If you want to catch a guy – a great guy, a handsome guy, a polished, high-value man… first, you need to get his attention.
How does a girl go about this? What is seen as obviously trying to get too much attention, versus getting enough so that a girl can get noticed by the right man she is trying to attract? It is a very tricky thing for a girl… she might have a great character, be loving and kind, be generous and virtuous, but all these things won’t go noticed unless she, herself, IS noticed.
Fortunately, this really boils down to two things: how does the girl look, and how does she present herself in mannerism. It is fortunate because both of these things are very capable of being channeled and developed with knowledge and practice.
Is she in shape? This is (I know) probably the first thing men notice whether they are trying to or not, their visual senses automatically pick up whether the woman possesses a body shape that is proportional. Yes, I said proportional. There are many different body types, some even cultural, and while men may have their own specific preferences at times, in general, men seem to simply care if she is proportional.
Another vital aspect of visual appearance is a girl’s health, the obvious signs of physical health. This can even mean muscle mass (ie. anorexia doesn’t look healthy just the same as obesity). The vibrancy of a girl’s hair, the way she keeps it – if it is unkempt and greasy or full of split ends, it can signify internal mental health issues. Hygeine is obvious, but when it is neglected, there is usually a health/mental health reason.
Feminine clothing, or clothes that boys just don’t wear, and Feminine scent, perfume in her hair, scented body wash, a lotion, almost any little touch of feminine scent (as long as it is not over-powering) is attractive to men. Less is more, and that goes for clothing options (choose simple yet eye-catching, pleasing and feminine options instead of overwhelming styles that are merely outrageous). You don’t want to look like a Lady Gaga spectacle, a few well chosen pieces that work together are best for an outfit to win men’s attention. Less is more is a give-in when it comes to scent. If they can smell you coming, 😉 it is too much!
This is a great, vast, exciting topic because women can work on and develop how they want to present themselves. Most men best respond to a woman who is vivaciously happy. Joyful, cheery, and playfully confident, unafraid of teasing him. The single Christian girl that thinks these behaviors are too forward would do well to remember that flirtation with boys is not a sin! It bewitches boys, and if used well, can catch you the man of your dreams.
So what are mannerisms when it is boiled down to it? It encompasses using her facial expressions, basically being confident and joyful enough to use them, and use them without hesitation. It is charming & endearing to men to show your vulnerability in wearing your emotions on your sleeve, it brings out an innate protectiveness in their soul, so that they can’t help but be drawn to you. The way a girl uses her eyes (big time), is described well in The Fascinating Girl
One part of the feminine manner that you can always depend upon to win the notice of men is the eyes. This does not mean an old-fashioned fluttering of the eyes and a blush behind a fan, as was considered charming in colonial days. Nor does it mean a sexy “coy” glance. The charming manner of using the eyes is a form of timorousness, as was described int he chapter on feminity. The method is the following: When you see a man whom you want to notice you, try to get his attention by looking at him. As soon as he looks at you, when you catch his glance, look directly into his eyes for a moment. After a few seconds, lower your eyes or look to the side. A longer look is far too aggressive and can even be vulgar, but a brief look is feminine.
Win his attention, use your feminine charms. 😉
(Image from The Great Gatsby)
A few months ago, a feminist friend & I dialogued about this video of a woman speaker “un-dressing” onstage in the name of Feminism. She wasn’t doing a strip-tease, she was instead making a big display of the way women are oppressed by the expectation of them looking pleasant, professional, or beautiful. How dare women look beautiful or be expected to look put-together for their employers.
In the video, she comes on stage looking quite beautiful in a professional way. Nothing is wrong at all in the way she is presented and dressed, however, throughout the video she seeks to prove that all the “unnatural” things she is “required” or “expected” to do in our society in order to be taken seriously as a responsible woman, are oppressive to her. My response was humor, knowing full well that no one is putting a gun to her head, that make-up and hair care do not have to take as long as she was drawing it out to prove her point. The simple fact (after studying beauty for over a decade now), is that women can look quite beautiful with only a mere 30 minutes of prep. 30 minutes to take care of themselves. 30 minutes to look professionally presentable. 30 minutes to gain respect for themselves and in front of people who pay them money to represent them. 30. Minutes.
