Why I Wear My Hair Long… Even with a Baby

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I know this is a sensitive subject (anything to do with a woman’s beauty is a sensitive subject lol) and this is a personal choice… but women who wear their hair down are almost universally perceived as feminine and alluring.  Hair is such a gift God’s given us to enhance our natural beauty.  And it is one of the main things men find sexy or attractive about a woman.  It’s her hair.

It’s normal in America for married women to either cut their hair short after kids, or just always wear it up. this isn’t so in many areas of Europe or even some other Eastern cultures where even older women wear their hair long.  As a result, I’ve read reports from men who have traveled to these areas, that they are AMAZED how sexy and beautiful even the older women are.  And it’s LARGELY because of 1) their attractive slender shapes and 2) their HAIR!

I’ve written about this hair topic a few years before when Dr. Laura described it as American (or Western culture women) having something called “frump syndrome.”  Even reading it, it just sounds scary!  It’s when women stop wearing makeup and always wear their hair up (hardly ever styled) and generally don’t care how they’re dressing now that they’re either 1) married, or 2) a stay at home mom with little kids or babies.  It’s pretty common, especially the hair thing.  It’s also really unattractive 😦 especially to men.

I think most women do this unconsciously.  They fall into a routine of always putting their hair up in a pony tail or bun and never think about how much better (more feminine) they’d look if they put more effort into wearing their hair down.  If you’re married, it’s selfish to never care about the way you wear your hair, or to start dressing frumpy just because you’re a stay at home mommy.  I know that sounds harsh, but you don’t see working women dressing the way us stay at home moms tend to (ouch!).  It’s because they know their workplace and their boss has higher standards of appearance.  Well, turns out most husbands also want to see you putting effort into your hair, makeup and clothes, even if you stay home with the kids.  To me this all makes sense… if a woman puts effort to look nice when she goes out for other people (or her own self-respect) of course she should put in effort on a daily basis for her husband who sees her at home.  It’s a major sign of disrespect to never put an effort into making yourself look more feminine or beautiful, even while staying at home.  And the BIGGEST contributing factor to a woman’s femininity is arguably, her hair.

It’s our most powerful “accessory.” 😉 ❤

For many women, it takes more work to wear your hair down, which is why they probably don’t do it.  I have to make sure it’s styled because my hair has insane body and sometimes frizz and doesn’t tend to look great when I just wake up.  So it takes a little bit of effort – not even that much though, like 5-10 minutes depending on the day, but my  husband is CRAZY about it when I wear it long and flowing.  And compliments me on it frequently.

Just this morning he walked in when I happened to be changing… my long hair was falling down over my breasts, and he was taken aback for a moment watching me… and called me his Lady Godiva!  ❤

He loves it, and he notices it all the time.  But the truth is… he wouldn’t even SEE how long it is if I always wore it up daily when working around the house.  He (and I!) would be missing out a big part of my feminine beauty if I selfishly daily hid my hair away from him.  It’s the little things that tend to enhance the romance in a marriage, and this is just one of the many “little things,” in my opinion.

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Even Prince George likes to get in on the action!

With a baby, I get it, it’s easier to put it up, but don’t put it up all the time, even if you do have a baby.  Put up with a little hair pulling 😉  I’m going through this right now, literally lol with my 4 month old.  You can teach them not to pull it so much.  And your husband will appreciate seeing you looking more feminine and beautiful – showing him you care about his desire to see you that way.

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Mommy, you just look SO beautiful!  Me HAS to stroke and grab your pwetty hair!

And obviously for doing chores, it needs to be out of the way so you don’t get frustrated and ca see what you’re doing.  But for things like carrying the baby around, breastfeeding, making some snacks or lunches (where you’re hair is less likely to be in the way) try wearing it down and see how much more feminine you feel.

Try a challenge and wear it down mostly for the next week.  If you’re guilty of always wearing it up for comfort and not having to mess with it, this will probably be hard for you at first to get used to.

This also means you’ll have to spend some time to make it look actually presentable, because just wearing it down if it’s not clean, brushed, or at least styled, won’t have the same “beautiful” and feminine effect for you or your husband.

