Email Questions – Resentment, Postpartum Depression, and Happiness
I read your post in my email the other day and felt like you were a fly on our wall. I don’t want to feel angry at my husband for the little things in life, or be in what you called, “chronic unhappiness.” You hit the nail on the head when you talked about someone wanting to play the victim. I think part of why I feel so much resentment toward everyone in our house is because it’s harder to choose joy when things aren’t going as planned. It feels good to complain and get sympathy, even though I don’t want to complain about my husband. I think it can be an addiction because they give you attention if you have something to complain about, which then makes you feel good and you repeat the cycle.
It’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t even want to hear my complaints anymore, and we fight more than ever. I’m always the killjoy, and I end up going into a rage at our kids.
I know I’m hurting our family, but how can I stop this? How can I be more joyful?… CONTINUE READING
Books for Young Minds
One of the gifts we thought to give our oldest (8) this year for Christmas, was the gift of some really good classic books. We both have an intense love of books and reading, one of our favorite pastimes before we had children was to take turns reading to each other at night after the work day from our favorite books.
We want our children to hopefully share this love of books, and we think the best way to help them achieve that, is to read to them, and to read to them often.
Starting our homeschooling journey recently, I’d been trying to figure out what kinds of books to read that were fitting for him. The coursework I’d chosen was great in all other categories, except the literature suggestions unfortunately. I mean… this boy has been reading Harry Potter since age 5 in kindergarten… (CONTINUE READING)
Pricing Mother’s Day
Every year… it never fails 😉 … we on social media are bombarded with new posts or youtube videos, written by mothers (or their strangely apologetic husbands) moaning and groaning about how horrible being a mom is for them and that it “sucks” that they only get ONE day as a “break” and then proceed to complain that even that ONE day isn’t actually a “break.” They usually use words like “shitty” of course, though, lol.
Apparently, if you’re a Mom/Grandma/Aunt/etc, Mother’s Day has turned into a week-long, self-indulgent, victimhood-mode of “poor me” attitude for you to indulge in without censorship…. (CONTINUE READING)
Teach Your Children to Have a Spirit of Excellence
When studying the passage about what the virtuous wife does (Prov 31), it was clear that everything she has control over, she’s intentionally trying to achieve excellence in. Obviously that is extremely hard to achieve, and I don’t think it happens overnight or even necessarily when one is just starting out in a marriage. It takes work. It takes brutal honesty about where we are in that struggle for achieving more discipline or excellence in the work we’re doing. I don’t think we should feel intimidated by it, but instead inspired to do better in things we’re honestly failing in… (CONTINUE READING)
Raising Masculine Sons
The reason why I don’t do any posts on “Things I Want My Sons to Know” is because although I have a lot of influence over them in understanding femininity, I can’t teach them how to be men. I could never “raise masculine boys” without the constant help and wisdom of my husband…. (CONTINUE READING)
Parenting – Teaching Your Children to Use Their Gifts
Our oldest is just amazing. I know I’m his mom and so of course I’m biased… but oh my gosh, God has blessed him with many talents and gifts! He’s kind… he’s gentle… he’s a strong leader and he’s only 7 years old!!!!! Watching him is so inspiring to me to be a better mom – to be the mom he truly deserves in life (and yes, I feel like I fail constantly)! We all deal with some amount of “Mom Guilt….” (CONTINUE READING)
Pregnancy Pain & Frustration
This past couple of weeks have gotten increasingly hard around our house. I’ve made it to 37 1/2 weeks, but wow!!! I’ll just say it’s been a brutal couple of weeks and feel like I have a ways to go still. We only need to make it until next Friday (10 days), but handling two – just two!!! – active and loud kids has become embarrassingly hard now. We know several families who have many more (4, 5, 6, even one family with 9!!!). And yet here I am, struggling with only 2! I have the hardest time walking in the afternoon/evening, and had made plans in my head a few weeks earlier that once Summer started, we were going to go out everyday and have fun at a water park we’re close to, but I soon realized that all that walking, being in the heat, and not even being able to really handle well our toddler’s tantrums when I’m out, would have made those plans nearly impossible. That or they’d have possibly made the baby come early…. (CONTINUE READING)
Motherhood & Childbirth
Mother’s Day has come and gone again, and for some reason each year I just feel more and more content and happy with our life that we’re building. I’m not sure exactly why I feel more content and happy with each year, but it may have a lot to do with the growing sense of gratitude of living this life getting to watch our children grow, love my amazing husband, and maybe just getting a little bit more mature…. (CONTINUE READING)
What’s in a Name? How Important is Naming Your Child?
