Why I Wear My Hair Long… Even with a Baby

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I know this is a sensitive subject (anything to do with a woman’s beauty is a sensitive subject lol) and this is a personal choice… but women who wear their hair down are almost universally perceived as feminine and alluring.  Hair is such a gift God’s given us to enhance our natural beauty.  And it is one of the main things men find sexy or attractive about a woman.  It’s her hair.

It’s normal in America for married women to either cut their hair short after kids, or just always wear it up. this isn’t so in many areas of Europe or even some other Eastern cultures where even older women wear their hair long.  As a result, I’ve read reports from men who have traveled to these areas, that they are AMAZED how sexy and beautiful even the older women are.  And it’s LARGELY because of 1) their attractive slender shapes and 2) their HAIR!

I’ve written about this hair topic a few years before when Dr. Laura described it as American (or Western culture women) having something called “frump syndrome.”  Even reading it, it just sounds scary!  It’s when women stop wearing makeup and always wear their hair up (hardly ever styled) and generally don’t care how they’re dressing now that they’re either 1) married, or 2) a stay at home mom with little kids or babies.  It’s pretty common, especially the hair thing.  It’s also really unattractive 😦 especially to men.

I think most women do this unconsciously.  They fall into a routine of always putting their hair up in a pony tail or bun and never think about how much better (more feminine) they’d look if they put more effort into wearing their hair down.  If you’re married, it’s selfish to never care about the way you wear your hair, or to start dressing frumpy just because you’re a stay at home mommy.  I know that sounds harsh, but you don’t see working women dressing the way us stay at home moms tend to (ouch!).  It’s because they know their workplace and their boss has higher standards of appearance.  Well, turns out most husbands also want to see you putting effort into your hair, makeup and clothes, even if you stay home with the kids.  To me this all makes sense… if a woman puts effort to look nice when she goes out for other people (or her own self-respect) of course she should put in effort on a daily basis for her husband who sees her at home.  It’s a major sign of disrespect to never put an effort into making yourself look more feminine or beautiful, even while staying at home.  And the BIGGEST contributing factor to a woman’s femininity is arguably, her hair.

It’s our most powerful “accessory.” 😉 ❤

For many women, it takes more work to wear your hair down, which is why they probably don’t do it.  I have to make sure it’s styled because my hair has insane body and sometimes frizz and doesn’t tend to look great when I just wake up.  So it takes a little bit of effort – not even that much though, like 5-10 minutes depending on the day, but my  husband is CRAZY about it when I wear it long and flowing.  And compliments me on it frequently.

Just this morning he walked in when I happened to be changing… my long hair was falling down over my breasts, and he was taken aback for a moment watching me… and called me his Lady Godiva!  ❤

He loves it, and he notices it all the time.  But the truth is… he wouldn’t even SEE how long it is if I always wore it up daily when working around the house.  He (and I!) would be missing out a big part of my feminine beauty if I selfishly daily hid my hair away from him.  It’s the little things that tend to enhance the romance in a marriage, and this is just one of the many “little things,” in my opinion.

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Even Prince George likes to get in on the action!

With a baby, I get it, it’s easier to put it up, but don’t put it up all the time, even if you do have a baby.  Put up with a little hair pulling 😉  I’m going through this right now, literally lol with my 4 month old.  You can teach them not to pull it so much.  And your husband will appreciate seeing you looking more feminine and beautiful – showing him you care about his desire to see you that way.

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Mommy, you just look SO beautiful!  Me HAS to stroke and grab your pwetty hair!

And obviously for doing chores, it needs to be out of the way so you don’t get frustrated and ca see what you’re doing.  But for things like carrying the baby around, breastfeeding, making some snacks or lunches (where you’re hair is less likely to be in the way) try wearing it down and see how much more feminine you feel.

Try a challenge and wear it down mostly for the next week.  If you’re guilty of always wearing it up for comfort and not having to mess with it, this will probably be hard for you at first to get used to.

This also means you’ll have to spend some time to make it look actually presentable, because just wearing it down if it’s not clean, brushed, or at least styled, won’t have the same “beautiful” and feminine effect for you or your husband.

If it’s frizzy and wild, this means you’ll need to put in the time and effort to make it look nice when down.  You probably wore it down a lot when you were dating right?

Don’t go to the Frumpside.

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Good Morning Sunshine!

Try wearing it down.

Stephanie

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The Pain of Husbands

I don’t know why, but I understand men – at least, I feel like I do. When we were first married we joined a marriage class with our church that met Wednesday nights. It was an eye-opening experience. It gave us a look at marriage at it’s different stages – it was for “young married couples,” so usually they’d been married under 10 years. I’ll never forget the way I saw some of those women treat their husbands in that class – it was actually repulsive to me. Some that had only been married a year, already had major disrespect and communication issues. One woman complained bitterly about her husband (who was sitting right there!) concerning little things like the disdain of the mere thought of her waking up early to make his lunch – why should she? He leaves so early? Meanwhile he’s working hard and faithfully to support her so that she could stay at home with their children. LOL.
We didn’t stay in that class. Here’s a tidbit, or insight into the real pain a man might feel when he’s married, no matter how tough his exterior appears. Men are people, they have feelings.

“I hear many of the calls from women who sound so much like my wife. Their disdain for their obligations to their husbands is far too familiar. It is agonizing to listen and to know that I live with the indifference of a woman just like those callers.
I can’t describe the frustration, depression, and finally, the utter despair that is the result of twenty-four years of neglect. I can’t do justice to the efforts that I have made to salvage a relationship that should be the cornerstone of our family, but is instead a millstone around my neck. I can’t explain to you the progression from loving and nurturing husband, through concerned and understanding spouse, to frustrated and repressed male, and angry, depressed curmudgeon, all the way to desperate wretch.
Just know that you must write this book. If you can save just one family, you must write this book.”
(from The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands)

“The spirit of a man can endure his sickness,
But as for a broken spirit who can bear it?”
Proverbs 18:14

“Never, never break another person’s spirit. You will lose him! You will lose her! Don’t ever make your mate – or anyone else – the brunt of your jokes. Never ridicule. Never mock. Be very, very careful with barbed humor. Your words, so lightly spoken, may remain in an individual’s soul until his or her dying day.
Ridicule and mockery is cruel and kills communication. As Solomon wrote, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city” (Proverbs 18:19). If you have offended your mate or another int his way, go and ask forgiveness.”
(from A Marriage Without Regrets)

The Golden Rule applies everywhere in life, but especially in marriage. Treat your man the way you want to be treated. If you want to be romanced, try romancing him… men love to be romanced even though you wouldn’t normally think it.
Here’s a list of things that are great to show your appreciation to your hard working husband:

-Make love to him regularly
-Pack his lunches for work
-Make sure you make his favorite dishes sometimes
-Don’t neglect your appearance
-Put him first, above your children, he is your other half, not them, and when they leave you (which they are supposed to do) you want to still have a connection with him
-Surprise him with a kid-napping where you plan ahead to whisk him away to a weekend hotel/bed and breakfast – just for the two of you
-Don’t neglect date nights

In general, be a kind person. Don’t be the one who is sweet before marriage, and then turns into a different woman after the ring is on her finger. Be good to your man.