that undermine his trust in you and cause him to slowly view you negatively?

If we allow ourselves to always nit-pick and harp on our spouses’ flaws, (or worse, expose their short-comings online for everyone to see!) eventually we’re going to succeed in having them view US in that unkind manner, and it doesn’t look like that would be fun!

The wise woman builds up her house (and husband), while the foolish one tears it down for likes on facebook or to be seen as “more real.”

 

Stephanie

Single Women: Character Flaws Make a Girl Ugly & Unattractive to Men

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I love Lori Alexander.  I love her brutal honesty and how she just tells it like it is to younger women.

Yes, men will notice a beautiful woman when one comes by, it’s natural and designed by God in their masculine nature to be attracted to a variety of different kinds of beautiful women.  I think most women have to deal with little insecurities, especially at the beginning of a relationship or even the beginning of a marriage when they’re still finding out how deep their husband’s love goes for them.

But I’ve found that most men love their wives incredibly deeply. 

It is amazingly romantic to understand just how much a good man loves his wife!

So… as long as you’ve picked a man of good character, and you’re not neglecting him or making it easier for him to be tempted by porn or other women, you really have nothing to fear here.  

You DO have to fear, however, if you give in to your insecurities and become the traits that Lori mentions in her journal post.

Anger and bitterness ruin the character of a woman… it doesn’t matter what she looks like on the outside, these traits really do make her ugly and unattractive to even her husband.

The quest all of us should be on is to become what Lori writes here:

“Make yourself more beautiful to him

by becoming more kind,

more loving,

more attentive to his needs,

and more gentle.”

 

This is what your husband needs, and he wants all that in only you.

Stephanie

Barbie Knows How to Be Fruitful & Multiply!

be fruitful multiply

This is so cute!  A fellow police wife and friend has a daughter who takes toys to the store sometimes.  Apparently the whole Barbie family had to go on this grocery outing LOL!

This is what she said —

“My children fully believe in the word of God

and know that we are to be fruitful and multiply,

this includes Barbie world.

I must say that I will miss these days

when I’m caught off guard

either by carrying around a huge stuffed animal that is a duck

or pregnant Barbies…..

it’s Saturday y’all.

That’s all I got.”

This is partly why I love Texas.  It’s the South, the Christian women are REAL.  And little girls still play with Barbie and want to have BIG families.

I know… I’m sorry you’re not Texan 😉  Feel free to move here, though.

Stephanie