We all have names that our parents gave us, and they all have different reasons for choosing that specific name. Sometimes they love a specific meaning that comes from the name, other times it represents someone they loved or admired from the family, and sometimes on of our parents just thought it was pretty and sounded nice.
What is it about naming a child that is just so fascinating? To me, I loved picking out the names for our children with my husband, because of the gift it was to give them a good name, with good meanings, and a hope for their future. Being of Polish Jewish descent on my mother’s side, I specifically love the Hebrew approach of placing high value and importance on our children’s names, even if they think we’re silly for it. … (CONTINUE READING)
Is Being a Keeper of the Home Unhealthy or Bad for Children?
What is the purpose and value of a wife that keeps her home well, and sets an example of godly womanhood for her children?
I believe the value of a wife who chooses to focus on her husband and children as the most important people in her life, a mother who creates a wonderful place of peace and serenity for her family, is beyond riches and any success one can find on their own, pursuing their own fulfillment.
Fathers are equally important in their different role and purpose for the family, and there is certainly a time and place to argue the importance of fathers in a feminist society that tries to diminish our need for them and erase the beauty of masculinity…. (CONTINUE READING)
Just Do the Next Thing
Something our main Bible study leader has repeatedly told us, and that originally came from the teachings of Elisabeth Elliot, is that no matter what happens, just do the next thing.
It’s such a beautiful lesson really. It’s so easy to get distracted with worry over how we’ll get all our tasks done in the day, or what needs to happen this week, or caught up in feeling overwhelmed when our families are going through a particularly busy time.
I’ve even heard this advice applied to when we’re caught up in our own or our family’s crisis, when we wonder how we’re going to survive this heartache and feel as though we can’t go on…. (CONTINUE READING)
Teaching Our Children to Care for Others
One of the things we successfully did as a family in 2015, and that I’d like to see us do more of in 2016, is spend time showing our kids (really our oldest) how important it is to reach out to others.
It’s not enough for us to just live our lives in our relatively safe, convenient homes and neighborhoods, and think we’re good people because we love God and go to church on Sundays. If we love God, we will obey His word and proclamations of what we are to do with our time here.
God’s word announces in several places the importance of giving and caring for others, we are called to live outside ourselves constantly in His word,… (CONTINUE READING)
Teaching My Son to Be Thankful Even When He’s Sad
The day before Thanksgiving, my husband had to work late. He was set to get off early, but plans change fast for a Police Officer… he never knows what he’ll face, but he always does it bravely, and his faith and courage is like a light to us.
But my son was waiting for him to come home… he expected that his daddy would get off early so that the fun could begin. Whenever daddy is home, he and our oldest son have the greatest time playing, wrestling, and just plain being silly-heads!
But the time came, and went, and after eating another dinner by ourselves, another bath and bedtime routine by ourselves, another tucking in and praying blessing over my son, while I was praying the blessing over him, he started to cry…. (CONTINUE READING)
Cleaning with Little Ones Around the House
As a mom of two, it doesn’t surprise me that I often hear moms complain that it’s too difficult to keep a house clean with young children… I understand 😀 especially when you have little ones who delight in pulling all their clothes out of the drawers and playing with the clean laundry!… (CONTINUE READING)
Reflections on this Father’s Day
It’s hard to find words to express all the feelings I feel this coming father’s day weekend. I’m so grateful. Grateful to have a husband who is a wonderful father, who is so good with our boys, demonstrating his love for them so beautifully. He shows them what a man should look and be like, he gives them an example of what a strong husband who deeply loves (and always teases) his wife looks like. And our oldest son loves watching his example! I couldn’t be more elated with this man I chose… (CONTINUE READING)
Kids & Bad Attitudes
This morning, we were getting back into the swing of things of doing school in the morning for my 4 year old son. I’d made bean and cheese tacos for breakfast, beautiful music was playing softly in the background, that sweet coffee aroma filled the house, and the sunlight was shining through the gray clouds, gently lighting up our sun room/classroom area. It felt like the perfect Spring morning.
