Hi Dr. Laura!
My husband is easy. He’s pretty much in the mood all the time. Whenever, wherever… we have sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three (and we’re in our 40’s). But because women are different, I found that it’s good to always stay “prepared”…
One way is, I NEVER go to bed with clothes on. The second is that I have a few things I rotate inside of my head about my husband throughout the day. Things I love about him, things that attracted me to him in the first place. I focus fully on one or two things and before I know it, I’m ready to go. And yes, even with a headache.
My mother taught me to never say no to my husband, but I realize that there is a difference between just being a willing participant and being right there in the moment with him. It’s my very favorite part of the life we share, and I think it’s his, too.
I’ve talked on the blog before a few times, about how I listened to Dr. Laura on the radio fairly often when I was a little girl. My mom always had her on (when she was on air), and wow was it insightful LOL! The female callers complaining about their husbands were always the worst and most annoying people to behold. They’d complain about their husband’S normal male-habits, or negative things like having a porn addiction, or that he didn’t clean the house the way she wished he would, or that he had no motivation to move up in his career or make more money, and on and on the complaints were.
She’d speak very harshly to them, although I enjoyed hearing her tell them those things, I always thought to myself that being that harsh with the women was not something I’d want to do. But perhaps I was wrong… ? Maybe those types of women truly do need a smack to the head or to be treated as harshly as they’re more than likely treating their husbands. A lot of the stuff I heard that the men were going through (when the men would call in) sounded like emotional and psychological torture or abuse! So maybe I was wrong to think they didn’t need some very harsh “slamming” of their own behaviors, perhaps that’s the only way to help them gain humility – by giving them a mirror to see themselves the way other people see them.
And how many women that were like that, were Christian women going to church? You would think Christian women would set the bar high for being kind and gentle and extremely respectful of their husband and his “flaws,” guarding him and protecting him from strangers’ misjudgment. I could always tell, even as a young girl, that these women were very sure they were “right” and “good” even though it was pretty obvious they were gossiping and slandering their husbands to strangers on the radio.
The good callers were the ones who were humble, and who listened to Dr. Laura’s advice and allowed her to call them out if what they were doing was wrong. Like the woman who penned this letter above ❤ She’s taken Dr. Laura’s advice to have LOTS of sex with her husband, and to not only do it because of duty, but to do it enthusiastically and with a good heart towards him!
“It’s my very favorite part of the life we share, and I think it’s his, too.”
Yes! I’ve told my man this many times 😀
Let’s look at her tips for having a better sex life:
- NEVER go to bed with clothes on (lol… yea that does work!)
- Focus on good things about your husband throughout the day – things you like about him as a man, and things that made you attracted to him in the first place
- Don’t just have sex more, have MORE FUN SEX. Don’t just give him “duty sex” (bleh) but actually enjoy giving him sex
I actually think there are different “kinds” of sex (no I’m not talking about sex positions – Eek!). I mean there can be different motivations for having sex. One of my favorite motivations to give my husband sex is being thankful for him and for everything he does for us as a family.
I call it “Gratitude Sex!”
It’s when you’re so thankful that your husband provides for you, is such a good father to your kids, and is so good in a myriad of little ways, that you just want to knock his socks off with really good (grateful) sex!
I think husbands are often taken for granted. They’re expected to work hard and expected to do the dirty jobs around the house… but do we as wives really thank them enough?
Is it so bad to thank them with our bodies?
In my experience, it’s more than good 😀