Things I Want My Daughter to Know: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

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This is a post I’m truly excited to write.  This phrase, Actions Speak Louder Than Words,” is something my mother told me ALL. THE. TIME.

She also would say,

“I’m sorry I can’t hear you – your actions are just too loud!!”

I didn’t realize how rare this was… to have a mom who actually held me accountable to what I said I would do – and who I said I wanted to be character-wise.  It’s normal I think for women to lack a sense of insight into what they’re actually doing – compared to what they say they want to do or are doing.  It’s a huge disconnect that is so strange to see from the outside.

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This is displayed when a woman does something that is obviously even painfully so disrespectful to her husband, and yet she’s submissive and Christian and otherwise looks like the perfect “quality woman.”  She often even says that she loves him, respects him, and submits to him, and yet does things that are just beyond disrespectful.

How can her mind be so disconnected from reality?

It’s because she was never held accountable for her actual actions,

yet was taught to say all the right things to cover the deception.

Yes, it’s a type of self-deception, basically being in denial.  In severe cases, it can even lead to someone living a double life, and not even truly being aware of how disconnected their life has become.

So be introspective, Sweet Girl.  And have many advisers/mentors who you can talk to and bounce ideas off of before you take action.  It may seem weird to other people, that you go to others you look up to and trust to see what they think about something, but trust me, it will strengthen you to know you have people backing you and supporting you in your decisions (and to feel like you had enough knowledge to make the right decision at that time).

Know that people will always judge you by your actions (as they should), and not by just the things you say.  This is critically important if you want to make an impact in your life for good.  You can’t just say the right words, without backing them up with the right actions.

If you want men you may be interested in, to take you seriously, you have to actually show them through your actions that you admire and respect them.  Words are completely meaningless to prove that kind of love.  You could have an entire blog professing your love to your husband, public to the world, and yet if you do not treat your husband respectfully at home, and in a myriad of other little ways in public, it will prove you a fraud.  Don’t put yourself and your family through that kind of pain by not living out your beliefs.

The only way to have integrity and respect in this life, is to back up your words with actions that prove them.

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I promise as your mother, to hold you accountable to your words and guide you along in this area as you grow.  I have no doubt that you will learn this well, and be able to exemplify it in your own life as you become the woman God wants you to be.



  1. It’s not our words
    That define us but our actions
    That tell the tale

    Copyright Dabir Dalton

  2. I think a lot of Christian ladies lack introspection, likely because they are told they are perfect (or, close to) and don’t need it. A little introspection is a good, albeit frightening, thing for anyone.

  3. It’s hard to step down off a pedestal when those who should know better want to keep you on it.

    But then again Jesus warned false teachers would come into the church and seek to scatter the flock.

    The only safety for a Christian is the Word of God.

    Of it’s not in the Bible reject it.

  4. If her actions do not match her words then she is not a Christian no matter how much she claims to be one.

  5. The Holy Spirit is an amazing mirror. We can honestly not even realize, at times, when we’re being disrespectful. We’re living in an age when role models are seriously lacking, but God is able to teach us everything we need to know, if we’re investing time with Him.
    When we ask Him to reveal the intentions and attitudes of our heart, and to make us mature and wise in Him, and He is so faithful to do it. It takes time, and God often works on different areas of our hearts during different seasons, but by and by He brings us along. 😉

  6. A former neighbor of mine is really good at saying all the “right” things but her actions don’t back it up at all. She can wax on poetically about being a great mom or a loyal partner but sadly her actions are anything but. 😦 It’s so true actions are everything, talk is cheap. My neighbor was raised in the church but unfortunately learned to put on a show rather than to walk the talk. I see this a lot in the church family today, and it’s maybe about looking good to others, saying all the right things, looking good from the street. But we must not forget God sees our HEARTS. God knows our truth. That’s the only opinion that matters. There’s no fooling God! Doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do whether any other person ever knows or not, is wise bc God knows! 🙂 And doing right pleases him!

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