Trying to Confront a Husband on His Sinful Behavior

This is a GREAT video from the Peaceful Wife!  I love and adore April – how can anyone not love her after seeing her in this video.

Since we’re well into the holidays and these times can add extra stress with family or even our own husbands/wives, this is a great video about responding to other’s sin against you.  No matter who is sinning against you, it is crucial that YOU have self-control, display goodness even toward your offender, display PATIENCE, and LOVE toward your offender.

Listen to April’s words and video (16 minutes), and be refreshed dear, sweet reader!!  She’s got it right, and thank God she is allowing herself to be used in helping others to stay godly, to react godly, and to treat everyone with kindness and respect.

If you feel you are disrespecting your husband though, a video (for singles) that I thought went along with this discussion is also great:


  1. She really is adorable. 🙂
    She mentioned that she was different for the first 14 years of her marriage. I wonder what made her change?
    At any rate, I agree with her and her advice to single girls is spot on in particular.
    Our first and second years of marriage were kind of difficult. Mike explained to me then the concept of irreparable damage and how they things one says can be very detrimental to a marriage.

  2. I wondered that, too… whatever it was, it was a strong conviction!

    You’ve seen what my husband said about our first year… me trying to run away LOL. And his heart starting to turn cold toward me, how he eventually stopped trying to get me to not leave! Once I didn’t have that control/manipulation over him, the dynamic of our marriage changed.

    Those first years are crucial to a marriage in my opinion! They set the framework for the way spouses will relate to each other for the years to come.

    But yes, seeing my husband starting to grow cold toward me – realizing my words/actions were having a lasting effect, that they weren’t just easily erasable – was horrifying, that and acting the way I was – nagging and being disrespectful wasn’t working at all, but causing the opposite of what I wanted. So yes… the faster a woman understands those BASIC concepts, the better off she will be in getting closer to the heart of her husband. 🙂

  3. I do look back with some shame at my early marriage behavior. It wasn’t egregious, but I definitely approached things then in a way I would not approach them now. But we both did. I know he feels the same.
    All part of growing up and becoming a family. People change, and I think this woman, April, goes to the heart of the matter on how a couple can grow together rather than apart.

    I’m reminded of the cover of a book on success entitled, “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”. I’ve never read it so I cannot vouche for the contents but the picture was apropos for a lot of things, to include marriage I think. It showed a man at the top of one ladder reaching up to another, higher one that was out of reach. The storms of life will inevitably require much stronger stuff than the rookie level dating that led to marriage in the first place. But it also brings you to a higher plane of “togetherness”. There’s an intimacy that comes with the raising of a family, shared memories, and the bond that forms with a deepest level trust (that is earned with effort, not just given).

  4. Yes, that makes sense – both people grow and mature for sure – or at least they should. I just think that since women in our culture are increasingly self-entitled, and almost taught to treat their husbands like children or second-class citizens in their own homes, a lot of the success of a marriage now a days depends on the wife’s own emotional and spiritual maturity. I think April does a great job of explaining ways a wife can disrespect her husband and not even know she’s doing it, but also how to respond if her husband really is sinning against her. And it all focuses on the wife changing HERSELF before anything in her life can get better.

    That book sounds so interesting, Liz, I’ve heard that kind of message before somewhere too.

  5. A good woman or the one who treats her husband mean-spirited?

    If you’re asking how one finds a good woman… my brother just asked me that this morning! :/ It really is hard, he’s given me the green light to write about a recent bad experience with a woman… it really is like finding a unicorn.

  6. Dragonfly

    You should write that article.
    Obviously, I would want someone like April. I don’t need a servant/maid. I know how to clean and cook. I just need someone who can make a covenant relationship and stick to it (aka marriage).

  7. Oh ok, yes, I think most men want a wife that is respectful and acts like April. It’s ironic how easy to please you men really are! And it’s sad how hard it is by nature for women to just do this!

    What she’s trying to do, help women understand what men really want from their wives, is great and life-changing. I think every wife who becomes a loving wife to her husband admits that there was once a time where this was a struggle for her. I’m extremely lucky and blessed that our first year I worked in a Christian bookstore so that I had access to godly wisdom all around me in the form of books. They helped me remember how men communicate so differently, how to show them respect that they so crave, and how nagging and acting like they’re more of a girlfriend in how they express themselves only makes communication harder and less fulfilling. So a lot of these issues for us were dealt with that first year of marriage! Part of April’s testimony is admitting that she lived for 15 years being a disrespectful wife, and she truly thought she was being godly and loving towards her husband! I’ve heard that this is more the common case – that wives often live for years being an “unsubmissive wife” before they wake up and see their sin. Our marriage is extremely rare in that we discovered these things within the first year and were able to model and teach it to other couples by our example.

    A good thing to look for is someone who is open to learning and reading about marriage. Not every book has everything right, but many books have good tips and ideas and basic truths regarding what’s respectful and what isn’t. Maybe I’ll make a compilation of all the books I’ve read that had parts that really helped our marriage. If a woman you’re dating is open to reading books like that together during an engagement period (as part of pre-marital counseling even) that would be a good sign that she has a teachable spirit, and earnestly wants to learn and make her marriage the best it can possibly be.

  8. I think it’s a good idea to confront the husband about sins. Nowadays, most people just bail on their marriage. If the husband is doing something wrong, the woman complains on Facebook.

    What books do you recommend?

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