Bless Your Husband Through Food

woman-sunset-sunrise-silhouette-holding-sunball

One of the things I decided almost 13 years ago when we were first married, was that my husband would eat good food and be provided for.  I remember how it felt to wake up with him very early in the morning, even though I really didn’t need to as my day started a lot later (college and part-time work), but I’d wake up with him, make sure he had fresh tacos and coffee and a lunch for the day, and it was just perfect.  I knew it wasn’t what feminists would want to see, a wife actually caring about her husband’s meals and doing something sacrificial for him, but I almost couldn’t help myself!  I just loved him so much that I wanted to make sure he had homemade breakfast tacos!

Bacon and Egg Tacos with Pesto Recipe - Mission Foods

Now that he leaves so early, and we have so many children that for years, have seriously interrupted my sleep, he totally understands why I sleep in sometimes if I need to… he would never demand on time breakfast in those circumstances, BUT I still love to make sure he has good food! I just make it so that it’s ready to go!

In order to do this, I make a ton of food in advance and wrap it/store it so that he can get it when he needs to.  Sometimes I’m cooking for literally two hours to cover all the week’s meals, BUT it is so worth it to have those other nights off.

Cooking like this for my husband (and children) isn’t just fun, it’s financially practical and even healthy from a nutrition standpoint.  It’s quite literally taking care of my man from every angle – there is no down side.  To me, it’s a beautiful gesture of love done food-style!

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach! | The heart of ...

I also do this with his lunches.  For years I wasn’t as creative and would only send sandwiches or lunches that tasted good cold, but finally I branched out and got him an electric lunchbox, a tiny little oven that’s portable that he can plug into his car if needed.

Koolatron-12-Volt Lunch Box Stove

For a Police Officer, this is life-changing!  Healthy, hot-meals he can eat on the go that are made with love from his wife at home!!  It’s just awesome for both of us ❤ a true win-win in my opinion.

Now that we have such a large family, I’m buying more in bulk than I ever was before.  Just this week I bought 15 dozen eggs!  Yes, that is 180 EGGS !!!  But for our family, especially with the meat prices rising (we aren’t afraid, we have a freezer stocked with meat that could last for months and months if needed), this many eggs are something I know our kids will eat that provide the nutrition of fat and protein.  It’s good to buy from local farmers or places that can get you a good price, and buying in bulk usually means a better price.  Our regular local HEB had just 1 dozen eggs priced at $6.50, which was a terrible price.  I purchased these 15 dozen eggs for only $13 !!!!!  When the corporate world tries to mess with you, go local, go to the farmers.

IMG_3295

We also bought 25 POUNDS of flour for baking for only $10 back when no one could find flour on the shelves at HEB or grocery stores.  Being a wife, it’s good to be creative and look ahead to the future so that IF something strange does happen, like a ridiculous pandemic, you’re provided for.

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We not only stocked up on 180 eggs and 25 pounds of flour at bargain prices, we also found pinto beans at 50 POUNDS for just $45 !!!!  Dry beans are definitely something good to have on hand when the food sources are looking unreliable.  And all of this is supporting local Texans… something my husband and I both treasure in our hearts!

None of my bulk cooking would work if I couldn’t find and figure out bargains like that!  And the added bonus of making sure your husband has meals so his day is easier as he’s out working hard for your family is that our sons get to see what it looks like when a mom loves their dad, and our daughter gets to see love in action in a wife/mother type of role that is practical and works.  And don’t get me wrong, they also see the benefits I reap as my husband gives me tons of affection and love back in SO many ways it’s impossible to explain.  But they see it all, and our marriage is hopefully a testament to the beauty that it can be when a man and woman truly love each other and work together to build a dream.

And yes, LOL a big part of building that dream involves eating very. good. delicious. food!

34 Comments

  1. I have got to find that lunchbox! Working out of a vehicle, in the south, is a challenge. Particularly trying to eat sensibly. It’s difficult to keep food cool, even with ice packs. Your husband is fortunate to have you. Working together is the key to making it all work. You guys are great!

  2. i love this, Stephanie, and i love your resourcefulness! you’re amazing 🙂

    it’s interesting how extremely different my two husband in regards to food and eating preferences. neither cared for me fixing breakfast. my first husband didn’t eat breakfast, and my second husband likes to do his own thing. so, for me, loving them was not forcing on them what i thought they wanted.

    lunch has been the same. they each had their own ways they liked their lunch – vastly different – but also different from how *I* perceived they would want it. i had to give up my perception of what i thought was a *good* wife, not do what *I* thought should be done, and gladly let them do their own lunch thing – even when it didn’t include me at all, or had me doing something that didn’t make sense to me or would not make me happy if the tables were turned.

