Every year… it never fails 😉 … we on social media are bombarded with new posts or youtube videos, written by mothers (or their strangely apologetic husbands) moaning and groaning about how horrible being a mom is for them and that it “sucks” that they only get ONE day as a “break” and then proceed to complain that even that ONE day isn’t actually a “break.” They usually use words like “shitty” of course, though, lol.
Apparently, if you’re a Mom/Grandma/Aunt/etc, Mother’s Day has turned into a week-long, self-indulgent, victimhood-mode of “poor me” attitude for you to indulge in without censorship. In fact, even bringing up the point that all these posts of moms complaining about how much they hate Mother’s Day (and every other day of the year) because they have to spend it with their kids, isn’t good for them or their kids – if you dare bring this up on social media, you’re labeled judgmental and not Christian or loving like Christ did.
Motherhood is hard.
I totally get many of us moms that were raised in this culture, where we grew up given trophies for just being there (and awesome? LOL), that motherhood feels like too much to handle. There’s no one else there to “save us” from the sick days, or when our husbands are away on business trips, or when they’re deployed, or working late… and my generation (Gen Y) in particular, aren’t very good at showing grit and the desire to push through difficulties like you’re running an excruciating marathon.
Most of us were just never taught how to have grit or persevere through things we’d really rather not be doing. We live in a fairly easy, maybe too-accessible culture where everything is either fast and quick for us, or already available. In my opinion, our culture has created a bunch of weak women. We’re going to be remembered as the women who every year, took to social media to complain and whine about the very blessings (children!) we said we craved.
It’s incredibly ironic that in this age of feminism where women are supposed to be stronger than ever, they complain and whine (showing extreme weakness) more than I believe they ever did under a patriarchal “oppressive” society. Is that what it means to be a strong woman now? Someone who thinks “Mother’s Day” is her enemy?
I think I’m lucky that my mother frequently reminded us that most of life was just doing the boring, hard things that needed to be done. It wasn’t supposed to be easy. Raising kids isn’t supposed to be easy. But that’s not really the point.
The point is that even if you think motherhood really really stinks, you should realize that your kids don’t deserve a mom who always feels that way, or allows herself to fall into “victim-mode.”
Because it’s going to affect them negatively, it just will.
What are we teaching our kids when we show them that just being their mom really really sucks?
Are we helping them to become better humans who suck it up and build a beautiful, and very necessarily difficult, but so needed, civilized structure for this country?
Do we want a massive generation of more people who don’t believe in hard work, who love to complain as loudly as they can, and in any opportunity that they can, to claim their status of victimhood?
If you’ve felt this way before about Mother’s Day, I do understand that it’s hard. Dealing with toddlers who scream and throw things at you, hit you and are completely unreasonable… day in and day out… is VERY hard, and yes, sometimes it really really stinks! But you have to push through those feelings, because they only last a moment when that toddler is being hard.
And then 3 minutes later, they want a hug and are sweet and adorable again.
You don’t have to “give in” to feeling like the victim to your own life or like your children are “oppressive.”
Anything worthwhile in life is supposed to be difficult.
It’s supposed to be painful. Because anytime you sacrifice anything in your life, it is going to be a bit painful. Motherhood is full of those unmeasurable sacrifices – but you have to try to find the beauty in them, and throw off the feelings of resentment or that you’re being “oppressed” by your children.
Compare it to running and getting your body in shape. If you listened to your feelings, you’d tell yourself constantly that you “hate exercising” and that “it sucks” and then you’d never feel properly motivated to do it. It’s the same with parenting. It’s supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to have moments of painful sacrifice. And no, you’re not supposed to just whine and complain on social media (to complete strangers) about how much you can’t stand God’s blessings in your life – because it’s not good for you.
Please… try… just one year 😀 TRY to enjoy this mother’s Day without making a whining post or reminding your husband that you “should” get paid $100,000+ for all your “sacrifices.”
Honestly… if you really understood what that word sacrifice means, then you’d understand WHY you don’t get paid money to be a mom.