If it’s frizzy and wild, this means you’ll need to put in the time and effort to make it look nice when down.  You probably wore it down a lot when you were dating right?

Don’t go to the Frumpside.

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Good Morning Sunshine!

Try wearing it down.

Stephanie

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Summer Waves for Naturally Curly Hair

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If you have naturally curly hair, I understand… you love it, but it’s more than likely taken you 20+ years to get to that point where you embrace your naturally given tendrils.  The Winter season is great for our hair… its not only easier to dry effectively, the air has less humidity leading to smoother locks and less frizz.  But what about the Summer?

Curly hair, if not taken care of properly, can become frizzy and damaged to the point of breakage in several areas.  My mom… dear mom… grew up having straight as a board, beautiful long blonde hair.  She prayed and prayed for a daughter with curly hair.  When I came out (with hair no-less), she was elated… Behold!  A curly-headed baby girl!

Problem was, she had no clue how to manage or care for curly to wavy hair.  It wasn’t until I was 10 years old, when a girl in my 4th grade class (one of the popular, pretty ones) asked me if I ever actually brushed my hair.  I was mortified, this was confirmation my hair truly was a walking disaster… and I knew I needed some major beauty intervention asap.

Here are some tricks I learned from older girls, and female teachers that had curly hair… and how you can survive your Summer with beautiful waves or natural curls.

1) Never brush your curly hair when it’s dry.  So that popular girl that teased me about my hair when I was 10, the frustrating thing was that I actually WAS trying to brush my hair.  Brushing through curly hair actually causes the curls to come apart and be frizzy instead of smooth.  You brush straight hair when it’s dry… but brushing curly hair can either cause damage and breakage (where your hair literally breaks off), or make it poof out in tuffs of frizz.

2) Comb through curly hair when it’s wet and smothered in a good, moisturizing conditioner.  Your curly hair gets frizzy when it doesn’t have enough moisture in each strand, humidity makes this worse because the strands are reaching out into the air to grab ahold of that moisture.  Because the strands are actually physically designed differently than straight strands, it is crucial to deep condition curly hair with either an excellent regular conditioner, or using a special deep conditioner once a week.  Leave the conditioner on for the recommended amount of time, if you rinse it out too quickly, it simply won’t work to give you the lasting moisture you need.

3) Rinse with cool to cold water.  This is something that may be less known, but hot or warm water actually opens the hair shafts, letting moisture (or conditioner) rinse out of your hair, so no matter how long you let it sink in, if you rinse with hot water, all the conditioner you just used rinses out and is wasted.  Rinsing with cool to cold water actually closes the hair shaft, locking in that moisture and conditioner, and leaving your hair feeling silky and smooth.

4) Use a silk serum, oil, or cream to lightly coat hair about 2/3 up from the bottom, leaving the top part of your hair alone.  This works best when wet for some products, or when dry for others… following instructions for the particular product.

5) For beautiful waves, or smoothing out voluminous hair, twist your wet or partially dried hair into a low pony tail (without a hair tie to secure it), and then wrap the twisted hair around itself into a low bun, securing gently with a hair tie over the bun.  You can sleep on it if it is partially dried enough, or simply wait until dry, then undo the twisted bun and smooth out the areas around your face with a flat iron.  This takes less than 1 minute and gives your look a more polished effect.

Girl With a Dragonfly Tattoo’s Summer Beauty Guide

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Up-Do’s

I’ve always loved braids… until this last weekend, I’ve never taken the time to learn how to french braid my own hair though.  When I was 17, I was a summer camp counselor – it was one of the greatest jobs ever – you learned about taking care of elementary to pre-teen age kids since they were in your cabin for a week – 24/7 – you had the responsibility of getting them where they needed to be, and showing up to teach classes yourself.  We had swimming classes, tennis, archery, twirling, gymnastics, cheerleading, leather crafting, ceramics, and many others I can’t quite remember.  I loved teaching the kids, being their counselor and pretend “mommy” for the week… we even had to make sure they ate well as we were at the tables with the kids for every meal!  Imagine that… lol… parenting prep; but during that summer I must’ve braided more heads than I could count.  My favorite was doing two french braids – one on each side of their head basically – and I got really good at it, but still could never do my own hair.  These videos are great guides to some basic braids that look amazing while at the pool or beach.