    🙂

  3. I agree with you 100% 🙂
    My husband doesn’t like to eat breakfast, but I always make a big dinner so there’s enough for him to have a lunch the next day as well. We also have to buy almost everything in bulk since we have a large family, and I am always looking for a better price. We can add to the economy of our home by shopping smart and stretching what we have. I’m glad you are doing well.

  4. @MJ Davis – It’s a great lunch box and yes, a total game changer for y’all being in cars all the time and trying to stay fit! I’ll put the link to the one my husband actually has below… You also have to buy these foil trays from pretty much any grocery store, too, to heat the food up and it stays super clean that way. The trays are cheap and we just buy 5 weekly.

  5. @Ame this post was inspired by your meal prep comment (can I post it here?)!!!!

    For those who don’t know, every other week Ame produces a MASSIVE amount of food – she texted me the last time she did it a couple of weeks ago, and I sent her back a text of a skeleton because I’d be dead LOL !!! Her meal prepping makes my efforts look like Popsicle-stick buildings 😛

    “Loving them was not forcing on them what I thought they wanted.”

    ^^That is actually what probably most of us wives don’t understand. I think Lori has said before that if we want our husbands to eat healthy and they don’t like it (the healthy food), it’s not really blessing him to make a lot of food he’s not going to want. :/ A man has to want to make those changes on his own.

    Mine says he prefers me to make him food, lets me know if there’s something he didn’t like though and I try to change it.

  6. My husband just said a lot of his coworkers when they see his oven lunchbox get excited about it. So hopefully more police wives will find out!

  7. Thank you Linda, I always love hearing about what you do for your family. I’m sure you know far more about bulk buying and cooking than I do 😀 Nine children would make it a definite necessity! I love that having a bigger family makes this necessary though, it actually makes me happy to cook and have it stored and ready. I’m sure you totally understand 😉

  8. Something else important about the oven-lunch-box. It isn’t good at keeping food cool, so I store the foil trays (ready to go with the food inside) in our freezer so that he pulls it out in the mornings and it’s basically almost dethawed by the time he cooks it.

  9. ahhh, thank you, Stephanie! but … i don’t have 4 young children including a 3 year old and a nursing newborn … and homeschooling! 🙂

    here’s what i wrote at spawny’s yesterday:

    today was a food prep day – i buy in bulk and repackage.
    21 hamburgers approx 1/3 pound each.
    120 meatballs.
    4 meatloafs (baked, sliced, and 3 frozen; one was dinner and lunch for tomorrow).
    20 pounds of carrots peeled, sliced, and stored in multiple freezer bags.

    Tuesday was also a food prep day:
    4 whole chickens, baked, deboned, and frozen.
    4-5 large zip bags each of fresh broccoli and cauliflower, cleaned, cut up, and frozen (i usually buy organic frozen, but they were out, so fresh it was).
    stock started and finished on Wednesday – 12 cups of homemade stock – i freeze in 2 cup portions 🙂

    my bff’s Mama would say, “A meal in the freezer is like money in the bank.”

    – – –

    it’s just what is necessary for our home to function well right now. when work changes the schedule back to normal, i will go back to cooking daily 🙂

  10. Er, I know this idea won’t go over well but rest assured feminists don’t care if you cook for your husband if you want to any more than anyone else would care if you wanted to do anything else for any random person you love. 😛 They only care about when that becomes mandatory. Like “get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” is still a common insult children use – but only towards women. For the sake of both men and women it’s best if women aren’t the only people expected to be in the kitchen.

  11. It’s true that individual women calling themselves feminist maybe wouldn’t care, but if they thought about how many hours I’ve spent, over the course of 13 years, day in day out in the kitchen with zero days off, or the fact that my husband doesn’t contribute that way at all (because he doesn’t need to, in the same way I don’t need to work for most of those years), then I think they really would have a problem with it internally. It sounds, “unfair,” to many who don’t understand it, and that’s the whole premise of what all the old feminist books were written on – that it was unfair for women to do housework, child-rearing etc. and not get to have a, “wife,” doing it for them (can’t find the quote but that’s basically what one famous feminist who started the movement said). They also believed housewives were pretty much horrible people. You should educate yourself about the beginnings of what they really thought.

