Pregnancy, Pain, & Frustration

This past couple of weeks have gotten increasingly hard around our house.  I’ve made it to 37 1/2 weeks, but wow!!!  I’ll just say it’s been a brutal couple of weeks and feel like I have a ways to go still.  We only need to make it until next Friday (10 days), but handling two – just two!!! – active and loud kids has become embarrassingly hard now.  We know several families who have many more (4, 5, 6, even one family with 9!!!).  And yet here I am, struggling with only 2!  I have the hardest time walking in the afternoon/evening, and had made plans in my head a few weeks earlier that once Summer started, we were going to go out everyday and have fun at a water park we’re close to, but I soon realized that all that walking, being in the heat, and not even being able to really handle well our toddler’s tantrums when I’m out, would have made those plans nearly impossible.  That or they’d have possibly made the baby come early.  So home it’s been for the most part, and the baby is so low I feel like she could just fall out. :O

With all this going on, I’ve been really struggling with whining and complaining to my husband about any and everything.  I hate hearing myself complain, as I’m sure most people do.  It makes you feel like a failure and feel worse than before (at least for me).  But in these last stages where there’s so much pain at the end of the night, mostly where her head is putting “lots” (doctor’s own words!) of pressure on my cervix, I feel bad that he’s had to hear about all the pain and stress and frustration with our kids, after he’s just dealt with annoying people and criminals for several hours and is exhausted, too.

I’m working on trying to find peace and really asking God to help me better endure this short time left of the pain, and the difficulty of managing the other two kids with less of an attitude that I shouldn’t have it “so hard.”  This article was great for dealing with toddlers when they’re “driving you nuts!”  Getting help from my mom has been a God-send for me during this time ❤ and knowing my husband will be taking a month off after she’s born is so comforting.  And tactic #9 was used today, as both kids had high fever viruses and the little one had an ear infection.  Taking him in to the dr. while having contractions off and on was ridiculous, but my mom came with me and we got through it somehow.

We also had a false alarm yesterday, contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes and I forgot to wait it out to see if they’d go away, and instead drove to the hospital with the kids (while contracting… probably not the smartest idea).  My labor with our toddler came that way when it was his time to be born, and he was coming so fast the Dr. on call had to come in immediately to do the c-section.  This time though, the nurses and my Dr. said I was definitely having contractions, but by an hour or two later, they had gotten much less frequent and it wasn’t really labor.  We’re supposed to wait for a c-section in 10 days anyway, but our babies just tend to come on their schedule!

***

So all this being said, I’m really trying to find some sort of spiritual blessing or something I can cling to that will help me get through with a better attitude until she arrives.  Some things I’ve thought about:

  • It’s hard right now physically (and emotionally) to be so pregnant and have a toddler, but that also means she’s so close to coming
  • Perseverance is a good thing… right?  LOL  Paul did say about our sufferings (not that this would really count to most people as a true suffering, maybe I’m a wimp but… ) that perseverance leads to character, and character leads to having hope.
  • Patient enduring of trials is good, even if it’s hard and not pleasant
  • Trials don’t seem to last forever, usually they come and go, and this particular one is so temporary, and there’s such a blessing at the end – a new baby! – to look forward to.
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12 thoughts on “Pregnancy, Pain, & Frustration

  1. beauty and joy and pain and endurance all wrapped up together. it is a season, as you well know.

    however, it is pointless to compare yourself to others. we’re all different, have different thresholds at different times in our lives, and we each have to deal with what’s on our own plate.

    good that your sweet Mamma is close and can help. perhaps she can be a sounding board, too, so you can get out what you need to before your husband comes home? men have such a hard time when they can’t ‘fix’ us.

    toddler tantrums … and he senses the tension in you during these last days of pregnancy and is feeding off it. probably feels your contractions, too. and he’s reacting to it all. tis also a season.

    you are loved and beloved, and even though this is hard, it is still wrapped in beauty and joy. if you ever need another ear, email me and i’ll give you my phone number. i sleep such weird hours i’d be glad to listen anytime 🙂

  2. Yes, Ame! She is definitely my sounding board, and I’m so blessed that she lives pretty close! Thanks for the reminder that I can vent easier to her than to my husband! My brain is so foggy these days, I’m not even thinking clearly about things like that.

    I totally get what you’re saying about not comparing myself to other moms with more kids. How crazy that I know better and yet still do that at times! I think I feel just more sympathy for them knowing that if it’s hard with 2, I’m sure they’ve been through the wringer with 6 to 9 kids! I know a mom with 6 and pregnant with her 7th, and she’s really struggled this past year with depression and anxiety and yet is coming out so well from it all. But knowing she was going through those struggles while being pregnant with the 7th made me really feel for her and offer to help in any way possible (even clean her house for her!).

    And thank you for the encouragement ❤ I love emailing you, you are so down to earth and a joy to talk to. It's weird how you understand the struggles I go through so well, and know just what to say.

    Thanks Ame!

  3. ahhh, thank you, Sweetie!

    pregnancy ‘brain’ is real! you’re doing a great job, Mamma. this part will be over soon, you’ll have a couple months to adjust to a new baby in the home, and then you’ll be able to address deeper issues such as toddler tantrums, etc. there are simply some days of motherhood that we just endure till we can get a better stronghold on things. and that is okay 🙂

  4. btw – i think positive pregnancy tests should come with cases of toilet paper, batteries (for all those toys that come ‘batteries not included’), and easier to understand assembly instructions for everything that comes needing to be assembled 🙂

  5. Our baby, who was due last week, came instead at the beginning of April. We were expecting, about now, to have a new born in the house. Instead we have an unusually precocious two month old who loves screaming, hates sleeping, and smiles and giggles all the time. The trial that lead to the early birth was exhausting and God owed us nothing good at the end of it, but here we are, sleepier and happier than we could have guessed!

    My wife and I will pray for you guys.

  6. Wow that is hard! I’m so glad your baby was so strong!

    Our first came at 36 weeks and was kind of an emergency as my amniotic fluid was leaking., NICU was hard, but he wasn’t there for very long.

    I’m so glad your baby was fine! And thank you for the prayers 🙂

  7. When she was born, she screamed so loudly when the big fear was that her lungs wouldn’t be developed. So her screams, for us, hold almost no negative emotional value. That was a strange turn of providence. Because we knew for about 14 days she’d be in the NICU for up to 6 weeks we weren’t too saddened by it…but what shocked us was when they sent her home 3 days later! We were like “we haven’t slept for over two weeks!” (wife was in the hospital and I was working).

  8. Wow only 3 days in NICU!!!! I’m so glad for y’all that she was so strong and ready!!

    And that is SO sweet that her screams hold no negative emotions because of all that ❤ Very sweet… *sniff* *tear*!

    Congrats and again, thank you so much for your prayers.

  9. Thank you for sharing your heart and being transparent. I pray the Lord will comfort you as you head towards the finish line!!

  10. As the one who is pregnant, we wives need to focus on developing a healthy baby. it’s okay when a pregnant woman complains and is fussy. She’s growing a new life inside her body.
    Women should not worry about their hubby and his fragile ego during one of her most stressful and uncomfortable times. He should be worrying about her as she is the one who is pregnant. God tells husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way.
    So often, book and article writers tell wives to know about things their husband needs. Well this is now the time when marriage article and book writers should be talking about what the wife needs.

    You see how precious wives are?

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