Christians Aren’t Called to “Have Great Sex” – They’re Called to Have Bad Sex

A couple of years ago, Relevant Magazine did an article telling their Christian audience that they were not “called to have great sex in marriage.”

I read it because a friend that was in a serious relationship had recommended it, but I was very bothered by what I found.  The article presented some truths for sure, one being that sex is not what marriage is all about, and this is right of course, if you marry only for sex and don’t seek a partner that has good character then you are in for a difficult marriage (and the good sex will quickly disappear).  But in Relevant Magazine’s attempt to help marriages, they missed the point of sex being one of the most important things in a marriage, and often the glue that holds a marriage together.

Why was the article written to help marriages in such a way that it actually discourages Christian couples from having “amazing” sex?

It was a response to a very strange article by a millennial woman, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, about how her virginity (her desire to remain abstinent until marriage), actually ruined the sex in her marriage.  Relevant Mag links to her article, and tries to say that:

While the movement is great at detailing— and exaggerating—the benefits of saving sex for marriage, it is dishonest about the challenges abstinence presents to couples who eventually tie the knot.
Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/christians-are-not-called-have-amazing-sex#go0He8SXx5qZE8bh.99

In more careful reading of the linked article written by Jessica about how her virginity ruined her future marriage, it was fairly shocking for my husband and I to read the level of disdain she held toward her young husband, even on their honeymoon.  She had no interest in sex, no desire to learn about how to make it better, no desire for it with her husband (even though she did desire it while they were dating), and in my husband’s words, “she completely undermined the possibility of their marriage by checking out of their sex life.”  She admit it herself that she caused the problem, it was like she became an a-sexual being overnight, and wanted nothing to do with being sensual – to her marriage’s detriment!  But then she blames the abstinence movement for her lack of motivation to learn together with her husband, or to try new things.  As soon as she divorced her husband, she writes that she became sexual again.

This was not a case of the abstinence movement being “dishonest” about the challenges couples who marry without sexual experience will face, this is a case of a person in a marriage who is not putting forth the right attitude, desire, and effort to create a good sex life.

Her entire focus, however, is that her abstinence pledge that was supposed to create a “strong marraige,” only led to a “quick divorce.”

*

Relevant Mag needed to point out the real issues couples who wait until marriage to have sex may have, but also the attitude, willingness, and desire to fix her marriage sex life (or even participate in it) that was completely missing from Jessica as a Christian woman.

Instead of the message being: abstinence creates issues, and you’re not called to have great sex anyway; it could have more effectively been:

Abstinence may create issues, that happens when both partners don’t know much about a subject (sex), but in a good marriage, you will constantly face trials like this in many different areas (money, in-laws, job changes, deaths, miscarriages) and have to figure out how to overcome them.

It comes down to a willingness to learn and love each other.  Instead of checking out of your sex life just because it isn’t what you imagined, working to create a beautiful sex life, is the path to take.

 

Advertisements

34 thoughts on “Christians Aren’t Called to “Have Great Sex” – They’re Called to Have Bad Sex

  1. Dragonfly,
    I read that post a while ago and J thought it was ridiculous as u did. There answers to young lady were wrong. U are right that all marriages will face bumps in the road but if couples have the desire to please each other and most importantly please God who meant for couples to enjoy sex they can fix this with time, patience and communication.

    Also in the area of enjoying sex I think this young woman demonstrates that women and their attitude toward sex are often there own greatest obstacle to enjoying sex with their husbands

  2. When I hear a ridiculous reason like that, it makes me wonder if she didn’t know all the time that she was fabricating an excuse. Actually, I don’t wonder much. Had she said that the honeymoon was rough because she had chosen to believe some false things about sex, that would be a credible story. But, after the honeymoon, love would’ve moved her to get things straightened out for her husband’s sake, if not for her own and her marriage’s sake.

    I don’t think it is women’s attitudes about sex that are the issue in general. I think that when a woman in a marriage that may even be completely egalitarian may see sex as something in which there is submission and responsibility to her husband. She has to be willing to let his desire, love, and body become something that she takes care of. Of course, the husband should be doing the same for the wife. However, many women don’t bother to see that part. Those women seem to be busy getting offended by the “requirement” to do him. Things won’t be good with that attitude even when there is sex.

