What a Marriage Should Look Like

I found this man, Jordan Peterson, via youtube just recently.  Apparently he’s been around for awhile and I’ve been living under a rock… or just never-ending laundry LOL!  But he is brilliant and reminds me so much of the way my dad talks and thought about life.  Just very addicting to listen to, that kind of beautiful mind.

This is one of THE BEST description breakdowns of what a truly great marriage should look like in practical terms.  He covers all aspects, even describing almost to a “T” my husband’s tattoo he has of our marriage (the three strand cord), however he leaves out God since I don’t believe this man is a Christian.

One of the things that I enjoyed hearing Professor Peterson describe was just how ridiculously HARD it is to have and maintain a marriage like that… it’s definitely not something that happens by sheer chance or luck like I’ve heard people say.  Having a marriage like this is mostly picking the right person, but it’s also deliberate and takes constant minding to it with maturity.

I got my  husband to listen to it with me shortly after I found it and was so excited, telling him it was “us!”  I am so happy to have this with my man, and look forward to many many more years ahead making it better and better!


  1. Marriage is indeed a gift from God. However, unfortunately, many Christians seem to be elevating it above singleness when the Bible never says that, with some even idolising it, thinking that their status of married Christians is higher than that of an unmarried Christian. That is extremely problematic to say that least.

    For example, a woman who gets so upset simply because she is exposed to an opposing opinion about a topic to her, and uses her circumstances as a married woman with children to criticise the person for being “selfish” in taking away time from her family is being selfish herself. She is blaming others for how they make her “feel”, and for her own emotional instability. She is elevating her own needs above others, being inconsiderate to others. Such is the smug attitude of many married women, including many Christian wives, who are full of emotional manipulativeness.

    In case you have not picked up already, that is you. Don’t think I will let you get away with it. Just because you are a married woman is a great marriage does not mean you are more blessed than everyone else.

  2. Jojo, I’ve never said anywhere on this blog that married couples are higher or holier than singles at all. I’ve never touched on this topic I believe, but my opinion follows what Paul said on the topic: that it’s better for people to remain single because they can do more for Christ, but if they “burn,” then it’s better for them to marry. Paul comes right out and said what I tried to tell you about my life: that married women are concerned with the ways of the world in how to please their husbands – they have to be, because if you listened at all to this video, a marriage is run like a machine and needs both partners fully engaged and working to please each other. This man is a genius, and even he says that it’s very very difficult to build that kind of marriage and keep it that way throughout the years. It is incredibly hard. I’d dare to say it’s even harder as a police family. Police couples have an astronomically high divorce rate because a lot of times the stress is just too much. My husband is gone so much and I have to fight constant fear that he’ll get hurt or killed when he’s out. It’s my God-given role right now to be his “helpmeet” only… hopefully you understand this. This having to focus on your family and spouse makes married men and women a little less effective as Christians. Paul says that a couple of times so it’s no secret, I’d be really really stupid to try to say that married people are more blessed.
    It’s God’s biblical Word that married people have to concern themselves more with the word and are less effective as Christians. It is just the way it is. It would be selfish of me to put my husband and my kids on the backburner so I could “do more for God” like a single woman could.
    I do think it’s “selfish” to challenge a person with so much on their plate to what you challenged me to do. You don’t know me or my limits and abilities at all, so challenging me like that when you didn’t know was selfish. I’m sorry I probably over-reacted due to sleep deprivation and exhaustion. But once I chose marriage, my mission is to follow my husband’s leading, not follow or take up a stranger’s challenge to me. Hopefully you can see this, and again I’m sorry I reacted too strongly or offended.

    Single people have a GREAT opportunity to do much much more than married men and women, and Paul says it’s better “not to marry.” Hopefully you know all this and can be encouraged that I am not trying to make you feel “less than.”

  3. Hi Stephanie

    Thanks for your reply. I appreciate you for taking the time to explain.

    I apologise if I made you feel somewhat misunderstood. I probably used too strong a language, but I what I was getting at is really just simply consistency in beliefs, as opposed to choosing which evils to target. So, I think you misunderstood what I really meant, and simply made an assumption about what I was really saying.

    To put it into context, what I was saying was from a perspective where I have seen so much politicking by people when it comes to controversial matters, who use controversial issues for their own self-serving agenda, which really ensnare the souls of people. As such, I seek to speak out about the spiritual snares that being exposed to such politicking cause.

    Furthermore from someone in a different situation from you, how could you expect such a person to fully understand your circumstances, and therefore call them selfish?



  4. His material is good. Very good. And he doesn’t even come from a supernatural interpretation of Scripture. His lectures on the psychology of the Bible are very very good.

  5. He’s just gotten through a whole series on the Old Testament–look up his blog and see. He doesn’t speak “evangelical”, but he’s got some sort of faith or other. Notice he’s thanking God consistently in this talk Combine those two things; his thanking God could be just “country and western Christianity”, or it could be real faith and he’s simply not comfortable “speaking evangelical.” His series on the OT pushes me towards the latter.

  6. It amazes me how Jordan Peterson can calmly sit and have people try to impute an agenda to him in an attempt to discredit his point of view. He just keeps methodically repeling their ad hominem attacks to their frustration. I like watching both him and Ben Shapiro at work. Someone else you may be interested in is Betinna Arndt.

    Here are both Jordan and Betinna together.

    Glad to see you still posting. I’ve been on hiatus for too long.

  7. Hi Dan!!!!!! Yes, still posting, just at a much slower pace these days due to (I guess 😉 ) our increasing amount of kids ❤ and all the things that go into keeping the home and everything. I love it though, and I love having that "too busy to post," feeling, so it is good. I hope you're doing well 🙂 .

    Yes, Jordan Peterson handles attacks or severe criticism admirably well, which only makes his accusers that much more angry 🙂 .

    And I have a lot of respect for Ben Shapiro, he puts his entire life and reputation on the line for calling out feminist lies. I've never watched/heard Arndt, though, thank you for the suggestion 🙂 .

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