We love Spring. We love celebrating… (CONTINUE READING)
Kids & Boundaries
We want our kids to have a good life. As parents, we are always hoping and planning and prepping them in our instruction for a very good life – a life of success. A life of happiness. So why are so many people unhappy with their life when they grow older? What happens that makes someone with a good childhood discontent with their life after they grow up? I think one of the main reasons could be whether or not we teach our children boundaries. An easy example of a good boundary lesson is to simply listen to your child when they tell you “Stop” or “No.” I’m always kind of surprised to see parents not listen when their child asks them to stop tickling or wrestling, or to put them down & the parent stubbornly resists… (CONTINUE READING)
Dads & Sons – Leaving a Legacy
When it comes to our children, we want to be the best we can be for them – as a mother, this intention is always at the front of my mind as I try to make interactions and daily life as helpful as possible for our children to feel loved and nurtured and ready for adulthood. My husband has frequently let me know it is also something he thinks of often. It’s important to him whether he’s doing things right – being a good father, and leading our older son towards developing true masculinity in a society that tries to feminize men & say that boys are the same as girls. Raising men is a task that needs a father, a good role model… certainly someone who is able to step in (when the father is absent) to mentor a young boy or man into finding his true identity of the man God created him to be… (CONTINUE READING)
Boys’ Crisis in Society (5 Factors That Are Harming Our Future Men)
Our amazing church has been doing a great series on work – its importance and its purpose for us as Christians. Recently, our Pastor decided to talk about how to raise kids to have good work ethics, and it was during this sermon that he brought up the controversial topic of our boys being “adrift.”
Our Pastor spent a good majority of his sermon on the crisis of boys in our society… (CONTINUE READING)
Secrets of Happy Mommies ~ And the Importance of Being Content!
I love being a mom. I’d say that even with all the housework, tantrums, and even in being pregnant and hormonal – I’m definitely happy the majority of the time, and grateful for this life I’m living & for getting the privilege to be a mommy.
My son loves me so incredibly much – even after having a couple of time outs today, he cuddles up with me at bedtime, throws his arms around me and tells me that I’m “such a sweet mommy,” and that he loves having me for a mom. *cue the tears*
I tell him all the time how he is a gift from God, and how much I love having him as my son…. (CONTINUE READING)
What Makes a Good Mother?
Here are some character traits I was thinking about early this morning, things I want to focus on more and develop my inner being’s muscles in: To be truly attune to my son – interested in him and everything he is doing and telling me. To really listen to him and his concerns, his adorable thoughts, and most importantly, his questions. He asks the most interesting and deep questions about life for a child who just turned 4 years old this summer. He’s so intelligent and understands things beyond I’m sure, what I understood at that age…. (CONTINUE READING)
When Mothers Emasculate Their Sons
Emasculation, as this book explains through it’s examples, is a mother’s not allowing her boys to make the transition from her sweet, adoring baby to a male that wants to be adventurous, wild, and even dangerous. Not allowing him to learn to shoot a gun when he’s old enough, not allowing him to be with his dad if you’re divorced, or go on hunting trips, fishing trips, camping trips… these things are invaluable to boys and often remembered in their adulthood.
Overprotecting your son (and even your daughter) is just not good….
Kids, Honesty, & Breast Implants
I remember growing up and being comfortable asking my parents any question whatsoever. They were honest parents… even about situations or circumstances that were painful or hard to talk about. Of course, being young I thought everyone’s experience was the same – it surprised me when I was a pre-teen to a teenager, and even into college to find out friends weren’t able to communicate as well with their own moms & dads. It made me sad for them, because as a child, who else do you have to depend on if not your parents for getting the important questions answered in life?
I learned so many things about life and people from hearing my parents talk about it… (CONTINUE READING)
You Want Your Kids to Feel Valued? You Have to Value Them First
There is no better and ultimately no other way to teach your children that they are valuable people than by valuing them.
Second, the more children feel valuable, the more they will begin to say things of value. They will rise to your expectation of them.
Third, the more you listen to your child, the more you will realize that in amongst the pauses, the stutterings, the seemingly innocent chatter, your child does indeed have valuable things to say…. (CONTINUE READING)
Kids, Chaos, & Mistakes
I think having a child is one of the hardest things in life – knowing how to raise them, deal, in a good way, with their sometimes difficult behavior, and maintain a good relationship with them through to adulthood, sometimes seems impossible when you’re in the thick of it with toddlers or even pre-teens/teenagers. Being a parent is hard, I was reminded of this fact these last few days – maybe the weather change, or maybe the excitement from knowing Christmas is closing in, had my 3-year-old upping his tantrum-mania anytime we went out…. (CONTINUE READING)