    When I read that woman’s article a while back, it was my opinion that she simply regarded her husband with contempt. When she described that she had wanted sex before marriage, and then again after marriage that confirmed it for me. She thinks sex is fine, but you *can’t* make her do it. The minute it’s sex with her husband, she is offended by that husband’s right to expect her to be available and sexual towards him on the whole (not talking about every time, not being allowed to say “no”, etc.).

  3. Just wanted to ask… This desire to please each other and how it manifests with candid words and real effort to fix problems. Is there a word, a name for that? I’ve been calling it a lack of good will, but that doesn’t really cut it. I think when that isn’t there, someone is being defrauded of honor, respect. and love. It’s a very big deal, and sounds to me like grounds for divorce. So, am I just wrong? Or is it important enough that it has a name and I just don’t know it? When I’ve searched the web for this topic, I don’t get anything of value.

  4. Lover of Israel, that’s a great question! I don’t know… on my second cup of coffee, hopefully my brain kicks on soon. Liz and Buena Vista would be excellent commenters to ask, they’re the real writers, or maybe someone else can offer some insight here. I bet there is a word….

  5. Yes I absolutely agree married couples should be getting it on and enjoying the heck out of it! That’s a primary reason for marriage, after all! A big perk for sure!

    To marry and then try to impose celibacy on one’s partner or to willingly deny their sexual needs while at the same time demanding fidelity is IMHO totally cruel and abusive. A power trip. Destructive. What fun is that? especially compared to having lots of fun figuring out how to have great sex w your spouse??? 🙂 those are good times!

    Our society gets it backwards, encouraging women to explore their sexuality outside of marriage yet be celibate w/i marriage. Nutty!

    My kid’s babysitter is from a rather closed religous sect similar to Amish. I never asked but am quite sure she was a virgin when she married,I’d bet money on it. After the honeymoon that girl showed up covered in hickeys and blushing for weeks! She had the priorities straight, it was so cute! And while she would never talk about something so private, I bet they have a very active sex life!

  6. Also, I think sometimes in religous families the “be celibate!” And “sex is wrong (outside marriage) unfortunately carries over into marriage. A lot of religous people seem to think enjoying sex, even wi marriage, is wrong. Blurkel said his wife is such… She thinks it’s “slutty.” 😦

  7. Yes, I agree, this article actually goes the other way though, and says that people (Christians) constantly saying that sex in marriage is (and should be) amazing are what is creating the problem. The author of the Relevant Magazine article would say that yours and my advice is what is contributing to the pain of couples that are “just not compatible.” The author even complains that if your sex life isn’t good, then you’re expected to go find good sex books that can help out. And my husband and I were like, “Yes, you DO have a responsibility to figure it out and read all you can and learn how to have a good sex life lol”

  8. I just read the article that one was in reaction to and that girl’s head was all sorts of messed up :/ her poor husband!

    I don’t see how someone could make the leap to say telling girls like her that it may not be fantastic at first and it may take time and to be *willing* to take that journey together leads to what that gal experienced! :/

    I used to be more “understanding” for lack of a better term about divorce. And yes sometimes (rarely) divorce is best. Butto divor e bc “the she wasn’t good enough” or “I’m not feeling it” or”I’m unhaaaaapy” is not legitimate, in my eyes anymore. I tell women in that situation, “work it out, work thru it!”

    This gal married her friend basically, then was put off when he wanted sex? Sounds likeabadchoice but not reason to divorce and then gofuck bartenders in Costa Rica or whatever it was she said! She sounds very immature and selfish!

  9. Oh I see what you are saying they are saying, that Christians saying sex in marriage can and should be amazing (rather than meh or “ewww”) leads to divorce? Ummmm, no. But I would agree that not having amazing sex each and every time is not a reason TO divorce.

    In many ways marriage is a biz partnership. Many women have gone without “amazing mindblowing sex” within marriage and actually had productive, successful, content lives within those marriages. I’d say people should actively try to make the sex as good as possible and to confront their own hang ups getting in the way of that and such, but that great sex alone a great marriage does not make (but it helps!) We’ve almost gone to far (as a society) with the whole romantic love/swept up/rom com stuff, that it’s now to the point that marriages seem to be based on “feelings” rather than the promise made or commitment to that promise, come what may…

    If that makes sense?