For a girl that was very interested in makeup, beauty and hair products, the summer was one of the hardest times for me to look good, and yet still have all the fun that playing in the heat, water, or humidity brought.  Here are some tricks I’ve found along the way,

Minimal Makeup

This is crucial….  the last thing you really want to do is wear too much makeup or wear the waterproof foundations that look too fake or overdone.  The best thing I’ve found is to do the most minimal approach you can get away with.  If this is no makeup because you have an easy complexion, that’s awesome!  If you feel like you need some skin-tone evening, try a lightweight BB cream – they often come with anti-oxidants, moisturizer, and sunscreen in them now, and feel (and look) like you’re wearing nothing!  When I feel like I need more coverage, using some concealer under my eyes, or down the ridge of my nose, and then blending with the BB cream gives a polished and perfected look while still looking conceivably makeup-free.

Eyes

All you need really is a good water-proof mascara!  Every summer I buy one first thing in May, like an exciting ritual getting prepped for playing in the water with our family.  This year I’ve also bought some soft pencil (not water-proof) eye-liner to give my eyes more definition… with the lack of makeup or lipstick when out at the beach or pools, I want my eyes to at least stand out.  Lining the bottom row (on the outside) looks great with a soft pencil for the summer… save your dramatic liquid eye-liners for the fall and winter seasons.

Lips

Lips are easy in summer – you can simply do nothing, put on balm, a sheer but shiny lip gloss (sexy),

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or even go for dramatic summer colors like Blood Orange, a variety of pinks.  I adore Emily Weiss’ quick list of her favorites,

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A close up of Revlon Kissable Balm Stains for Summer, less than $8 in the US

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And red lips are always, always in… no matter the season

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For going out with my boys now, I use a sheer lip gloss if I remember in time ❤

Single Women: Win Men’s Attention

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If you want to catch a guy – a great guy, a handsome guy, a polished, high-value man… first, you need to get his attention.

How does a girl go about this?  What is seen as obviously trying to get too much attention, versus getting enough so that a girl can get noticed by the right man she is trying to attract?  It is a very tricky thing for a girl… she might have a great character, be loving and kind, be generous and virtuous, but all these things won’t go noticed unless she, herself, IS noticed.

Fortunately, this really boils down to two things: how does the girl look, and how does she present herself in mannerism.  It is fortunate because both of these things are very capable of being channeled and developed with knowledge and practice.

Visual Appearance

Is she in shape?  This is (I know) probably the first thing men notice whether they are trying to or not, their visual senses automatically pick up whether the woman possesses a body shape that is proportional.  Yes, I said proportional.  There are many different body types, some even cultural, and while men may have their own specific preferences at times, in general, men seem to simply care if she is proportional.

Another vital aspect of visual appearance is a girl’s health, the obvious signs of physical health.  This can even mean muscle mass (ie. anorexia doesn’t look healthy just the same as obesity).  The vibrancy of a girl’s hair, the way she keeps it – if it is unkempt and greasy or full of split ends, it can signify internal mental health issues.  Hygeine is obvious, but when it is neglected, there is usually a health/mental health reason.

Feminine clothing, or clothes that boys just don’t wear, and Feminine scent, perfume in her hair, scented body wash, a lotion, almost any little touch of feminine scent (as long as it is not over-powering) is attractive to men.  Less is more, and that goes for clothing options (choose simple yet eye-catching, pleasing and feminine options instead of overwhelming styles that are merely outrageous).  You don’t want to look like a Lady Gaga spectacle, a few well chosen pieces that work together are best for an outfit to win men’s attention.  Less is more is a give-in when it comes to scent.  If they can smell you coming, 😉 it is too much!

Mannerism

This is a great, vast, exciting topic because women can work on and develop how they want to present themselves.  Most men best respond to a woman who is vivaciously happy.  Joyful, cheery, and playfully confident, unafraid of teasing him.  The single Christian girl that thinks these behaviors are too forward would do well to remember that flirtation with boys is not a sin!  It bewitches boys, and if used well, can catch you the man of your dreams.

