Why I Wear My Hair Long… Even with a Baby

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I know this is a sensitive subject (anything to do with a woman’s beauty is a sensitive subject lol) and this is a personal choice… but women who wear their hair down are almost universally perceived as feminine and alluring.  Hair is such a gift God’s given us to enhance our natural beauty.  And it is one of the main things men find sexy or attractive about a woman.  It’s her hair.

It’s normal in America for married women to either cut their hair short after kids, or just always wear it up. this isn’t so in many areas of Europe or even some other Eastern cultures where even older women wear their hair long.  As a result, I’ve read reports from men who have traveled to these areas, that they are AMAZED how sexy and beautiful even the older women are.  And it’s LARGELY because of 1) their attractive slender shapes and 2) their HAIR!

I’ve written about this hair topic a few years before when Dr. Laura described it as American (or Western culture women) having something called “frump syndrome.”  Even reading it, it just sounds scary!  It’s when women stop wearing makeup and always wear their hair up (hardly ever styled) and generally don’t care how they’re dressing now that they’re either 1) married, or 2) a stay at home mom with little kids or babies.  It’s pretty common, especially the hair thing.  It’s also really unattractive 😦 especially to men.

I think most women do this unconsciously.  They fall into a routine of always putting their hair up in a pony tail or bun and never think about how much better (more feminine) they’d look if they put more effort into wearing their hair down.  If you’re married, it’s selfish to never care about the way you wear your hair, or to start dressing frumpy just because you’re a stay at home mommy.  I know that sounds harsh, but you don’t see working women dressing the way us stay at home moms tend to (ouch!).  It’s because they know their workplace and their boss has higher standards of appearance.  Well, turns out most husbands also want to see you putting effort into your hair, makeup and clothes, even if you stay home with the kids.  To me this all makes sense… if a woman puts effort to look nice when she goes out for other people (or her own self-respect) of course she should put in effort on a daily basis for her husband who sees her at home.  It’s a major sign of disrespect to never put an effort into making yourself look more feminine or beautiful, even while staying at home.  And the BIGGEST contributing factor to a woman’s femininity is arguably, her hair.

It’s our most powerful “accessory.” 😉 ❤

For many women, it takes more work to wear your hair down, which is why they probably don’t do it.  I have to make sure it’s styled because my hair has insane body and sometimes frizz and doesn’t tend to look great when I just wake up.  So it takes a little bit of effort – not even that much though, like 5-10 minutes depending on the day, but my  husband is CRAZY about it when I wear it long and flowing.  And compliments me on it frequently.

Just this morning he walked in when I happened to be changing… my long hair was falling down over my breasts, and he was taken aback for a moment watching me… and called me his Lady Godiva!  ❤

He loves it, and he notices it all the time.  But the truth is… he wouldn’t even SEE how long it is if I always wore it up daily when working around the house.  He (and I!) would be missing out a big part of my feminine beauty if I selfishly daily hid my hair away from him.  It’s the little things that tend to enhance the romance in a marriage, and this is just one of the many “little things,” in my opinion.

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Even Prince George likes to get in on the action!

With a baby, I get it, it’s easier to put it up, but don’t put it up all the time, even if you do have a baby.  Put up with a little hair pulling 😉  I’m going through this right now, literally lol with my 4 month old.  You can teach them not to pull it so much.  And your husband will appreciate seeing you looking more feminine and beautiful – showing him you care about his desire to see you that way.

prince george

Mommy, you just look SO beautiful!  Me HAS to stroke and grab your pwetty hair!

And obviously for doing chores, it needs to be out of the way so you don’t get frustrated and ca see what you’re doing.  But for things like carrying the baby around, breastfeeding, making some snacks or lunches (where you’re hair is less likely to be in the way) try wearing it down and see how much more feminine you feel.

Try a challenge and wear it down mostly for the next week.  If you’re guilty of always wearing it up for comfort and not having to mess with it, this will probably be hard for you at first to get used to.

This also means you’ll have to spend some time to make it look actually presentable, because just wearing it down if it’s not clean, brushed, or at least styled, won’t have the same “beautiful” and feminine effect for you or your husband.

If it’s frizzy and wild, this means you’ll need to put in the time and effort to make it look nice when down.  You probably wore it down a lot when you were dating right?

Don’t go to the Frumpside.

hair down

Good Morning Sunshine!

Try wearing it down.

Stephanie

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9 thoughts on “Why I Wear My Hair Long… Even with a Baby

  1. Your hair has that lived in look but it still looks healthy and glamorous.

    I wear my hair down 98% of the time. The only time I have it up is during my fire dancing sessions, pretty much.

    I’ve always liked having long hair too. The shortest I have had it is shoulder length in high school. Since then it has been around the bottom of my shoulder blades.

    I remember when Rihanna did that Umbrella video and I thought her shorter hair looked so cool, it almost made me want to cut it like that but I never took the plunge.

  2. Thanks Ash that is really kind! Fire dancing sounds insane LOL!! Wow!! Yea I could see how that could be dangerous… lol!

    Hope you’re doing well these days, and thanks for stopping by.

  3. I agree 100% with long hair looks better. All women look better with long hair, even those who “look good” with short hair.

    Somewhere, I once saw pictures of women who looked good with short hair side by side with pictures of them with their hair long. All of them were significantly more beautiful with long hair.