  10. DragonFly,

    Here is there original statement:

    “Although SEX is indeed God’s gift to us, Christians are not directly commanded by God to have great SEX. Couples may find themselves incompatible in the bedroom, and they should not be bombarded with pressure from the Christian community to start having good sex and lots of it. Instead, they should find support and comfort—support that sex is not the only thing that makes a good marriage, and comfort that historically all Christians have been called by God to suffer through numerous trials.”

    Now let’s replace some words and see if they would think as Christians it is still ok:

    “Although COMMUNICATION, KNOWING and TALKING to one another is indeed God’s gift to us, Christians are not directly commanded by God to have great COMMUNICATION, KNOWING and TALKING. Couples may find themselves unable to TALK AND COMMUNICATE, and they should not be bombarded with pressure from the Christian community to start having good TALKS and regular COMMUNICATION. Instead, they should find support and comfort—support that COMMUNICATION, KNOWING and TALKING is not the only thing that makes a good marriage, and comfort that historically all Christians have been called by God to suffer through numerous trials.”

    I highly doubt they would have the same attitude towards couples knowing each other emotionally and talking to one another “a lot” as they do toward sex.

    The fact is God requires married couples to do their BEST to know each other both EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY. Often times sex in the Bible is refereed to “knowing” one’s spouse.

    The Bible may not have a verse saying “Thou shalt have great sex” but it does say “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” – Colossians 3:23 (KJV)

    So that means when God commands men to know our wives(talk to them, know their hopes, fears and concerns) we are required to do that “heartily, as to the Lord”.

    It equally means that when God commands a husband to be “ravished” (Proverbs 5:19) by his wife’s body that means he and she should do that(have sex) “heartily, as to the Lord”.

    Now the fact is that usually men struggle with the emotional side and talking(as us guys can attest to) and women often struggle with the physical side – but we are required by God to communicate and know one another both emotionally and physically.

  11. I have been scratching my head over this one. What worries me is that this is not unususal. That she would be interested before and after the marriage and not while she was in it is telling. To put it bluntly, she is fundamentally a tease.
    She can stay in Costa Rica.
    He poor husband may never take another chance.

  12. Fuzzie, there’s a happy ending for him, he ended up getting married again and in a good marriage this time. I hope it all works out and it really is good.

  13. Dragonfly,
    That is good to hear. An experience like that is enough to put a lot of men off their feed.

  14. Wow, thanks Bloom! Yes, I do see it in a business kind of way in how a marriage or family needs to be run – just by necessity there has to be order and duty. You’re right, it’s almost too “feelings” based, when feelings aren’t bad at all, but there needs to be a level-headed reality that there will be problems and we need to have the willingness to look for solutions to them.

    There’s nothing wrong in my mind in having to go to a book to learn about marriage – that’s how I ended up NOT totally ruining my marriage was reading a lot of books. :/

  15. Lots of different ways things can go wrong in this as in other areas of life, of course, but I suspect in many cases the psychology of the problem is well-represented by this C S Lewis passage, describing his fictional character Jane Studdock:

    “To avoid entanglements and interferences had long been one of her first principles. Even when she had discovered that she was going to marry Mark if he asked her, the thought “but I must keep my own life” had arisen at once and had never for more than a few minutes at a stretch been absent from her mind. Some resentment against love itself, and therefore against Mark, for thus invading her life, remained…this fear of being invaded and entangled was the deepest ground of her determination not to have a child–or not for a long time yet.”

    From my review of the book: These attributes of Jane’s personality are meant to embody, in Lewis’s worldview, the specifically female incarnation of the Hideous Strength (the phrase is from a poem about the Tower of Babel)–the desire for absolute domination and control over all aspects of life.

    http://chicagoboyz.net/archives/43802.html

  16. @ Dragonfly people said the same about my reading lots of parenting books when I was expecting. I think learning new and different things is good! The Joy of Sex and such, every married couple could have that mind of helpful advice, I’d say. Better than learning from pron or something that’s just acting!

  17. I think honestly a lot of couples struggle sexually. The difference is between those who give up and those who persevere. My husband and I had a rough start with sex and even now things aren’t like he wants them d/t pregnancy limitations. We had a hard but necessary conversation the other day where he told me he felt “demoralized” by our sex life. It was very difficult for me to hear after all we had been through (and in some ways especially, what I had gone through physically to get to the point where we could have sex). But it was good to hear where he was at.

