Last Baby Arrives with a Bang!

family picture 2

We’re finally home, the baby surprised everyone and decided to come (much to our dreading it) on of all the days available between full term and 40 weeks, Leap Year day. 😀


It happened the way my Dr thought it would, by me contracting so hard that my water broke, and the baby had to come out whether we were ready or not! The contractions were coming so fast, 3 minutes apart by the time the Dr got there, and getting pretty intense, the c section felt almost like an emergency. And of course they don’t want you pushing it out due to uterine rupture risk, so needless to say, it was an intensely scary and rushed experience.


I mean I was having a huge contraction at the same time the anesthesiologist was putting in the epidural!!!!

I’m thankful though, that we made it.  I’m thankful we didn’t have him in a car!  But there’s no getting around that it was intense. Even after our cutie was born, I don’t think I was able to feel relief until later sometime the next day.

There wasn’t as much scar tissue this time, but my Dr said my bladder had attached itself to the upper part of my uterus due to the more recent scar tissue from the last pregnancy growing.  And just in case women who haven’t had kids yet are reading this, you really want to avoid c-sections if possible.  It wasn’t possible for me.  Our first wouldn’t have likely survived if it hadn’t been an emergency c-section, so it’s just the way life played out.  But if you can avoid it, do so!  There’s no telling where my bladder will end up this time 😂

I love the hospital I delivered at (for 3 out of 4 babies)!  It feels more like staying at a resort, they even have good food LOL and a free postnatal massage!  Just quite a nice experience for after giving birth!  It was actually kind of fun in a way 😀  My parents came to the hospital every night and made me laugh for hours.  My dad ensured I had enough chocolate… LOL  I think he may have gone just a tad overboard though!!!!  LOL


It’s been a bit more painful of a recovery than normal in the first 2 days, and it was suggested that it may have been all that separating of the bladder from my uterus and such. 


But other than that, it’s been a great recovery!!  I’m up and walking around and not feeling ANY pain at times – and this is coming from pain so intense I vomited (never had it this intense before – but that was earlier on)….   Just yesterday morning, after the pain meds wore off, I didn’t even notice it and went a few more hours not realizing I should have taken a pain blocker. This usually happens though, for some reason my body doesn’t need the pain meds at all around day 4-5. That was day 4.  So hopefully it just gets better from here. Breastfeeding is always painful at the beginning, but that works itself out after a few weeks of baby learning to latch and mom adjusting to baby’s feeding style.


Day 5 postpartum – up and feeling great… if feeling great includes being like a zombie!


My husband wanted to surprise me while I was in the hospital, and put up this design in our window – so sweet!  It looks like stain glass in person!

I’m very grateful God gave me this weird ability to not feel the pain as much (usually) and pop back up right after giving birth.  It IS weird, but it is VERY appreciated.  I know this sounds odd, but it’s always reminded me of the Hebrew women described in Exodus (even though maybe the maids were exaggerating a little bit), we are part Jewish so who knows?


I won’t be posting much, other than re-blogs I find enriching, just mostly reading stuff that’s both hilarious and/or uplifting 😀 sometimes both!


Feeling Like We Live in a Barn!

This past few weeks have flown by so fast!  So much has happened and it’s felt like a whirlwind.  Between my husband achieving a huge goal he’s set his sights on for a few years ❤ and then going to one of our beloved Lieutenant’s retirement parties *tear*, and going to a Fourth of July wedding, and making a road trip to see family… it’s been a little crazy.

And… we’ve added two new furry members of our family!

On top of that, a few weeks ago a baby dove fell out of it’s nest and onto my husband’s car.  He luckily saw it before work, came back inside to tell me to get it, and we managed to take care of it for a few weeks until it could fly.  We’ve had over TWENTY animals come through our house, obviously almost 100% we’ve rehabilitated and found homes for… but this time I wondered “how do they find us?!?!”

