Single Women – Use Common Sense with Make-Up

A couple of weeks ago, there was a youtube video going around social media of a young woman showing the different responses she had from men regarding how she looked with and without makeup.  A friend sent it to me to see what I thought about it, and wow, was it brutal….

I feel for this woman, I really do.  One of the most important things a woman can do for herself regarding her beauty, is to have the best skincare routine possible.  This means getting rid of any acne.  Yes.  Getting RID of it… in this day and age, there is simply no excuse.

If you have a daughter, it is your job to ensure that she understands how to take care of her skin… it is crucial to her future.  My parents made sure I saw a dermatologist as soon as I started getting a single pimple.  I was given prescriptions and magic potion ointments that gave me gorgeous and flawless skin that I still have today.

I was given knowledge of how to properly take care of my skin.  For a woman, this is paramount to her future.  Acne severely diminishes her attractiveness, even making her look unhealthy or sickly, but with the kinds of ointments and powerful drugs out there, it is no longer an excuse.

Some cases need harsher prescriptions, some need very affordable, light-weight drugs like Tetracycline – extremely affordable, I was able to have clear beautiful skin for $5/month just using Tetracycline.

Mothers, it is your job to teach your daughters to understand how to take care of her skin, but also how men perceive women who over-share their beauty techniques (ie: how a woman hides her flaws, as seen in this video).  It’s not that women can’t have any flaws, it’s that we need to teach our daughters to not be so vulnerable when putting themselves out there.  No one needs to see her beauty tricks if its going to put her in a negative light, this is something that should be kept private as she sorts out how to get rid of her acne (it is doable).

Single women, regardless of it you had a mother who taught you how to use makeup, understand men, or embrace your own femininity, it is now YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to ensure your skincare is under control.

Yes, the men were unnecessarily harsh and cruel to her, but this is the way men feel about a woman hiding her acne underneath perfect makeup.  

They feel lied to.  They think it’s false advertising.  Your daughter needs to know this, she needs to understand that using makeup needs to be done in a tasteful way, and that overall, her skincare (achieving as flawless-skin as possible), is what really matters.  She needs to understand common sense when it comes to men and makeup usage.  They like it, most truly do, but only when it’s not hiding something ugly underneath that they can’t see.  They know makeup makes you look a little better, but they don’t want to feel like you look like a totally different person.

It scares men when you use makeup in this way (and show them your secrets).  It simply does.

Andrew, from The Rules Revisited, did a wonderful article on What Men Think of You Without Makeup that offers some more manly insight!  

From Andrew:

“There is no question that you look better with your hair and makeup done than you do without it. If your boyfriend tells you that you are hotter without it, because he prefers when you “look more natural,” he is either lying or you aren’t doing your makeup correctly. Makeup is designed to make you look better; saying that it doesn’t is like saying that a fresh coat of paint on a house doesn’t make the house look better: it is only true when someone screws up the paint job by using the wrong colors or applying the right ones incorrectly.

In any case, although cosmetics give you an undeniable advantage when it comes to controlling your appearance, they come with the burden of deciding when and where their use is appropriate. The following points explain what men think about seeing you done up or in your natural state, so that you can better choose between the two when that decision proves difficult.

1. He cares about first impressions. We all do. They matter. Initial experiences leave an impression on the mind much deeper than most of those that follow; this is simply the way the human brain works. So make sure you are looking great the first few times you meet him; he will remember it. (Note that I did not say that you should be looking “your best” the first few times you meet him. This is because it is always good to keep a little something in reserve. If your “great” isn’t good enough for him, your “best” probably won’t be either. And even if it were, you would have to be completely focused on your appearance in order to barely keep him interested, making your life a living hell.)

2. He is going to see you without makeup eventually, so don’t make inordinate attempts to avoid being seen bare-faced after the first few dates. By inordinate I mean things like canceling a date because you won’t have time to do your hair perfectly, or completely avoiding a hike with him because full makeup and hair would be inappropriate. I don’t mean spending an hour getting ready for a date. Spending time to make yourself look your best is normal, not inordinate; so err on the side of doing this more frequently rather than less. Just beware that there is an upper limit to the benefit of added effort, since he will see you without makeup eventually.
3. He doesn’t stop wanting to see you done up. There is a misconception among some women that as a relationship develops, a man becomes either (a) less turned on by seeing you done up, or (b) more turned on by seeing you in your natural state. Neither of these are true. In fact, if anything, the opposite is true in both instances, since, as a man grows accustomed to your look, his sex drive starts nagging at him, inclining him to desire other women (though in a good relationship, this is counteracted by emotional investment, time investment, love, etc.) In any case, he certainly doesn’t stop wanting to see you look your best, or grow less disappointed when you reduce the effort you put into your appearance. There is no point at which you can “relax” without implications while you are both sexually active with each other. If this seems unfair, remember the analogy between confidence and beauty: you taking a break from being beautiful for him is like him taking a break from being strong and confident for you. While you could probably sympathize with your man’s desire to relax in this regard, and might even be OK with him showing his weaknesses to you from time to time (see #7 below), you’d prefer to always have him being his strongest, and you wouldn’t be any less turned off by his weakness just because time had elapsed in the relationship.