    I think wives need to realize that there are going to be difficulties in sex and things aren’t going to be fixed magically overnight BUT there are things they can do to help it and most men will respond positively to efforts even if the results aren’t amazing right away. My husband told me that a lot of the time I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I think I had convinced myself I was. I also found that I had subconsciously slipped back into gate-keeping some ways that previously I had become comfortable with. Just by focusing on these two things, my husband is already happier and I feel like some extra life has been breathed into our sexual relationship.

    So all to say, I don’t blame this women for having sexual difficulties (although I don’t blame virginity at the start of marriage for them). How she chose to deal with them (or avoid them in this case) was a completely un-Biblical response and I’m glad to hear her ex-husband is in a better place.

  18. “Liz and Buena Vista would be excellent commenters to ask”

    I think I’ve just reached the pinnacle of validational nirvana with the mention of my name next to BV’s in the context of “writing”. I should rest on my laurels with that and never type a thing again, anywhere. Nowhere to go but down from there. 😛
    Honestly though, the only word that comes to my mind that would seem to fit:
    “This desire to please each other and how it manifests with candid words and real effort to fix problems. Is there a word, a name for that? I’ve been calling it a lack of good will, but that doesn’t really cut it.”

    Is simply Love (the verb). That’s what love, the action word, is.
    Still contemplating my response to the rest and I haven’t gone through all the posts yet. Will add more later. 🙂

  19. I’m so sorry, Anna 😦 . Pregnancy sex does make it difficult, especially in the last 3 months… I love having babies, but I really dislike the latter part of pregnancy, and a lot of it has to do with how it impacts our intimacy in our marriage. It feels incredibly long at that point, and it is… 9 to 10 months out of 12! You’re just really limited to only a few positions and feel so uncomfortable almost 100% of the time. There’s no relief from getting that huge weight that you’re not used to carrying around off of your body – BUT for me it was good to remember that it was a sacrifice, somehow thinking of it that way made it easier to not be annoyed or resentful. And feeling the baby move and kick is like heaven on earth!!! It’s all worth it in the end, and realizing that really helps as well. I think the expectations and such gets easier after your first as well… I bet your next pregnancy will be a little easier for you to figure out ways to cope.

    But that’s great that your husband let you know how he was feeling! I really love to know what my husband truly thinks, even if once he’s told me, it’s painful. It’s kind of part of compromise in communicating how you and he are feeling…. With the pregnancy, it can be good to know his thoughts (especially that he feels demoralized) just in case there could be any changes that could be made… and if there really aren’t somehow, at least you can hold him and love him and be compassionate. (And since this is so personal if you want to talk about it in email, I’ll send you an email).

    I love how you reacted at the beginning of your marriage with that pretty huge trial you went through. Your attitude was inspiring, because your love for your husband showed so much. And then how you’re open and willing to hear him out now, even though it’s painful to hear – that is beautiful humility! It is really hard to hear from our husbands that we are failing them in some way. My husband just told me something like that last week, that he felt like I didn’t completely appreciate how hard he has to work and that I have a bad attitude sometimes about his schedule – and even though I greatly appreciate what he does, it’s true that I don’t always show it, and if I’m not showing it by having an attitude of entitlement or ungratefulness, then obviously at that moment, I’m NOT appreciating all he’s doing. But it’s good to hear from him how he really feels about my actions, that way I can change something. We change these things because we don’t want our husbands to have to go on living like that – feeling like we’re not appreciating them or loving them.

    For me, it’s very good to have a husband that will keep me grounded – especially since I’ve written so much about marriage lol… it’s kind of hilarious and awful that I still make mistakes or have a bad attitude at times. We’re human, so even though I know without a doubt, from the way you reacted with your husband at the beginning of your marriage and hearing you now, that you love him incredibly and want him to be satisfied, we’re constantly failing to be perfect. It’s like what Paul said in Romans 7 about wanting so badly to do the right thing but failing. We aren’t perfect, and that’s why it’s good to hear our husband’s thoughts on what their reality is, no matter how great we think we’re doing.