My husband loves to tease me that I’m like some disney character who calls to the animals and they all come to her!  I swear I’m not doing this!!!!

It was so sweet hand-feeding a baby bird, having it practice flying to all of our heads 😀 and watching it grow up so much!  The boys named him “Walle,” from the robot movie LOL, and wow did he ever have a big, funny personality.

This past week we gave it to a Wildlife Rescue Center in our city where they introduced it to other birds and allowed it to fly in an aviary until it was able to be re-released.  White winged doves usually find a mate and stick with them for life, so hopefully our little Walle finds his lifetime partner. ❤

First picture above was when we first found him, he was mostly all pin-feathers!  He was SO tiny, and seemed very fragile.  Second picture is when he’s a little older and more fluffed out.

He loved to be close and cuddle with us!  Everything I read about these birds when we were figuring out how to care for him said that they belong in the wild and not with people, but he seemed to love living the life of domestication!  Honestly, it was so much fun taking care of him.  He was sweet, bossy, funny, and affectionate 🙂 just a very cute baby dove.


The wedding we went to was very intimate and beautiful, we felt honored to be invited.  They are both on the more introverted side, and this sweet wedding was probably the most romantic wedding I’ve ever been to.




Then we went on a short road trip to visit family and let the boys do fireworks at night.  I never thought I’d be one of those women who carry little dogs in their purse, but this was SO much fun lol!!

I carried them around in this over-sized purse as much as I could to get them used to it, and they really seemed to like it as they were able to be close and go everywhere I went.  It was so cute, too, definitely had to get some pictures!!!

They’re cute, even if they’re blurry lol!

It was a fun trip, and the boys got to do fireworks for the first time.



It was so exciting!!!  I loved watching their dad and Grandpa teach them how to do this.



The sparklers were the easiest.  Our toddler did try to grab the hot end after it went out, but Grandpa managed to catch his hand before the little one grabbed it.  He did barely swipe it though and had a little pain on one tip of his finger (thank God!), but no burn or anything serious.


It was some serious fire-power though!


The big ones were legit scary for me!!  My husband handled those by himself and they were amazing!




My husband shooting one of the Roman Candles (I think?) into the sky.


It’s been a fun few weeks!  We’ve had lots of things going on, lots of animals in and out it seems… kind of feeling like we live in a barn 🙂  And that’s ok.


Is Being a “Keeper of the Home” Unhealthy & Bad for Children?

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5


What is the purpose and value of a wife that keeps her home well, and sets an example of godly womanhood for her children?

I believe the value of a wife who chooses to focus on her husband and children as the most important people in her life, a mother who creates a wonderful place of peace and serenity for her family, is beyond riches and any success one can find on their own, pursuing their own fulfillment.

Fathers are equally important in their different role and purpose for the family, and there is certainly a time and place to argue the importance of fathers in a feminist society that tries to diminish our need for them and erase the beauty of masculinity.

But I want to focus on mothers today, the various pressures we feel to succumb to what society wants or thinks is best for our families, and encourage women to know their value and worth to their husbands and children in fulfilling that glorious and high calling that is a wife and mother.

Being a wife and mother is such an honor, but ironically, I think we as moms tend to struggle with it feeling much less like an “honor,” and much more of an overwhelming responsibility that we’re failing at.  With a world that tells us that we’re not fulfilled unless we’re making money, or “doing something productive” with our time, it’s no wonder we don’t feel as though we’re doing something of value at times, especially, for the mother who stays at home with her children.

This is for the mothers that feel like they’re failing, discouraged, or overwhelmed.

Your work you’re doing right now is so productive!

It is so important!

And if we do it with a willing, cheerful attitude, it will make a lasting impression on our children!

Raising our children, being available for them when they need something, playing with them, being cheerful and having fun with them… is productive!

Managing a household, helping our husbands be ready and at their best for work, helping our kids to be ready and at their best for school, all the multitude of tasks that go into making sure these things go smoothly and everyone is taken care of (including ourselves!) is productive!