    **Editing to add that even though it’s a daily thing, my husband definitely doesn’t demand that at all (and he’s super appreciative), we plan days to have fast food or occasions where he does a BBQ or picks up pizza for us to give me a break! But overall, with 3 meals a day and homeschooling, there’s no way a lot of that could be neglected. I don’t think the ways he helps me would be enough for hardcore feminists who believe it should all be shared equally as a 50-50 division.

  12. ” They only care about when that becomes mandatory.”

    So is housework and cooking for your family not need to be done? If housework isn’t mandatory, what happens? Doesn’t the house get filthy and unlivable or unsanitary?

    I guess I didn’t realize cooking and housework weren’t mandatory and needed to be done everyday LOL It is kind of funny that you answered your own comment in that you proved feminists do actually care who does the bulk of housework and cooking, because housework and cooking are definitely mandatory things that need to be done, and if the husband does another role, then it’s very very mandatory that the mom/wife does those things.

  13. Yes feminists (in general) will care that you are getting up when you don’t need to and cooking your husband’s breakfast for him, because men are perfectly capable of getting their own breakfast and their wives shouldn’t be doing it for them because it makes the men lazy. Or something like that.
    I mean, some feminists wouldn’t have a problem with it at all, and likely think it sweet, but the feminist movement on the whole would be against it. Feminism is about freedom for women. Getting up when you don’t need to, to cook for your husband, is slavery.

    I know this, because I used to be a feminist. A very proud one. Some days I still have to fight to push it aside, especially when my husband amuses himself by telling me chauvinistic jokes, and when he tells our 17 year old son to make sure he finds himself a wife who can cook and clean – my instinctive reaction is to say “hang on, we raised that boy to be able to cook and clean for himself!” (and he does – he has his own house now, and he keeps it clean and tidy and does most of his own cooking) but I’ve come to realise that usually, my husband tells me those jokes to remind me that my feminist side is beginning to show, and I need to rein it back in.

  14. Ideologies evolve over time and people use critical thinking skills developed here and now to decide how to behave. I really don’t care what feminists 100+ years ago had to say about women – most of them wouldn’t care for me either. Susan B. Anthony is famous for saying black women shouldn’t get to vote – that doesn’t sound like someone I should listen to just ’cause they were a “feminist”.
    Now; If you said “Feminists 100+ years ago would vilify me for it!” I’d agree with you and be like “Yeah, but they’re all dead so…?”. That’s equivalent to me saying “Conservatives don’t like what I’m doing today. I’m going to go vote in an election!”. By and large conservatives don’t care if women have the right to vote these days, but there was a time not all THAT long ago when they sure did! Why don’t they brush up on the history of their movement??? ‘Cause… It’s kind of irrelevant to the modern age and doesn’t align with their beliefs any more ’cause ideologies grow and change – even conservative ones.
    Like… I get it – you value some old timey things that some more modern folks don’t and you feel attacked. But feminists REALLY don’t care about people (you) living their lives they way they want to – including cooking for husbands.
    They would only care if you didn’t want to or it was letting someone get away with never learning critical life skills/responsibilities like cooking or cleaning because of an expectation that women will always do it for them.
    But if you’re happy and your husband’s not a complete nob who can’t survive without you because they never learned basic life skills that – like you’ve pointed out – are mandatory in every home female presence or not… Well, they really could not care less. If there were a majority of women doing this they’d still be chill as long as other women that say, wanted a career instead, wouldn’t have to also. You should try talking to and engaging with feminists sometime and ask questions instead of just reading what non-feminists think feminists think.

  15. For example; here’s this very funny tongue-in-cheek article about how to “clean like a feminist”
    https://jezebel.com/how-to-clean-like-a-feminist-1450958608
    A modern feminist take on cooking;
    https://medium.com/@jorjorian/is-cooking-anti-feminist-d93b389dbf87
    “What about a stay-at-home mother? For her, cooking might be a leisure activity and a pleasure, a domestic task she chooses to do. Alternatively, maybe she works — and cooks — at home because child care costs more than she would earn out of the house, and so economic necessity makes the choice for her…
    But to reduce cooking to labor is to collapse it into a singular, capitalistic dimension. Food and cooking have larger resonances than simply economics.”
    Here’s a whole article about how women loved to cook in the 80’s even while protesting women being the primary cooks even when they didn’t want to be;
    https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1536504214545763
    Here’s a whole hot take on being a feminist who likes house work;
    http://www.vanessa-murray.com/does_liking_housework_make_me_a_bad_feminist
    Ideologies – including feminism – change. Liking housework is OK – even to support people you love – and even to feminists.