    My wife wears her hair long and likes it, but she is the type who always asks me how I like her to look. I don’t force this upon her, she simply likes my approval I suppose. She often sends me pics from dressing rooms wearing clothes she likes with the question, “Yes or No” before buying it.

    I am always honest with her, but usually it’s a yes because she picked it with me in mind.

    I think she looks great in most anything… even better in nothing but her long hair…

  4. “but she is the type who always asks me how I like her to look. I don’t force this upon her, she simply likes my approval I suppose.”

    Yes!!! That’s the exact same way I am with my husband! He actually wouldn’t be upset if I wanted to cut my hair… but sometimes I’ll ask him which he honestly prefers better, and he ALWAYS says “long.” Plus just the reaction I get out of him tells me all I need to know lol.

    And with pregnancy, it just grows and grows and grows, so it’s kind of nice to take advantage and NOT CUT IT lol… just take vitamins and keep it healthy.

    Again, hearing how much you adore your wife makes me happy. 😀 Thank you for commenting about her – I can almost see a picture of her in my mind from the sweet ways you describe and it is awesome. So thank you!

  5. You have beautiful long hair! I would love to know what you use to keep it healthy. I have long hair too and love it down. During my pregnancy so far is has gotten much fully and flowy. I love it. I hope after pregnancy I miraculously get to keep this hair lol and I too aim to keep it down often as you are absolutely right how it is one of our best accessories💙

  6. Aw pregnancy hormones are great 😀 at least in this way right?? Thank you! And yes I’ll definitely let you know… I don’t use anything expensive or fancy.

    Mostly it comes down to using a serum for me these days. My hair can be really frizzy and we have a lot of humidity (even in “winter” lol). My shampoo is just a regular one. Conditioner is more important in my opinion, but I use Treseme or Pantine Provine – again, nothing crazy expensive 🙂

    -The serum I use is Loreal Smooth Intense Frizz Taming Serum. I put it on the ends and work a little upward, but never on the roots. It shines really nicely and makes my hair just FEEL healthier. It also lasts 72 hours… you can’t beat that!!

    -I also use a dry shampoo sometimes to cut down on how often it needs to be washed (which helps hair growth). I use “Not Your Mother’s” brand CLEAN FREAK Refreshing Dry Shampoo and it really really works. I’ve never found a better dry shampoo – it is amazing! So if your hair is a little greasy, and you want to go another day or two, you can spray it on your roots and work it into the moisture and it makes it clean and dry and full of natural volume. I was amazed the first time I used it – life changing! LOL

    And I wanted to warn you — don’t be surprised if your hair starts falling out a few months after the baby. It’s totally normal and happens to a lot of women. It happened a little with my first, but my hair is so thick I was actually grateful because it made taking care of it easier. With my second baby, it never fell out. And this is my 3rd and so far it’s still been very thick and healthy.

    If it DOES fall out, don’t freak out, it’s just your hormones trying to get back to normal. It really is the sudden drop in the estrogen you had when you were pregnant – the same hormone that made it grow so much. And the hair growth will come back a few months after losing some (if you do lose some). Every pregnancy and post-baby experience seems wildly different, so don’t worry and just relax. Even when I lost a bunch that first time, it all came back within a year 🙂 You may not have this problem, but just wanted you to be aware so it doesn’t scare you.

  7. Definitely, long hair and a slender physique transform a woman’s beauty to the realm of iconoclastic. Most women get lazy and “let themselves go” after marriage, but actually it’s MORE important for a wife to maintain her appearance AFTER marriage, than it is BEFORE, because if she doesn’t, she subjects her husband to additional, unnecessary temptation, thereby putting her marriage at risk, as well as the vitality of their shared marital passion. It is also a form of fraud, from the man’s perspective. (For example, he married a 9, but after 5 years and a kid, he is stuck with a 5.) I am blessed to find that some women, like you, still understand this fundamental part of femininity. You will be blessed accordingly.

  8. Yes I totally agree, I was lucky in that my mom raised me to understand how important those things are, which is why I’m writing these things publicly trying to get to a younger audience who didn’t have that instruction growing up. Don’t be selfish, or self-righteous, understand that your husband values seeing you put in effort to maintain girlishness and beauty, especially after having babies. No one wants to be “matronly,” and lose her sex appeal and girlishness that drew him to her in the first place.

    ” It is also a form of fraud, from the man’s perspective.”

    Yes, I’ve thought of it that way many times 😦 It’s a “bait and switch” thing 😦 To me that’s very sad to see it, and I think a lot of it comes from ignorance about what men value after marriage. Women have no idea how much their husband longs to see them still “trying” for him daily. Not every few days… daily.

    Women *usually* don’t like to hear this stuff, but that comes from their own self-righteousness in not wanting to be held to a higher standard.

    And it’s interesting you bring up how keeping this way – wearing your hair down and long often, keeping fit and slender – how it helps prevent unnecessary temptation for the husband. I’ve heard that many times from male commenters. But from female commenters they usually don’t want to admit that, and want to blame a porn addiction (or roving eye) on being all their husband’s sin. The wife is often is sinning though through this superior attitude that she shouldn’t have to make these concessions, and is making it A LOT harder for him to keep from feeling tempted.

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