My son has started Kindergarten this year, it is our first experience with having a child in the school system in America, and it has definitely been an interesting journey. Although we’ve opted for a different kind of school than normal, one by several of our friends’ admissions, is more “boy-orientated,” as opposed to structured to favor more feminine behavior, my husband has been particularly upset by the still prevalent, undeniably female emasculation of boys.
To put more bluntly, our American schools seem like they’re doing everything they can to get our boys to become less masculine. We are faced with the task of parenting boys (we have 2 now) who at every turn it seems, are being constantly told that they need to be less male. To embrace the feminine. That there’s nothing wrong with them misunderstanding their gender. That they can in fact, undergo surgery to become a woman, and will be lauded as a hero.
So let me explain… we picked a school based on it’s prestige of focusing on science and technology. Our friends who have or have had their boys in this school are extremely happy with it. The school provides smaller classes and teachers that are more able to bend the “rules” to “allow” for the typical boy behavior (and documented scientific need) to move around in order to be able to actually learn what they need to. When the boys get older, they have the option of entering exciting things like Robotics Club, Lego Club, and even are able to experiment at such a young age at learning how to build real amazing rockets! This school is great, and yes, my husband wanted more than anything for me to do all I could (turn in all the papers on time, fill out the online applications, etc) last year to be able to get him into it.
It started with my husband and I seeing that our son would receive a color to represent his behavior in school each day. This is the color chart below… take a look and try to tell me that our schools (even schools geared towards boys!) aren’t trying undeniably to feminize our boys:
- PINK = Outstanding
- PURPLE = Great Choices
- BLUE = Good Choices
- GREEN = Ready to Learn
- YELLOW = Warning
- ORANGE = Consequence
- RED = Parent Contact
The first day, and for the first month or so, our son hovered on Blue or Green, with one Yellow in the entire month. Every day it became a discussion of him telling me that he really really wanted to get Pink… that he wanted to receive their treat at the end of the year for getting into their Pink & Purple Club Party. He stressed about it, and each day when he saw he had Blue or Green, he was disappointed in himself.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for rating behavior to some degree, schools need to give kids feedback on where they’re at. At my elementary school, you know in the 90’s (holla!), we had a simple traffic light model that was used in class. Red, Yellow, and Green, with Green being the best behavior. My husband and I were angry and frustrated that the top two colors were Pink & Purple. He wanted to know who came up with that “idiotic idea,” and even the teacher doesn’t exactly know. It might seem silly to be upset or frustrated at such a small thing, but for our son, this is a major objective (and frustration) in his little life right now. The goal of getting into that ever flippant Pink zone of outstanding behavior, and the lure, as well as the terror that is not being invited to the Teacher’s Pink & Purple Party.
We were walking in a mall recently, looking around at the shops and spotted a girl’s clothing boutique. Guess what the name was? I’ll give you two guesses…
Pink. &. Purple.
You don’ t say?
Well my my… I guess girls really DO hands down almost always love and prefer those two specific colors. But what about boys? Do you ever see a boys’ clothing store named “Pink & Purple?”
Unless there’s some strange attempt at a popular homosexual clothing line that I’ve somehow missed up until now, I believe no such thing exists.
It’s been documented before, many times, that the schools at least here in America are desiring boys to be more feminine in behavior… and not just because girls are easier to manage for the teachers, but as you can clearly see with this color chart even, the feminine behavior is now deemed The Ideal.
The problem with teaching boys that their behavior, their innate, God-given masculine behavior, is undesirable, is that it creates a horrible dilemma inside our boys that wants to reject everything they deem masculine now and in their future.
If the feminine is held up as the golden standard of perfection, then the masculine is automatically falling short.
This self-rejection (or even self-hatred) of their masculinity lasts far beyond their elementary education, and the damaging effects to our society as we produce more and more effeminate men, paired with our girls being pushed to be more aggressive, controlling, pushy, bossy, spoiled, and sexually promiscuous, we end up having an extremely tumultuous society.
Oh… and my son finally got that elusive Pink. We were happy that he had such great behavior, but again, what on earth is this teaching him?