This past couple of weeks have gotten increasingly hard around our house. I’ve made it to 37 1/2 weeks, but wow!!! I’ll just say it’s been a brutal couple of weeks and feel like I have a ways to go still. We only need to make it until next Friday (10 days), but handling two – just two!!! – active and loud kids has become embarrassingly hard now. We know several families who have many more (4, 5, 6, even one family with 9!!!). And yet here I am, struggling with only 2! I have the hardest time walking in the afternoon/evening, and had made plans in my head a few weeks earlier that once Summer started, we were going to go out everyday and have fun at a water park we’re close to, but I soon realized that all that walking, being in the heat, and not even being able to really handle well our toddler’s tantrums when I’m out, would have made those plans nearly impossible. That or they’d have possibly made the baby come early. So home it’s been for the most part, and the baby is so low I feel like she could just fall out. :O
With all this going on, I’ve been really struggling with whining and complaining to my husband about any and everything. I hate hearing myself complain, as I’m sure most people do. It makes you feel like a failure and feel worse than before (at least for me). But in these last stages where there’s so much pain at the end of the night, mostly where her head is putting “lots” (doctor’s own words!) of pressure on my cervix, I feel bad that he’s had to hear about all the pain and stress and frustration with our kids, after he’s just dealt with annoying people and criminals for several hours and is exhausted, too.
I’m working on trying to find peace and really asking God to help me better endure this short time left of the pain, and the difficulty of managing the other two kids with less of an attitude that I shouldn’t have it “so hard.” This article was great for dealing with toddlers when they’re “driving you nuts!” Getting help from my mom has been a God-send for me during this time ❤ and knowing my husband will be taking a month off after she’s born is so comforting. And tactic #9 was used today, as both kids had high fever viruses and the little one had an ear infection. Taking him in to the dr. while having contractions off and on was ridiculous, but my mom came with me and we got through it somehow.
We also had a false alarm yesterday, contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes and I forgot to wait it out to see if they’d go away, and instead drove to the hospital with the kids (while contracting… probably not the smartest idea). My labor with our toddler came that way when it was his time to be born, and he was coming so fast the Dr. on call had to come in immediately to do the c-section. This time though, the nurses and my Dr. said I was definitely having contractions, but by an hour or two later, they had gotten much less frequent and it wasn’t really labor. We’re supposed to wait for a c-section in 10 days anyway, but our babies just tend to come on their schedule!
So all this being said, I’m really trying to find some sort of spiritual blessing or something I can cling to that will help me get through with a better attitude until she arrives. Some things I’ve thought about:
- It’s hard right now physically (and emotionally) to be so pregnant and have a toddler, but that also means she’s so close to coming
- Perseverance is a good thing… right? LOL Paul did say about our sufferings (not that this would really count to most people as a true suffering, maybe I’m a wimp but… ) that perseverance leads to character, and character leads to having hope.
- Patient enduring of trials is good, even if it’s hard and not pleasant
- Trials don’t seem to last forever, usually they come and go, and this particular one is so temporary, and there’s such a blessing at the end – a new baby! – to look forward to.