“God wants to help you make your life a place of order, peace, and serenity.  

You are helping shape the lives of your children by everything you do and say.  

The job of a mother is a high and holy calling.”

-Elisabeth Elliot

Some things we can all be reminded of in this journey of motherhood:

  • We teach our children by your example, we can’t require them to have qualities in their character that we ourselves don’t have a handle on
  • Self discipline – are we spending our time wisely, limiting computer time so that we can get more important work done?  Are we neglecting our work or be available to our children
  • Restraint – I think as mothers, we have to learn the art of restraint, of not giving in to every emotion or word we want to say.  Our words, when we’re tired or overwhelmed, have the potential to greatly harm our husband and our children.  Being women of restraint, only saying things that build up and are good for those who hear, is part of the santification process of motherhood and wifery.
  • Submission – Are we submitting to our husbands?  How do you speak to your husband?  Do you honor him in the way you treat him?  Do you go out of your way to treat him with respect?  Do you do things he requests you to do and do them with a good attitude?


Additional Reading to encourage you:

Thoughts from mothers who wish they could stay home

Homemaking when it’s hard

Christian women shouldn’t be careerists


This is not an article trying to diminish the work women are able to do outside the home.  I definitely believe a mom who also needs to be in the workforce in addition to her role as a mother, is still a homemaker and a “keeper of the home.”  It does become harder, though, to balance and organize life around a job or career and proper care and supervision of small children.

Letters of Thanks

Back in October 2013, I decided to start a small blog to post ideas, thoughts, and advice on beauty, health, fitness, dating, cooking, fashion, marriage, sex, and parenting.  It was a supposed to be a very tiny venture, meant for mostly myself, to have one place where all my thoughts were collected.  And now has become a blog that has over 100,000 views since I started 2 years ago this month.  I don’t know what’s in store for it, I don’t think it will ever become super popular thankfully, but it’s been fun to write out my thoughts and ideas.  I’ve often felt like I’ve learned more from some of my commentators, and so I thank you readers who have spent the time to either comment or email me your thoughts or your own advice on topics or post ideas.

For a long time, I hesitated to add “Spiritual Growth” to my blog because I felt like I still had so much growth to do in that department, and didn’t want to come across as knowing much about it.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe one can know a lot about something like theology or religion, but that doesn’t mean they have a good grasp of how to apply it in their daily lives.  So anything I say on spiritual growth has usually come from after a long time (even a year or more) of thinking on it, trying to figure out the pieces and how they fall together, and so, I usually don’t write about the things I experience immediately, but occasionally do if I feel there is a good lesson there.

But over these two years, I’ve received quite a few comments thanking me for the posts or the blog in general… these things really humble me, that anyone reads my blog at all, when I just started it as something very modest and only for myself, blows my mind.  But thank you to my readers who take the time to leave comments or emails – they really are encouraging.  ❤

One of my favorite emails, from a police officer in Virginia:

“Hi there,

Thank you for writing encouraging things about your family.  I found your blog from a link on the forums (it’s a motorcycle touring website) in an off-topic (for the forum) discussion about Red Pill Theory of male/female relationships.  They were complimentary of you.

I’m not quite sure what draws me to discussions about males and females, but I read about it a lot.  The evidence would show that it touches a nerve in me somewhere. I’m not a victim of bad relationships, my parents are still married, my wife’s parents are still married, and my wife and I are mostly traditional.  She’s glad I’m a man and I’m glad she’s a woman.  We’re certainly behind the curve on being trendy or progressive, and we’re not complaining.  We’ve been married over 17 years.  Still, I feel like somewhere deep in my mind is a narrative that “manly” is a synonym for “dumb, of little use,  irrelevant” or even “threatening, harmful”.  I perceive, rightly or wrongly, that the importance of men is diminished and derided.

