So I mentioned I wanted to start a small series on just writing out things I really would love my daughter to grow up hearing from me constantly… yep I’ll be that kind of mom who kind of somewhat nags her about the real life realities I want her to have in the back of her mind.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ll be doing something, and then I’ll hear my mom’s voice in the back of my head with something she’d say growing up that just rang SO true. It happened a ton when I first got married within that first year, and not necessarily about relationship stuff, but more about everyday kind of living.
Things like, “HANG UP THAT DRESS!!! YOU DON’T TREAT YOUR CLOTHES THAT WAY!”
Anyway, these probably won’t be one-liners that will stick in her head, but hopefully more ideas that she’ll adhere to when older.
On Materialistic Things
- Don’t be a material girl. Having “nice clothing” does not have to mean you buy designer clothing. NEVER buy designer items (clothes, shoes, purses, etc.) unless you happen to find them super cheap and really like the piece itself. If it doesn’t cost too much and genuinely brings you value to your wardrobe, get it. But if not, they are such a waste of money and signal to other people you care more about status than reality. I got the best comments about my clothes when younger, even though they were always bought on sale.
- Never pay full price for anything that can be bought or bargained for at less of the price being asked. Buy used, learn to make things yourself… basically do anything you can to save money and be able to use it for more important things that bring better value to your life and your family when you have a family. Buy cars with cash.
- Wait for things to go on sale. There’s absolutely no need to ever buy anything that isn’t on sale. And even then, if you’re smart, you can usually wait it out until they mark it down even further. Your Grandma (my mom) used to help me figure out when certain things went on sale – like the only jeans that actually fit my long legs – and I’d literally wait an entire year to get to that amazing sale where they’d magically all be around $10 each. These were jeans that were normally $50-60. If you pay attention, stores usually have major sales that come cyclically.
- Learn to do the majority of beauty things for yourself so you don’t have to pay someone else to do them. Unless you really cannot figure it out, learn to dye your hair, do your nails, give yourself manicures and pedicures, etc. for yourself. It just saves so much money and is really beneficial to learn to do these beauty habits yourself anyway. You can even easily MAKE MONEY if you learn to do these things well, because you can offer your skills to friends, family, neighbors, etc. and create a little side business if you want.
- With that being said though, your skin (your face) is very important to maintain when young. Because the chemicals used in maintaining skin care are tricky and almost impossible to make, spending some (but not too much) on skincare makes sense overtime. Just know that there is never going to be some magical ointment that will make you somehow not age. Natural remedies girls learn to make for their skin at home are great and very very cheap, but while they do help some, they ultimately are just not anywhere near the strength of what your dermatologist has in her office. Find a good, trustworthy dermatologist, and try to stick with her for life. I’ll help you there 😉
- Accept aging. I’m not sure how true it is that women can really age gracefully, I used to believe it was possible and I still hope it is, but I can literally feel my face getting older as I type lol! Just understand that aging is going to happen, and stay away from things that go above and beyond to try to make you look younger. Botox and fillers and strange things dermatologists are always asked to do from the 35+ crowd just do not look good. Don’t do it! They make women look so unnatural and actually take away from their beauty! Preserve your beauty as much as you can with age, but always avoid looking “unnatural.”
- Always stick to a budget when it comes to buying materialistic girly things. Set aside a certain amount of money per month for girly items and don’t let yourself go above that. Try to build up a little “savings account” for things like that, since makeup, hair styling tools, clothes etc. can add up. Always search for the best deals but getting good quality when it comes to hair styling tools. This means they may cost more, but it’s worth it to not damage your hair. Having a mini-savings built up for times when your favorite straightener or curling iron mysteriously go out is helpful.
And most importantly, most men (and even women to a certain degree) don’t like material girls. From how much money they tend to unnecessarily spend, to their attitude, it’s almost universal that men don’t like a girl or woman who is that high maintenance. Being a material girl is also just extremely wasteful of the items themselves since it’s driven by a mentality to always want the next best thing. This is why designer boots can be found frequently at thrift stores, barely used, because women only wear them a few times before deciding they’re somehow now “out of season.”
Let me tell you a secret.
Truly great boots, or clothes for that matter, are hardly ever “out of season” unless you’re talking about Autumn vs. Summer. 😉 In reality you only need a minimum amount of really great shoes or accessories to look very well put together.
It’s much better to have a few really great wardrobe pieces that are of good quality that