It’s long been an acknowledged (albeit not always true) thing that feminists are “ugly,” or that feminism is for “ugly women,” and this is not a small part of that. From the beginning of its grassroots movement in the late 1800’s, feminism has gone against the idea of a woman ever going to the trouble to make herself more beautiful for a man. In fact, feminism in our day and age has made a very big case on women not having or being “oppressed” by doing anything for anyone, including their own children. Feminists are wrong in their understanding of a woman’s beauty, and the gift she is capable of giving to her husband when she makes the most of what God has given her.
Beauty matters, undeniably. God cares about the visual. It’s obvious when you see the beauty reflected in a baby’s smile, the masterpiece of artwork that is detailed in a sunset, or even in the beautiful structure of a woman’s face (the face that God chisled out for her – it is not just genetics, but a design given to her, gifted to her, by God). Oh yes, beauty itself is a gift that God gives to some of His children. It matters. It doesn’t mean that they matter inherently more at all than the next person, but their gift of having beauty is not a curse, but something that displays the hand of the Artist who created them.
God was the first Artist, and an artist in the truest form who uses science and mathematics to execute the most eye-pleasing, wonderful designs of beauty all over the world. The same Artist who designed the stars and their brilliance, who created math itself, combining physics with beauty to ensure that the very planets in orbit and astrophysics align in the perfect beauty & brilliance of their appearance (astronauts are frequently in awe of the sheer beauty of even our own planet) and their function (and I mean function even in the mathematical sense, yes, to me math, because it is Truth, is beauty).
God did not have to create beauty. Beauty exists for our own pleasure in viewing it. Think about that for a moment. He gave us beauty in flowers, landscapes, designs, features, sunsets, animals, the human body, facial structures, all for the entire purpose of it being for our pleasure when viewing it.
The same God who has so much flair for beauty, also has the greatest sense of humor. He designed the platypus, the adorable koala bear with it’s unique and characteristic nose, and the hippo who has been the brunt of fat jokes for decades! We have a God who not only can create masterpieces of beauty, He can also make us laugh with His good-humored taste for hilarity.
Obviously, beauty methods can go overboard, and I am not advocating for that kind of thing. However, when feminists (the woman in the video starts to talk about the 4th wave of feminism towards the end), stand on stage and claim that makeup and styling their hair are somehow against what women should love to do for themselves (not even mentioning for their husbands who they tried to attract that way), or say it is somehow oppressive to be expected to show up to work presentable. I’m sorry, it is a perversion of the truth.
Found this gem today… a very old interview probably done in the late 80’s or early 90’s. I remember watching Paulina in her 80’s movies when I was little… my parents loved her. She was captivating… and it’s nice to see she considered herself an ugly-duckling growing up. Being a late-bloomer myself, I totally relate.
Enjoy this rare find!
Back in the 90’s… I was swimming in my best friend’s private pool in the middle of summer. Texas heat is scorching, so we honestly spent as much time as we could in the cool of the water. It was evening and her cousin was over – a boy, a little older than us, with a bad reputation and totally into all things “cool.” I had just started learning to use eyeliner and mascara, and like a school-age girl, was too insecure to swim without at least eye makeup still on.
In the light of the moon he watched me come up from the water, and I watched him stare at my face with a kind of strange awe and blurt out,
“Wow, you look like one of the Cocaine Models. It’s your smudged eyes.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, unsure if this was truly a compliment or just a musing of an older boy. Looking back now, I know exactly what he was talking about.
And now… from the recent Allure April 2014 issue, in an article by Elizabeth Siegel, the classic smokey eyes have taken a turn for spring: using color instead of purely grays & blacks to offset the harshness for daytime.
Grungy (a particularly 90’s look)
(photos by David Cook & Norman Jean Roy)
Sasha Pivovarova, born in Moscow, Russia, in 1985, has been inspiring the modeling world since her debut in Prada’s Milan show in 2005. After this show, she became the FACE of Prada. Her daughter (in the above picture), Mia Isis, was born in 2012.
She’s also an artist, her work has been in French Vogue and in galleries in Paris & New York – she does intriguing self portraits.
True to her name (which can mean sunshine, warmth, truth, gentle & soft) she projects such a bright, happy aurora…
And lest some haters think that she’s a selfish mom for losing the baby weight so fast because she’s a model, she actually took nearly two years off from walking for Fashion Week. She’s one of the few models who took a break after her baby was born, and after a long break, was still able to break back in. So haters, seek hate elsewhere. 🙂
If you haven’t fallen in love with her already, check out the video below:
If you’re interested in more Sasha Pivovarova inspiration & her unique artwork, check out this great fanblog: http://sasha.ldblog.jp/