I’ve worked as a police officer for over 16 years, and I end up getting snapshots of many bad relationships.  Though no professional has ever made it official, I believe staring at depravity and realizing that I have no authority to do anything about relational patterns that take decades to do their damage has led to struggling with depression at times, yet feeling no energy to get out of what I do for a living.  Faith has helped on that front, but I still get distracted while someone’s complaining to me about their ex-(fill in the blank) when I notice the blank-faced looking 5 year old 10 feet behind the complainer and can’t help thinking “This is burning into that little brain.  I wish I could explain that this is not an aspirational way of life, that needing the police to intervene in your personal relationships is a symptom of a bigger problem.”

So, when I read things such as you write, I’m relieved.  Not only do you appreciate men and women for being men and women, you love them, too.  I am impatient for Jesus to come back and fix everything that’s wrong, and staring at all of the problems causes me grief.  So, when I read your take and see your appreciation for your husband and kids, I feel great relief that somewhere out there is a family that loves each other.  By writing you this note, I hope to encourage you to know that you are helping people you don’t even know (who doesn’t love feedback?).  Thanks so much for your thoughts, and, truly, best wishes to you and your family.

Jim in Virginia

And more from Jim in another email,

“Yes, my favorite aspect of your thoughts is your “tone”.  So much of the discussion about gender seems generated out of anger or hurt towards the opposite gender.  So much of the learning stems from painful experiences and retaliatory strikes at the offenders.  It doesn’t even seem popular these days to say that you like being married; it seems much more prevalent to list the annoying things (complain) about your spouse. Therefore, it’s remarkable (noteworthy?) when there are voices who appreciate the strengths of both and who seek to edify both of them.  It’s unusual (wow, it shouldn’t be) and, bummer, you may not qualify for a Reality TV show because harmony doesn’t sell commercials or newspapers.  There is no profit in everyone getting along.

Yet,  the foundation you two are giving your kids, the “safety” of your relationship and their home… as they grow older, you will be amazed at the problems they DON’T have just because you two love each other well.  I believe it’s a big part of doing the Lord’s work. My opinion is that we don’t even realize how important, significant,and eternal it really is.  It’s really a great thing.  Thanks for being salt and light.

Okay, getting rambly here.  Go love the world by loving your husband and kids.  I pray you receive much joy in your work!



It was the most beautiful day yesterday to be outside!  We spent a lot of time during the afternoon in the garden, getting dirty, removing more weeds, putting down some top soil in places that needed it. We’ve had a couple of weeks of rainy days off and on, sometimes with the occasional flood warning.  When it rains… it pours here, so we were more than happy to experience a bright, sunny day.  Even as I write looking out into our patio & backyard, the rain has returned yet again overnight, bringing with it a deep gray color, as everything looks damp and darkened, with only the greenery of the grass and plants heightened – the silver lining to the dark clouds.  It is incredible how diverse one day can be from another.


Another rainy day… at least it makes the sunny days all the more bright.


I was thinking this week on the topic of friendships, what constitutes a good friendship, and what the balance really is between telling a friend how it is (for their good) and putting them down.  Where is the line between healthy competition between genuine friends and then competition where one seeks to sabatoge the other’s success?

What is a frenemy?  It is a difficult definition for sure… and I’ve honestly never wanted to keep such an oxymoron in my life.  Some may say, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” but I’ve found that philosophy to be a set up for back-stabbing and major disappointment.  A person who desires, or who constantly plays the role, of being your “enemy,” really has no valid place in your life right now, and certainly not in your future.  I’ve always held the position that “frenemies” should also see the door as soon as possible in one’s life.

What is a friend?

