I have many posts in draft, including one that has been asked several times here or via emails on what I think about women in ministry… it is coming, it’s just so complicated and long I’ve been trying to pare it down to a more easy-to-read post.
We’ve going through lots of things this past school year! Homeschool has been amazing, even though sometimes it can be harder some days than others. For the most part, it has been wonderful getting to really focus on teaching our older son (and to some degree our younger son) things that we feel the school system was deliberately leaving out or twisting to be seen from a false narrative. And we’re able to focus so much more on Christian ethics and morals in our lessons, and involve the Christian aspects behind historical stories and even in science.
And going through Pilgrim’s Progress has just been AMAZING for our son. Again, I cannot reccommend this book enough to families with children! It is a MUST read for the strengthening of their faith (and for yours!). Just read it, and honor it in your house. I’m sure the sweet author John Bunyan may have gotten some things wrong, but overall it is very on point and a good tool for building a child’s faith.
In other news, some of you may remember we’ve been trying to have another child.
It’s just been taking longer than we expected, which isn’t really “bad,” but every month when I find out I’m not pregnant, I feel this emptiness and longing… and tell my husband how I just simply want to have another of his babies. It’s a very strange and sad kind of emptiness. And I’m so so sorry to sound so selfish to any women out there who have dealt with never having a child. I’m not in any way trying to minimize your pain – I’m sure I should be happy that we have 3 already (and I am!), but it IS just a strange kind of thing that I’m going through each month that I’m not able to conceive. I knew it would probably take longer… I’m far older than I was when we had our first (almost a decade!) and I’m accepting that maybe it’s not possible.
I definitely am not trying to make it a big deal, and some people in our circle think I’m ridiculous for even wanting more children 😦 , but to be honest, it has just been a little depressing and hard. And I never thought I’d feel those feelings when needing to wait or having to accept that … maybe 3 kids is “it?” It’s ok, and I still love and trust God so much, but I’ve been surprised at these feelings inside.
That and we’ve been through an intense few months of my husband studying for a work thing… something that took him away almost every second of him being off, but thankfully that season is over and we’re more into a, “let’s finish school strong,” mode 🙂 .
We’ve actually become busier as I’ve started to teach another sweet little boy (5 yr old) who is the grandson of our neighbor. His father and mother had him out of wedlock in high school (she was only 16), and have both abandoned him to other life choices (her drugs and he’s off at college very far away). He’s practically an orphan and it is just so hard to see up close and personal what that does to a child.
We’ve watched ALL of this play out over the years we’ve lived next to his grandmother. And now she’s called upon me to kind of repair what they’ve broken and neglected. He can’t even read or write well, and I’ve been gently teaching him just the basics, and thankfully it’s been working and hopefully in a small way, it will help him. It’s so tragic. He is so sweet, and my husband even wants to adopt him. He’s basically become almost a part of our family as he’s over every day, and just kind of folded into the fabric of our life.
Something that’s been such a blessing in this busy season has been the mom’s group I’ve talked about before. It’s a group that’s mostly made up of very large, home-schooling families… think 4+ kids per mom who attends! It is incredible the stuff I’m learning in this group ❤ and SO fulfilling to be around other like-minded women and children it’s hard to describe how nice it is.
So with all that above, we’ve just been so. incredibly. busy. And I’m exhausted, but it’s a good exhausted. 🙂