  16. That lunch box is so cool, it’s unreal.

    I have been hitting up farmers markets like crazy lately. I think the stimulus checks are what has caused dramatic inflation in groceries, especially since the hoarding behavior has long subsided. Corporate grocers know that people got an influx of cash and in many places can’t use it anywhere except for online purchases. So they jacked up prices to exploit that. Like you, I’d rather keep our spending local anyway, and most of the food that is sold at farmers markets is grown responsibly by people who are in the business because they legitimately love the land and this country.

  17. You know the article you cited trying to make light of feminist cooking/cleaning, you should read the arguments among the women below it who call themselves feminists. Not even they agree with what you’re saying.

  18. Another prominent feminist quote on the topic,

    “Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day. The housewife wears herself out marking time: she makes nothing, simply perpetuates the present … Eating, sleeping, cleaning – the years no longer rise up towards heaven, they lie spread out ahead, grey and identical. The battle against dust and dirt is never won.
    Simone de Beauvoir”

  19. Erm… I’m just not sure you’re making a good example. Simone wrote her biggest works in 1928. That doesn’t really help your argument that it’s not an attitude from literally 100 years ago. In fact it was only 8 years after women in the USA got the right to vote and 16 years BEFORE her own country granted her the right to vote so it’s VERY comparable to saying conservatives don’t want women to vote. It’s just not reality for the vast majority of people today.

    The ideology has changed a LOT in 100 years. It’s now an ideology that highlights individual needs. As in, I think chores ARE drudgery and hate them and the burden of housework shouldn’t fall mostly on me because of my gender – and it’s a shame that society still doesn’t support that idea fully.
    But you’re not me. It’s OK to like things other people don’t – including cleaning and cooking. And if that works for you that’s OK.

    No living feminist has ever told you that you, specifically, shouldn’t cook for your husband, and you agree that no feminists would say they have a problem with your relationship. You yourself accidentally point out it’s a minority using a 100 year old ideology when people write about it.

    So instead think about your actual experiences with feminists who actually speak to you. Media focuses on trying to get views with how offensive those dirty feminists are or proposing wild hot-takes. Most feminists don’t act like that IRL. Think about what feminists actually say to you in real life. And hey, if you lack examples here’s one feminist who is alive and interacting with you telling you that, in no uncertain terms, it’s OK to cook for your husband because you love him and feminists don’t mind that one bit and haven’t for decades really.

  20. Oh man. You read the comments section? Comments sections are ALWAYS garbage fires. Never read the comments section. That’s like, internet etiquette 101.
    Half those comments are bots trying to drum up inflammatory activity on the article for more clicks and algorithm hits generation or trolls. Plenty of the “women” commenting aren’t women.
    Why would the comments section for any article ever matter knowing that? If I trusted the comments section I’d be -again- 100% convinced that republicans wanted to repeal the 19th amendment and that it was a common opinion. It shows up more than you’d think.

    But, again, not reality. Mostly bots and trolls People don’t act like that in real life.

  21. “No living feminist has ever told you that you, specifically, shouldn’t cook for your husband, and you agree that no feminists would say they have a problem with your relationship. You yourself accidentally point out it’s a minority using a 100 year old ideology when people write about it.”

    You’re making a huge assumption here that’s just your wishful thinking. Maybe you wish feminists weren’t so militant as to (in modern times) try to impose their own beliefs on someone like me personally, but they definitely do. Both my husband and myself had feminist professors in college who taught these things. One of mine specifically, constantly tried to tell us married women were far more unhappy than they were being single, which I knew firsthand just wasn’t true. I was so relieved when we got married (at 20) because I really hated the emotional roller coaster of dating.

    The scary thing is that these militant feminists who try to tell us what to do with our lives, they held our grades in their hands. We had to basically lie and agree with them to make it out of their classes with A’s.

  22. I’ve also encountered one rare bird in real life who told me women shouldn’t vote or be in office. He owned a business in my moms home town. He was multiple someones boss. They exist too. Hardly representative of the whole – unless you also think that conservatives all think women shouldn’t vote, too? I see it expressed in the comments sections on articles a lot after all…. And prominent conservative men wrote about it a lot about 100 years ago too….

    And before you said I was correct that no feminist individually would take issue with your relationship. So was your professor referring to a broad issues/statements and like I said not talking about you at all? (Admittedly data says they’d still be wrong, but…) Or were they talking about you specifically?