So what are mannerisms when it is boiled down to it?  It encompasses using her facial expressions, basically being confident and joyful enough to use them, and use them without hesitation.  It is charming & endearing to men to show your vulnerability in wearing your emotions on your sleeve, it brings out an innate protectiveness in their soul, so that they can’t help but be drawn to you.  The way a girl uses her eyes (big time), is described well in The Fascinating Girl

One part of the feminine manner that you can always depend upon to win the notice of men is the eyes.  This does not mean an old-fashioned fluttering of the eyes and a blush behind a fan, as was considered charming in colonial days.  Nor does it mean a sexy “coy” glance.  The charming manner of using the eyes is a form of timorousness, as was described int he chapter on feminity.  The method is the following: When you see a man whom you want to notice you, try to get his attention by looking at him.  As soon as he looks at you, when you catch his glance, look directly into his eyes for a moment.  After a few seconds, lower your eyes or look to the side.  A longer look is far too aggressive and can even be vulgar, but a brief look is feminine.

Win his attention, use your feminine charms. 😉

(Image from The Great Gatsby)

Oscars Hair Critique -Male Perspective (Short vs. Lobs & Long Hairstyles)

One of the fun things of watching the Oscars with a male who isn’t afraid to voice his opinions, is getting what some men truly think of when it comes to women’s looks.  It’s obvious that looks and beauty fade, but it is quite amazing to see how people age differently, and what things contribute to (or take away from) their attractiveness as they age.  Hands down the most noticeable factors were their hairstyles, and their makeup.

A woman’s hair is her greatest accessory.  One of the most basic things my father taught me, and something the beauty industry has capitalized on for years now.  Even biblically, a woman’s hair is said to be “her glory.”  And as every woman knows, the feeling one has after an incredible hairstyle, cut, or color is a feeling of radiance – like you’re on top of the world.  Why?  Because it adds infinitely to a woman’s beauty to have attractive, gorgeous hair.

I’m not trying to say that long hair is always the most attractive, because attractive hair is much more complicated than mere length.  Healthy hair, vibrant color, full-bodiedness – all these things are what makes a woman’s hair add to her attractiveness, but typically fade with age.  It was clear to us that the older women at the event had to do more to their hair in order to make it add to their overall appeal.

The most interesting thing was short (very short) hair on women who otherwise looked better with longer hair.  Men typically do not appreciate the so-called “Pixie” cut that came into fashion around Twiggy’s time (my Dad’s critique).  Very few women (with the most beautiful, pixie-like faces) can effectively pull this fashion cut off, and even then, they usually look somehow “better” with their longer locks.

Scarlett Johansson came to the event with a short, masculine hairstyle, buzzed on the sides.  An older woman can carry this look somewhat with a mature aura, however, we personally rated it as a “no-go” for Scarlett.  She still is a beautiful woman, but this cut almost distracts & detracts from her natural beauty, rather than add to it.

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Scarlett Johansson with a flattering short bob/lob hairstyle… somehow, she even radiates happiness more in this hairstyle.

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Faith Hill and her new hair (she was unrecognizable to my Dad, his initial response was shock):

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with a lob

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her classic look of longer, lighter & more vibrant hair:

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Notice how a lighter blonde & longer locks seem to diminish wrinkles and the look of aging femininity.  It’s a trick of the hair industry to have women go lighter in order to decrease the appearance of wrinkles or fine lines.

A woman’s hair is her greatest accessory, and also the one she carries wherever she goes.

How important do you think a woman’s hairstyle is?

Hair: Brunette vs. Blonde

It’s amazing what hair dye can do… aside from changing your look, hair texture (dyed hair – even if you dye one shade darker – makes your strands bigger, giving you more body and oomph in your mane!), hair color can also dictate how you’re perceived, or possibly even events that happen in your life?

Before I sound too Palm Reader Hair Reader-ish, look at what Olivia Wilde has said about her hair changes:

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Wilde on hair color + makeup:

Cosmo (Interview): Do you change your makeup with your hair color?

