What Makes a Good Mother?

motherhood

With my pregnancy with boy #2 well on its way at 20 weeks this weekend, and my husband’s and my anniversary being today, 7 years of learning and growing together ❤ , motherhood has been on my mind a lot lately.  My husband is working a difficult schedule from afternoon into late at night; he’s gone right after lunch, and comes home long after our son’s been asleep.  This means that our adorable son only gets to see his dad in the morning, and loves to push the limits with me in the afternoons and evenings – often driving me insane. 🙂  This also means that I appreciate my husband all the more for how much he really contributes to child-rearing, and helping me with household chores!

The frustration has made me realize the importance of really being a good mother – a consistent, patient, loving, and caring mother – even when you are pregnant, tired, moody, and your little son is realizing he can get away with more when dad’s not around!  I have to constantly remind myself that the pregnancy is why I feel exhausted and extremely low energy, and that my son still needs me to be the best mom I can possibly be right now, regardless.  I’m glad I have my own models of motherhood to look up to – my own mother, and various other women who were so supportive and unselfish for the only sake of the children under their care or around them.

Its a beautiful and challenging model of motherhood for me, and of trying to be better at all of it, for his well-being.

 

Here are some character traits I was thinking about early this morning, things I want to focus on more and develop my inner being’s muscles in:

 

To be truly attune to my son – interested in him and everything he is doing and telling me.  To really listen to him and his concerns, his adorable thoughts, and most importantly, his questions.  He asks the most interesting and deep questions about life for a child who just turned 4 years old this summer.  He’s so intelligent and understands things beyond I’m sure, what I understood at that age.

To make bedtime like it used to be – before I was lacking energy, moody, and pregnant.  I’ve always thought that bedtime was the best time to have one last impact on your child’s day – to get last words in of counsel, or assurance, and a last attempt at praying and leaving them with spiritual guidance.  Even reading to them (which has always been part of our bedtime routine) simply shows them how much you VALUE them as people in their own right.  Without my husband being there for support and literal “back-up,” bedtime has been rushed and stressful at best, and tumultuous at worst!  I’m amending this… bedtime is supposed to be peaceful, reassuring, and that last push for connection and love that can last a lifetime of remembrance for my son.

To be kind, even when tantrums are at their peak and I’m thoroughly exhausted from what seems like endless confrontations. 🙂  He is the most assertive little one I know – whereas my husband and I are both extremely easy going people, our son (at this age at least) is definitely more head strong, and takes more energy to constantly explain and discipline.  Even though he may be harder in this one way, I wouldn’t have him any different, he is so wonderful and is such a complex mixture of tender-hearted sweetness.

There are so many other wonderful traits to mention, to be caring, honest with him, supportive, affectionate, lovingselfless, being strong (having strength to endure times like my husband’s schedule), having great humor, creativity to ease stress, ingenuity, and stability no matter our circumstances or my cocktail of pregnancy hormones.  🙂

When a Little Weight Goes a Long Way: Can Body Image Issues Ruin My Marriage?

“She hates it when i look at her while she is naked, or nearly so.  I cannot help it, I love to see her like that.  The thing is that she is not comfortable with her body, she did gain weight during this pregnancy; and she always has a hard time taking/keeping weight off.  I don’t care about that, I will love her; I made that commitment 7 years ago.  She still makes me want her, and I wonder if she feels the same.  Does anyone know how to ask a significant other if they still find you attractive? If so, please inform me. Seriously.”  (A Worm’s Life, blogger)

This post is about body image issues… I think I can say that every woman, to some degree, probably has a touch of it, and has to work to overcome it, but it can be especially bad after having a baby – to the point where it interferes with intimacy.  When we gain all that weight during pregnancy, we don’t feel attractive; and when it’s hard or slow-coming to get that weight off, it can mess with our minds and ruin our confidence in the bedroom.

Your husband doesn’t care, he thinks you look amazing.

Let that sink in for a little while.

Unless you’ve let yourself go and don’t care about your looks or how much you gain, your husband isn’t going to have a problem with a little extra weight.  It’s all in our minds that it makes us unattractive.

“I don’t care about that, I will love her.”

“She still makes me want her.”

And about wanting to see her naked, “I cannot help it, I love to see her like that.”

This is honestly what nearly every husband is thinking when their wives have body image issues.  He loves her, he doesn’t care that she has extra baby weight – only that it prevents her from sharing her body with him.

Men need to see their wives naked – they relish it, and often replay it several times during the day when they’re bored. 

You are your husband’s only sexual outlet, that’s too big of a responsibility to let self-consciousness get in the way!

Some ideas for having a better body image:

  • Workout at least a few times a week – studies have proven that if you are exercising regularly, you are going to be much happier about your body, even if the changes aren’t visible yet, you’ll feel better & stronger & healthier
  • Stand naked in front of a mirror and thank God for all the positive things about yourself – everything that you consider beautiful or attractive, body parts and personality traits – realize His amazing love for you, and don’t let yourself think any negative thoughts- thank God for the struggle with body image, there’s something powerful in thanking Him for things that bother us, we accept it as a way to change to grow

 

Rainy Day Boots

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We love the rain!  A few weeks ago, it was raining for a couple of days… being stuck inside the house is never fun… so we went out when it stopped for awhile.  Water was still running off the roof so my son grabbed his old rain boots that don’t really fit anymore, and tried to catch water in them. 

It made for an adorable photo opp!