    I’ve read your husband’s comments before ❤ and believe me Anna, it sounds like he loves you insanely (it's very romantic to hear him talk about your relationship and marriage). So give yourself a little grace. I'm sure he does, and I'm sure he greatly appreciates your ability to hear him out even if you don't want to really hear it because it's painful. We can't be perfect, no matter how hard we try, and if we live under the law of doing everything right all the time, Galatians 3 says that we'll be living under a curse. This is why we need to have grace with each other.

  20. Anna: “I think wives need to realize that there are going to be difficulties in sex and things aren’t going to be fixed magically overnight BUT there are things they can do to help it and most men will respond positively to efforts even if the results aren’t amazing right away. My husband told me that a lot of the time I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I think I had convinced myself I was. I also found that I had subconsciously slipped back into gate-keeping some ways that previously I had become comfortable with. Just by focusing on these two things, my husband is already happier and I feel like some extra life has been breathed into our sexual relationship.

    So all to say, I don’t blame this women for having sexual difficulties (although I don’t blame virginity at the start of marriage for them). How she chose to deal with them (or avoid them in this case) was a completely un-Biblical response and I’m glad to hear her ex-husband is in a better place.”

    I agree, Anna. Good thoughts. 🙂
    I’m very sorry to hear that you and your husband are encountering difficulties on the sex front. I didn’t feel very amorous during my pregnancies either. I didn’t like my pregnant body, and wasn’t really there psychologically. And, I think I’ve mentioned before that although I am very into my husband and attracted to him and we have a very good sex life, his libido far outpaces mine (even now, though we are probably more alligned now than ever before).

  21. Just to add (maybe it will help someone out there) one thing I really needed to improve on since our libidos weren’t well alligned was my response to him when he tries to initiate sex (too soon, when I’m really not in the mood, ect). My response at the beginning of our marriage used to be something like exasperation (along the lines of “AGAIN?!? Are you frickin’ kidding me?”) in time I learned to be more playful and promising (but “later” or “soon..” and so forth). It should be added in my defense though, my husband has a ridiculous libido.
    For example, he was all dressed for work this morning, and I’m in my “mmm bacon” pig tee shirt and lounging pants, just dropped off the kids at school. He wants sex! Yesterday, fellatio in the morning, and GREAT sex right before bed…I hadn’t even showered this morning and he wants it again. I told him, tonight, dear…

  22. I will add that while I think it is great for married people (and especially woman to woman as there seems to be a greater need for that) to write and talk about how wonderful sex in a marriage can be, there are some people who I think unintentionally set couples up for failure. My older sister was told by multiple people that honeymoon sex was the best sex ever as an attempt to get her more psyched up for her wedding (which really wasn’t necessary at the time lol). The result was she felt completely terrible about sex the whole honeymoon long because, let’s face it, most first sex attempts aren’t that great. I’m not sure if part of that was what happened to this woman and she didn’t handle the disappointment well. That’s why I wanted BGR to post my story because there is no doubt in my mind that right now some woman somewhere is in the exact same situation and is bawling her eyes out about it when the solution really can be so simple. It’s amazing to me how when I’m a little more open with people about it, how many people have turned around and said “oh wow, we had problems like that too”. In the moment, I definitely felt like I was the only woman in the world who was dysfunctional like that and that is completely untrue!

    I think what Dragonfly writes about is wonderful and true, but I do think that some people do carry the tune “as long as your a virgin when you’re married, sex will be wonderful”, and then when it’s not perfect at first, people blame virginity. My coworkers who found out I was a virgin prior to marriage (there’s no such thing as TMI among nurses lol) asked if I was worried that our wedding night would be awkward. I told them that I kinda expected the first time I had sex to be awkward, but it might as well be with someone who already knew me, loved me, and was committed to me. Because if the virgin lie is being spread around, another lie is that if you’re with a rich handsome stranger for the first time, everything will be magical. And from what some of my friends who tried that have told me, that is most certainly not true as well. It’s amazing what we can convince ourselves about sex when God really intended it to be so simple.

  23. I do believe that sex is meant to be saved until marriage, and I do actually believe that this makes it better.

    Of course that doesn’t mean that it will be amazing right at first necessarily, but it is much better for God’s plan to be followed, which is to have sex in it’s purity, with no baggage.

    And of course it doesn’t mean that God can’t redeem sex for people who weren’t virgins and didn’t save themselves for marriage.

