Over the years, I’ve seen the purity movement come under attack, mostly from women around my age who claim it messed up their view of sex. Their biggest claim to being a victim of the purity movement is almost always that they were, “sexually repressed,” because their parents (or church, youth group etc.) tried to teach them that waiting to have sex until marriage was God’s plan. There are now enough women who feel this way, that there are false prophet female pastors going so far as to melt down old purity rings into literal idols of sexual debauchery.
Picture of female pastor with purity ring idol shaped into a vagina
You know I’ve been accused before of something unhappily married women have claimed, “husband idolatry,” just because I actually care about your father and try to meet his needs. Now there are people, Christian men and women even, who will accuse you of purity idolatry for the same faulty reasoning.
Sexual purity is important to God, and yes, it will be important to your future husband if he’s a godly man who values it.
“For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God.
This means that one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an Avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you.
For God has not called us to impurity, but to sanctification.
Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man’s teaching, but God and God’s teaching, who also gives you His Holy Spirit to discern these matters.”‘
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
There Will Always Be Men Who Try to Convince You Fornication is not a Sin
When I was about 14 years old, there was a horrible boy in my grade who was just crude and mean and negatively effected everyone in his vicinity! Even though I went to a private Christian school, we would occasionally get kids who were kicked out of the public school system and their only other option was alternative school, so to avoid that, their parents put them in a private Christian school… to harass all of us basically (at least that’s what we saw it as… these kids, usually boys, were almost pre-criminal).
I remember one time, sitting there in Bible class of all places, when this particular boy started trying to get a few of us to be convinced that fornication wasn’t really a sin, because apparently the wording for it wasn’t in the Bible. Even back then at that young age, I caught the insane irony of it all, but I was also fairly angry… here our (male) teacher was doing his very best to try to teach us about godly things, trying to help us along in our faith, and right under his nose Satan had planted this boy in an effort to undermine his Bible class teachings, and to get us to believe anti-biblical nonsense about sexual purity! Satan’s plan is sexual destruction, defilement, and he will use any argument to achieve that end.
There will always be boys, or men, who will try to convince you that sexual impurity isn’t really impurity, or against God’s will for you. But as you read in the Bible passage above, you will know, and be prepared to defend, God’s position on this and purity matters.
The purity movement of the 90’s has been hijacked and reframed by people who are twisting it into something it wasn’t, and they will try to convince you sexual purity is a false goal. Something I’ve seen frequently, usually written by feminist women, is that they will try to shame you by accusing you of making your sexual purity, or even virginity, into an idol. I’m sure this may be possible in some cases where a woman will make her virginity her identity apart from God, however in most cases, they are using this as an excuse to do away with the concept of sexual purity altogether.
These people, mostly women, will despise your goal of wanting to wait to have sex. They’ll view you as sexually repressed or mentally abused by your church or parents for guiding you this way. Their counterparts who help promote the destruction of valuing saving sex before marriage will call your effort to maintain your virginity, “idolatry.” The idolatry of having this goal of retaining one’s purity.
Reject all of it as ridiculous nonsense, my sweet one! I view it in the same way as that 14 year old boy in our Bible class, using his very evil intentions to try to get the kids who were sheltered or naive (many of us were both) to fall for his lies that were coming straight from Satan. Hold strong to your faith, read God’s Word daily so that you know how to fight the enemy’s lies, and always know you can come to your father or I for more guidance and to seek answers about anything that bothers you.
God gave you and your brothers to us to entrust us to give you the tools to discern right from wrong, and I’m fully confident in all of our children, that y’all will be able to see through false teachings and false prophets, and continue on in your faith without stumbling over their words.