Someone who supports you in life, who is there for you.  Someone who is joyful when they see you celebrating a real success in your life.  I recently had a close friend try to shame me for posting on social media (and here on my personal blog) about my journey in weight loss after the baby, trying to teach other women how it can be done, to encourage them to not gain over the recommended weight from the doctors, and to provide my personal workout routine and advice for how I was able to lose the weight… twice!  Instead of being happy for me like most of my other friends, this girl felt upset when she saw my post… instead of sharing in my joy, she felt negative feelings inside that were her own.  “It doesn’t help” to see someone lose it fast,” she said, and insinuated that I’m shaming the women who can’t lose the baby weight for whatever reason.  We talked about it for about an hour, and eventually I learned her insecurity over my success was coming from her mother telling her growing up that she and her sister were the reasons she had excess weight – that having children ruined her body forever.  She was viewing my success through a lens of fear & scarcity mentality, a false premise that people can’t control what happens to their bodies regarding pregnancy weight gain/loss.  The truth is that we can control the majority of what happens to our bodies, pregnancy or otherwise.  We control what we eat, if we are eating the correct foods that our bodies react well to, how much we gain, and even our hormones can be controlled when they are out of whack.  We control how much weight we gain in pregnancy, and we control if we decide to exercise during it or not.  We control how fast we lose the weight afterwards, and in no small part, that is directly related to how we treated our bodies during the pregnancy as well.

There does need to be caution that we aren’t causing people to stumble, but losing baby weight after a pregnancy is something most people are proud of, and rightfully so!  It is hard work, and takes dedication through either having a very healthy-minded pregnancy, making sure your body is staying strong, or doing the hard work of getting back in shape afterwards.  I already know what I’m going to do for my next pregnancy in regards to controlling my weight and strength and health in general.  With each pregnancy it gets easier because I have more knowledge of what works for my body, and how my body responds.  I’m able to draw up a plan in my mind of how I’m going to better deal with the difficulties next time, because each time I learn something new.

A big part of my success in things like losing the baby weight, or parenting kindly or gently, is making sure I surround myself with friends who are supportive of my goals, and with me in my journey of life.  I learn from other mommy friends what worked for them, or we share how hard pregnancy is – how hard it is to just get yourself off the couch, let alone try to go for a walk or a run!  One mommy friend I have was running regularly up until the very day that she went into labor – and hearing her share that success, filled me with awe and joy for her!  Her success motivated and inspired my own success.  That is a good friendship.

When it comes down to it, we all have to make critical decisions of who we really want to hold close in our lives.  Do you want that person to be close, who cannot share joy when you lose your baby weight fast?  Or who makes rude comments about your furniture mismatching in your house, and then turns around and pretends that she is Miss Etiquette and tries to teach you how to behave when you’re her guest?  Do you really want someone that two-faced close to your heart, where they can conveniently stab it?

My answer is always no.

Friends are not your enemies, and they never should be.

Kids & Bad Attitudes

This morning, we were getting back into the swing of things of doing school in the morning for my 4 year old son.  I’d made bean and cheese tacos for breakfast, beautiful music was playing softly in the background, that sweet coffee aroma filled the house, and the sunlight was shining through the gray clouds, gently lighting up our sun room/classroom area.  It felt like the perfect Spring morning.

We love Spring.  We love celebrating the Jewish holiday, Purim, where it is remembered how one brave woman, a Jewish girl who became the Persian Queen Esther, saved all the Jews in Persia.  We love how our crazy city celebrates St. Patrick’s day by dumping gallons of green dye into our river…


But this morning, my son was not ready to come back from break.  He didn’t want to practice writing, and he became frustrated with himself when he would try to write with a dry erase marker and mess up because it was writing “too fat.”  He eventually stopped, folded his arms, made the cutest face of disgust and anger & decided to sulk.  Ironically, he’d stopped in frustration when he only had one last letter to write as part of his practice words.

Aren’t we all a little (or a lot) just like that?

We give up in frustration, or become easily angry when something minor goes wrong and decide to sulk for the rest of the time.  Even while enjoying a perfect serene morning, one little frustration can pollute our entire outlook and attitude in life.

After I motivated him to finish that one last letter, I decided to impose a break so that we could learn about Joseph.