    But it’s not a lie that sex is better (in the long run and overall, emotionally and physically and relationally with your husband) if you save it for marriage.

  24. “But it’s not a lie that sex is better (in the long run and overall, emotionally and physically and relationally with your husband) if you save it for marriage.”

    I should probably explain more on why I think this…. Phew, here we go:

    I believe this is true (and not a lie) because I know it’s God’s plan for us. It also just makes common sense that if you don’t have all this emotional and psychological baggage from having sex before marriage, then it’s like a clean slate. We still live in a fallen world, so it can still be corrupted or misused even in marriage if a spouse is abusive obviously, but that doesn’t negate that it is better because it’s God’s perfect plan for His children.

    Coming to marriage as a virgin makes sex better in marriage because it protects us from all kinds of things – ranging from disease, to heartache, to mental blocks that cause dysfunction, to unhealthy views of how sex will be always, to even comparing our husbands to past lovers (and vice versa). When I got married as a virgin, I knew all the things my friends and acquaintances had been through regarding sex outside of marriage, and I knew I had saved myself the drama and heartache and pain from not having those kinds of unnecessary encounters. I was truly grateful that I came to our marriage with this clean slate, and able to build upon it a beautiful sex life from the beginning. And it was purposeful, because we had books and were learning (and praying) for it to blossom together. It was like growing a beautiful garden together, and I felt very sad for the women who would come to their marriages having felt used before regarding sexual encounters, and would have more work to do than we had. Again, I believe God can redeem their past, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t consequences and pain before the redemption.

    Women who have been promiscuous and then marry can have desires or fantasies about things old lovers used to (and vice versa with men) that they should have never been exposed to and brought into their marriage. I once read from a Christian woman that she had brought up something to her husband that she wished he would do in bed, something that one of her old lovers had done, and he told her to never compare him or bring up something from her past that was before God convicted her, or it would sabotage their marriage sex life. This goes on more than we admit sadly, because of all the promiscuity, and it’s known now through studies that married people generally feel like they didn’t marry their “best sex.” Their “best sex” was someone in their past! How horrible is that? And what kind of damage would that cause to their marriage for them to even think that way? But if you’re a virgin, you HAVE married your “best sex,” and thankfully aren’t tempted to do things to undermine your marriage like compare your husband to your past lovers.

    So yes, in a multitude of ways, sex is better if you come to a marriage as a virgin. 🙂 It isn’t a lie, just a really complicated topic.

  25. I absolutely believe that sex is better if you come into marriage as a virgin. That is how God intended it after all. Just some people believe that if you are a virgin, sex on the honeymoon will be magical and that’s not true (or at least not necessarily true). It can still be awkward, uncomfortable, and messy.

  26. Read her description of her courting and wedding carefully. Seems that she was able to be affectionate with him….when she was drunk. And when she was drunk, she would do something that counted as “foreplay”, and reject advances like “just the tip doesn’t count”. (by that standard, Monica Lewinsky was a virgin, no?) She then gives away what really happened by noting that she and her husband spent their wedding reception apart and getting drunk, and one of her dream lovers is….an anonymous bartender.

    See a pattern here? Her problem wasn’t virginity, as she was a “virgin in name only” by her own testimony. It was rather that she never really loved or respected her husband or any man, but rather had to get drunk before getting it on.

    My father’s generation had a proverb regarding girls like that; “Candy’s dandy, but liquor’s quicker.” And unless she started throwing up in the morning after you used that formula, they never introduced her to Mom and Dad. They already knew, after all, what kind of wife she would be–one who might succumb to a few drinks with a handsome barkeep or pilot.

    I pity Ms. Henriquez.

  27. It really is sad how some wives seem to only be interested (attracted) to their husbands when alcohol is involved 😦 I’ve heard of this before… very sad.

    I have alcoholics in my family history, and there is just no end to the drama alcohol can create for a family. But even with just using it to feel “sexy” – it’s not good.

  28. Booze is the symptom, not the problem; what’s most likely going on is that these ladies have some inhibitions that they loosen with alcohol. Then they are ashamed of what they’ve done, the inhibition gets stronger, and more liquor is needed to overcome the inhibitions.

    These ladies don’t need to be bashing abstinence or virginity. They need a competent counselor who can help them figure out what their inhibitions are and why. .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s