    Not that it matters any more. I told you you wouldn’t like it. Outrage at a whole group of people is REALLY hard to let go when one of them offended you once so I’m not surprised you can’t look past it. But I hoped maybe you could. It doesn’t change that feminists – especially as a whole – don’t really care if you do things cause love your husband any more than conservatives actually want to repeal the 19th amendment.

    I’ll stop engaging with you now. Have fun cleaning for your husband. I only hope for his sake he knows enough of those household life skills and maintains them regularly enough to live well if something happens to you. My dad sure didn’t when my mom died.

    Good luck.

  23. I think a lot, and I do mean a lot, of people believe women shouldn’t be able to vote anymore, that it was a huge mistake, but you wont’ find anyone saying that to you officially because it’s social suicide or career-ending. So you can only find the truth in comment sections etc. where real people are able to talk about what they really think.

    Just like how Trump won, when it didn’t look like he’d have any support – those kinds of things, that kind of growing hatred against what Hillary was pushing (and all those female voters may I add) people do that kind of thing very quietly and passionately. It’s the Silent Majority growing extremely tired of it. You should listen to the calls of parents who raised their children to have a strong faith and morals, who when they went to college, were basically brainwashed into rejecting all of that. They’re real people, and yes, they are very very angry.

  24. Yes!!!! That’s the best outcome I think we could have hoped for was people buying local. We’re not planning on stopping after his either 😍😃

  25. You find truth in the comments section. Where half the people are literal robots and using it to generate algorithm clicks.

    But you also think that all those children who reject the path their parents set for them are brainwashed – not thinking breathing capable adults making their own choices with their own brains because they’re complete human beings.

    Dang. Now I just feel sad for you and your kids. Good luck.

  26. I think having a professor constantly rail on (for months) about how bad women have it as wives, or in life in general, how women are happier staying single etc. can definitely have a brainwashing effect in young minds. It’s coming from someone who should be teaching truth as an authority figure, but instead is allowed to use their power over those students to indoctrinate them to hate men, marriage, and family. It didn’t work on me (in this case) because I could think for myself and had experience that contradicted what she was trying to get us to believe (it was sociology).

    Don’t feel bad for our kids, I think they’ll be able to see through things that don’t work or aren’t true, because we’re honest with them. And they’ll choose for themselves at some point.

  27. Never did I say I hated anyone (feminist or not) I think that’s your hatred of someone having a different experience and life, which is sad.

    It’s not at all one professor, the first commenter on this post, MJ Davis has a young daughter he feels has been brainwashed in the exact way I described, from going to college where they taught her the things I stated. It’s devastating for him and his wife. But you just want to brush it off and claim I hate people (??) instead of face the truth and admit you were wrong and assumed wrongly.

  28. Yes, there absolutely are a huge number of conservatives, both men and women, who think women should not have the vote. I live in NZ, the first country in the world to give women the vote, and I still come across it. They do try to hide it because it’s completely un-PC to admit to having that attitude these days, but it’s actually quite prevalent. And on the comments sections in the very few blogs that I frequent, it’s said a lot. By actual, real people. My own husband even said it, once. I’m still not certain whether he actually believes it or if he said it purely to wind me up for his amusement. I hope it was the latter. He has never actually suggested I stop voting, though.

    The feminist movement these days has actually turned into a hating-men movement. It’s gone well beyond equal rights and opportunities. Take the #believewomen movement just as one example. WHY should we believe women over men? Does anybody actually believe women never lie, or even that they lie less than men?
    I completely get why feminists came about. My 5X great-grandmother was influential in getting women the vote here in NZ and I have a copy of her diaries (copies are passed down to all her female descendants). Feminists were desperately needed. If feminists had stopped at getting women the vote, and equal opportunities, I would likely still be a feminist. But it’s gone too far, now. These days, I actually fear for my boys, and even for my husband, being at the mercy of these women.

  29. And there’s no possibility whatsoever that this person formed their new opinions not through brainwashing but through new experiences introduced by people having a different experience and life than their own and critical thinking? None at all?

    Good luck. You really do need it.

  30. Once your opponent has resorted to personal attacks, you’ve won the argument. I guess that means I’ve won. All you can do is try to insult.

    It would make sense that a college student was simply thinking critically IF they were understanding truth (being able to see if what the feminist professor is saying is actually true based on facts and life experience), but when it’s false information that a professor is teaching them, having them memorize, and testing them on how well they regurgitate falsehoods, that is brainwashing, even if the professor has an axe to grind and believes it themselves (both our female professors really did believe what they were saying, both had had marriages end and we’re extremely bitter women). Just because they thought all men and marriage were bad, doesn’t make it true.

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