When you a darker brunette and have pale skin like I do, it can wash you out a bit, so learning to contour is really helpful. I think you can be a bit more bold with eye makeup to define your eyes, and the same with lip colors—you can go for dark wine colors, which I love. I was wearing one in the Revlon Colorstay Lipstick ad—the color is Backstage—and that color on my lips with my blonde hair gave it an old Hollywood feel.

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When I have really blonde hair, I usually go for a more natural look, wearing way less makeup. With red hair, I have Irish red in my cheeks that tends to reflect off of my hair color and it makes me look too ruddy, like an alcoholic, so that’s not the greatest shade for me. But that’s only one shade of red, within all of these Revlon colors there are so many shades, so I would love to try a different red, maybe a Karen Olson red.

Wilde on work options and hair:

I spent the first couple years of my career as a very blonde blonde. And then I went brunette for a role, and suddenly all my offers changed—the types of roles people approached me with totally changed. When I was really blonde, it was always like, ‘The really pretty girl,’ or ‘The sexy hot chick.’ At that point in my career, it was all lame pilots—those were the types of roles I was going for. And then, when I was on The O.C., it was like, ‘she’s punk-y!’ I had a purple streak in my hair, and I was the ‘punky girl.’

And then when I went brunette, the roles went to more, ‘She’s a waitress with a heart of gold, and a tough life,’ or ‘She’s a doctor.’ And I always wondered—would I have been offered those roles had I still been blonde? I don’t think so. I think the perception of brunettes being more intellectual persists. Even though it makes no sense! I mean, Hillary Clinton is very, very blonde! And when I went from being blonde for a long time to brunette, I felt like I was invisible, because you’d walk into a room, and nobody immediately looks at you.

When you’re blonde, it’s like you have a giant highlighter on your head; people can’t help but stare. So, it definitely changes how people think of you. And red is a very different reaction. I feel like redheads are perceived immediately to be kind of sassy and sultry, or at least uniquely… I don’t know, just a little more sassy.

 I was blonde for a long time; I’ve been bleached platinum blonde, I’ve been dark blonde, I’ve had black hair, I’ve had dark red hair…. I feel like I’ve actually done every single color, and somehow my hair hasn’t fallen out. Now, I only change it for work. I try to give it a rest, otherwise, but it still changes a lot.

Sienna Miller is gorgeous to me, but I definitely prefer her as a blonde, I’m not sure why… it just seems to fit her more.

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Glamour did an article on a poll that Pantene did of men to find out what exactly it is they notice (and love!) about a woman’s hair. Here’s what they found…

74% of men indicated that they notice women because of their hair and 44% of men surveyed said that hair is the first thing they notice about a woman, more than her clothes (26%), legs (25%), or makeup (4%).

Most men surveyed would be more likely to approach a woman at a bar with great hair than a woman wearing a low-cut shirt.

82% of men indicated that sexy hair is a key element to a woman’s overall sex appeal.

60% of men surveyed say they would rather date a woman with great hair than a woman with big breasts.

And 78% of men surveyed consider healthy hair to be a turn-on

 

Apparently, having good hair that makes you feel good is the best overall.  And if you don’t like the color, you can always change it.

Inspiration

5 Beautiful Things:

1. Braids

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BAFTA Los Angeles 17th Annual Awards Season Tea Party - Arrivals

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2. An amazing letter written from a dad to his daughter about her True Worth: http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vt86j

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3. This French Song:

4. This quote:

“True beauty radiates not from outer cosmetics, but from the simple joy of making a difference for those that need your voice, passion, and time without expecting or wanting anything in return…”
―     Deborah Barnes

5. I frequently visit a shop called Z Gallerie for inspiration when it comes to home design and color.  Last time we went I took some pictures to give you the vibe of the incredible shop, complete with mini art gallery on the side of it.  Their official website: http://www.zgallerie.com/

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 It’s so beautiful

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Many paintings

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I fell in love with this one.

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They always use florals… in the best way.

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Beautiful ideas

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This chair and the surroundings.

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A more masculine mirrored look.

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