Dear Joseph.  That sweet boy who bragged too much, he was the 2nd youngest child, with 10 older brothers – all of whom had a mother whom their father loved less than his own.  He was the special & favored child, along with his younger sibling, because they were born from the wife Jacob really desired and loved.  To make matters worse, his father decided to give him a special coat – a brightly colored symbol of how much more he loved Joseph than the rest of his children.

His brothers despised him because of this, and hearing him brag about the dreams God was giving him sent them over the edge – they plotted to kill him and make it look like an accident.  They threw him into a well, decided to say an animal had killed him, and ended up selling their brother into Egyptian slavery.

While I was relaying these events to my son I asked him if he thought Joseph had a bad attitude at what God had allowed to happen to him, and he said yes.  How could Joseph not?  This young, coddled boy, never used to being without, the favored child of his father, suddenly betrayed so abruptly that he found himself at the bottom of the totem pole in the slave trade.  He’d more than likely never worked a day of hard labor in his life, and now he would be solely valued based on his ability to work & labor for the rest of his life.

But Joseph… that sweet young man, didn’t.  He didn’t let his circumstances dictate his choice of how he would respond.  He decided to become the best slave.  He was so faithful, so trustworthy, and such a dedicated worker, that his owner, Captain of the guard Potiphar, decided to make him preside over everything he owned!

Then enter Potiphar’s wife.  It was the classic set-up of the bored housewife and the hired hand.  Joseph had grown up to be “handsome & built,” he was not only intelligent and good-looking, he was now rough and masculine.  She wanted him to be with her – but he would never be with a married woman, let alone the wife of the very man who trusted him with everything he had.  I admire Joseph so much, he could have easily rationalized that having his master’s wife on the side would’ve made up for the injustice of what had happened to him in life.

But he didn’t.

He chose to have integrity, and he paid dearly for it.  She accused him of harming her (child’s version – you know she accused him of false-rape), and Joseph lost everything he had built for himself – his reputation, work ethic, the trust of Potiphar, and he was thrown into jail as a prisoner who had raped an official’s wife.

He went from being a treasured & pampered son, to a slave whose only value was based on what he could do, to a prisoner and forever remembered sex offender.  I explained to my son how even when we do the right thing, we can still be punished and have to suffer because of it.  But did being a prisoner and convicted rapist let Joseph give in to having a bad attitude?

No.  Joseph rose up the ranks within the prison to become the Prison Guard.  He went from being held behind the bars to being the man who held the keys to the others’ freedom.  His attitude, his integrity and trust in God gave him power to rise above his circumstances. Joseph still chose to keep a good attitude, and it showed in the way people reacted to him.

I didn’t go on, even though Joseph’s whole story is truly inspiring, this 5 minute break was enough to shift my son’s thinking – he was genuinely in awe of Joseph and his attitude.  My son’s entire outlook changed, we prayed and he went over to his little brother and hugged him.  And I read him this last verse:

“Even if you should suffer for what is right,

you are blessed.

‘Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.'”

1 Peter 3:14

Those People Who Choose

I had a conversation with a man about how someone I knew was able to deal with having an “unfair life.”  They had gone through various circumstances where they felt that they had been almost deliberately (as if, by fate, or worse, by God) been dealt a bad hand.  Unfairness.  When we feel like justice has truly been betrayed.  When we ourselves have felt betrayed.  When we experienced or watched injustice in action, play out right in front of us, and were unable to make any contribution to righting the situation, but instead looked on in desperation while the events around us were .

The thing is, everyone has had a somewhat unfair life. Really. Someone’s life might seem perfect if you just look at one aspect of them, but I bet there was something or even quite a few things, that were utterly unfair. It really comes down to how we choose to deal with it for whether it makes or breaks us.