4. He hates a women whose life is dictated by her appearance. The negative effect of being unwilling to do activities that would require you to not wear makeup (camping, surfing, etc.) by far outweighs the advantage you gain by always being seen at your best – especially considering points #2 and #8.

5. He loves a woman who is confident in her own skin. Confidence is a character trait that both sexes find incredibly attractive in the other (even if women value it more than men) because confidence is rooted in a healthy self-perception and acknowledgement of one’s own self-worth – which all diligent and contentious people have. The attractiveness of your confidence is much more important than whatever advantage you sacrifice by occasionally being seen without makeup.

6. He loves you looking your best during sex. Remember that men are primarily stimulated visually. While there is a certain attraction to being naked with a woman who bares her whole self to you, most of the time a man wants to be sleeping with the hottest woman he can. Again, remember the analogy between confidence and beauty, and consider how you’d feel if your normally confident man man turned into a weak pushover in the sack. I am not saying that you should never have sex without your hair and makeup done. There are some instances in which getting done up just for sex isn’t appropriate, and he’d certainly rather have sex with the “au natural” you than not have sex at all. But when you have the option to get done up, and you find yourself tempted to think “oh, he doesn’t really care” or “we love each other so much it doesn’t matter,” remember this point.

7. There is something intimate about seeing a girl without makeup. When I’ve seen my ex-girlfriends without their hair and makeup done, I’ve had two thoughts: (a) she is less attractive, but (b) it is nice that I get to see this side of her. It is an expression of intimacy – and her confidence – that she can be herself in my presence, and this is worth something. Don’t use this as an excuse to ignore point #3, but allow it to help you if you struggle with point #5.

8. He isn’t expecting you to be as hot without it as you are with it. Men understand that you aren’t going to be as beautiful without your makeup on and hair done. This is expected, and it is factored in to their evaluation of your attractiveness. Yes, there are some women who get more benefit from makeup than others, and it ispossible for a man to be surprised by how much less attractive a girl looks without it. You can avoid falling into this category by understanding your complexion and wearing makeup that is compatible with your natural look; but regardless, know that men definitely hold you to lower standards when you aren’t made up.

A final point is worth noting: a genuinely feminine woman loves looking her best. She takes great pleasure in adorning herself and amplifying her internal beauty via her external beauty. You don’t need to be a supermodel to enjoy this; you simply need to know that you are looking your current best. The more youallow yourself to enjoy looking beautiful, the less you will resent the “need” to do so, and the more comfortable you will feel when you don’t.”
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27 thoughts on “Single Women – Use Common Sense with Make-Up

  1. I had bad skin when I was young, too. I could already tell that the girl in the video had great bone structure, and would look good with makeup (or without it, if her skin were better).
    I can’t really say how easy acne is to treat now…obviously bacteria causes it, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with washing one’s face. It’s deep, caused by inflammation that turns natural flora (propionibacterium acnes is natural flora in the skin…it does not cause breakouts in everyone, it causes breakouts when there is an inflammatory response, or something else is wacked causing an imbalance, hormonal fluctations can do this, and so forth).
    Antibiotics can clear it up, but if a person is susceptible they might have to take antibiotics for years and years which can cause other problems (funguses tend to flourish when the ‘good’ bacteria is killed off, and antibiotics aren’t always selective…especially the cheaper generic varieties). Also, birth control pills don’t work very well when one is taking antibiotics.
    I really feel for boys and girls with bad skin. It’s pretty emotionally traumatizing, honestly. I remember how much my life changed, literally overnight, when my skin cleared up. One of my first memories of the ‘new me’ was on a field trip canoeing, and I walked near some mirror and saw my reflection. I didn’t have makeup on at all, but was tanned after the trip and didn’t recognize myself…I actually thought to myself, “Oh my God that girl is so pretty…who is that? Is she new?” took me a couple of seconds to realize it was me.

    Anyway, to readers out there with bad skin, try changing your diet and see what happens! For me, it was a wheat allergy.

  2. I like the rest of your article too, Dragonflygirl. The first bit just sort of resonated with me.
    🙂
    The comments from Andrew are interesting, too. I like seeing before and after pictures of people with makeup. But Mike says he likes me without any, and I’m about as sure as can be his isn’t lying.
    Maybe I don’t do it right. 😛

  3. Yes, it is like an overnight change for people. They have strong strong drugs now that are topical, and even some that aren’t strong that get the job done. I almost went into Dermatology, and I remember learning so much about all the options that are out there. Many are over the counter now (that weren’t when I was a teen ten years ago). So now… with so many just $20 at the grocery/drugstore, there just isn’t really an excuse. Even for some of the worst possible (imaginable) cases, a dermatologist can clear it up in a matter of months.