One of the greatest lessons that you or anyone will ever learn in life, is that life itself, is just not fair. That life is hard… full of problems for every person (even those who look like they’ve had it easy – I assure you, if they were asked and were honest in their answer, there would be something very dark in their past). No one gets out of life without something being ridiculously unfair. And that’s what makes great epics and legends, its the stories of those people, really any person, who chooses to do amazing things IN SPITE of their hardships or how unfair their circumstances or life was. Those are things that are remembered, and those are the people that choose to not be defeated by “unfairness,” because we’ve all had our share of it.

The Lazy Caterpillow – How To Spot a Bad Worker

ugly caterpillarI was reading a story book to my son last night for bedtime, and it happened to be a book we’d never read before (thank you, library)… it was based on Proverbs 13:4


Slackers crave but have their fill of nothing,

but the hardworking desire and are completely satisfied.


The story was about 2 caterpillows (yes… cater-pillow), one that worked and finished his cocoon on time, and the other who didn’t like to work, and never finishes his cocoon.

The Lazy Caterpillow took too many long breaks, slept when he wanted to, skipped days of work, and seemed to do everything but get to the task at hand.

When he finally sees the success and payoff of the Hard-Working Caterpillow, he is shocked, then indignant!  He hates that the Hard-Working Caterpillow became a butterfly.  He declares it isn’t fair… that he’s been robbed…and tries to blame the Successful Butterfly for his laziness.

The Lazy Caterpillow then sits on a rock and (instead of working) continues to complain about his situation, and make a multitude of excuses as to why he’s not a Successful Butterfly.

I love children’s books, I love teaching my son these important biblical lessons.  There are a lot of Lazy Caterpillows out there, and yet there are also a lot of Hard-Working Caterpillows that develop into Successful Butterflies.  The moral of the story is profound.

I’ve honestly seen many Lazy Workers, and they can really drain a program or company.

How to Spot a Bad Worker:

  • They have an attitude that suggests they hate their work – or they come out and say that they hate their work
  • They take too many breaks playing on Facebook at work, sitting in their office getting nothing productive done, spending time talking to other employees for hours instead of working on projects or filing papers
  • They take advantage of company policy.  At my last workplace our team had unofficial Compensation Time that we would use.  There was an employee who was taking classes and so would leave around lunch or just after to get to class.  Eventually they stopped coming back to work altogether, and ended up working 4 to 5 hour days on their days they had class, and never coming in on weekends or in the evenings to ever make up the time lost to the company.
  • They place blame on everything and everyone but themselves… they never take responsibility for things that go wrong or responsibilities they didn’t complete.  When I started my last job, I was given multiple notebooks of records that needed to be kept for our research studies, the person who had had this responsibility before me had never completed questions and reviews of what needed to be done to make the records up to date.
  • When they do see someone successful, they are very bitter, resentful, and think the person doesn’t deserve what they are getting

How to Spot a Good Worker:

  • They have a positive attitude about their job and work, they are grateful for their responsibilities and take great pride in getting their activities done well and on time.  It’s rare to hear a Good Worker complain.
  • They don’t take many breaks – the breaks they do take are kept reasonably short so that they can return to whatever they’re working on.  If they have no particular project, a Good Worker busies themselves with getting the mundane tasks of filing records, or even starting a new project ahead of time.
  • The understand when they make mistakes, and readily admit to them.  They see any bad decisions in retrospect and think about how they would’ve handled that situation differently.  This is big for me, I can look back at a certain situation, and see where I would’ve done things differently.  A Good Worker does this all throughout their career though, constantly evaluating paths they’ve taken and mistakes they might’ve made.
  • Good Workers abide by company policy… always!  They don’t try to take advantage of the company, but actually look for ways to benefit it in the long-run.  They aren’t afraid to push their team forward and create better ways to communicate and operate so that their team can be more productive.
  • Good Workers aren’t afraid to call foul when they see it.  Although it might not always end well for the employee who confronts their boss on their not fulfilling their responsibility to clients or sponsors, it always pays off in the long-run to hold to one’s integrity.  Good Workers have integrity.