  4. No there really are some men that do prefer no makeup I’m sure. Andrew generalizes a lot, and I do think he’s usually right. But there are so many people in world, very hard to generalize like that about particular men’s tastes.

  5. I wouldn’t use the term lightweight drug when talking about using any sort of antibiotic long term. My daughter uses a prescription cream that works well, but there is occasional skin irritation. My own experience with long term antibiotic use and creams was that it reduced the problem, but didn’t totally eliminate it. I don’t ever recall knowing as a teen the potential side effects of taking an antibiotic for years on end.

  6. A lightweight drug could even be a Retinol, Retinoid, Alpha-hydroxy acid, etc. These are also drugs, very affordable, stronger forms can be gotten as a prescription, and aren’t anti-biotics.

  7. Also, just learning the knowledge of how to care for your skin (all the little intricacies of a morning and nightly routine) are crucial to teaching your daughter. Even just for anti-aging. I don’t have time to go into all the details, but there is a lot of info out there on the internet of how to have a top-notch routine for yourself.

    It’s easy. Not doing it is simply lazy and showing that someone doesn’t care about how they present themselves (at the base of it).

  8. It really is a different world now. I remember back to the days of alcohol and some sort of sand scrub. It just irritated the skin and made it worse…it took about a year of different “treatments” before the doctor would be willing to prescribe an antibiotic. It was worse than the chiropractor “we might be able to fix this, but it will take 500 visits!”
    I remember back then I asked if it might be an allergy and the doctors laughed at me.
    Dermatology would be a very interesting field to be in.

  9. A lot of people can’t take retin A though (that was available when I was young, but it really didn’t help for cystic acne…I’m not the only one, I’ve known a lot of people who couldn’t use it due to sensitive skin, most of them eventually got accutane, but that’s some powerful stuff with side effects).

    I agree though, that a LOT can be done. I live in a pretty good area and don’t really see any kids with bad skin here like I did back in my highschool. They must be doing something right. Even our oldest son doesn’t have acne (which is nothing short of miraculous with us as parents…my husband had bad acne in highschool too).

  10. Just thought of another one…lasers. That’s very new and works for a lot of people. They can even purchase anti-acne lasers (blue light, I think?) for home use.

  11. My daughter inherited her maternal grandfather’s unfortunate acne, which he suffered until his death in late middle age. We immediately undertook treatment with a prominent dermatologist, the cost of which was staggering and challenged our credulity, but we trusted the “expert”. (Our daughter was already dealing with the painful adolescent experience of being different, as she was three years younger than her classmates, and reaching puberty later than most, so we thought it necessary to not add another item to her list of self-conscious self-dislike.) Her acne was as bad as that of the woman in the video.

    But we also took a look at a non-prescription product called Proactive. My ex-, in casual conversation with the doctor (who was charging us several hundred dollars per month), mentioned it. The doctor said,

    “Oh yes, that stuff is great!”

    We switched to Proactive and she uses it to this day. Might be worth a look. It’s not cheap, but it’s 10% of the cost of the “professional care.”

  12. Yep. And using routine things like the clarisonic electronic that is under $100. And for how long it lasts, and how well it’s supposed to work (it really does), it’s worth the $100. It’s like brushing your teeth, only for your face.

  13. Yes, Proactive does work. There are many options out there less expensive or less harsh than dermatologist prescriptions. I’m so sorry your daughter experienced that 😦 and the painful adolescence. You probably feel responsible somewhat, as her dad – I know my dad does 😦 I think those experiences create kinder humans though…. I’m sure your daughter is wonderful and probably one of the kindest people one would meet, maybe even intuitive to people’s feelings? Just speculating.

  14. First of all, Dragonfly, you seemed to have completely missed the message of the Pale Skin video. She was trying to show that no matter what she did (wear makeup or go without) people bashed her. This is just more proof of the standards girls today have to live up to. Either you try to be “real” and “natural” and you get bashed for being “ugly” and told to put on some makeup, or you wear makeup to cover your flaws and you’re told that you’re “fake”. How unfair is that?!

    And then you go and blame the girl for the nasty comments she received on social media. Saying she should take better care of herself. Did you research who this girl is? Did you go to her blog? I did. She obviously takes care of herself – she is popular on YouTube for doing makeup tutorials. She obviously knows what she’s doing with makeup. Which, in opinion, means she knows how to take care of herself. She is currently documenting her experience with adult acne. At least she is willing to put her real self out there. On social media she gets bullied for it, and here you are bullying her again. You don’t know what she has gone through and what she is currently doing to help keep her face healthy. Just because someone has acne doesn’t mean they’re not taking care of themselves.

    Secondly, the part of your blog that this Andrew guy wrote – it made me so furious! I can’t believe you agree with what this guy is saying and that you stand behind his words. How horrible it must be for you in your marriage if you feel that you have to maintain a certain standard of beauty for your husband to be attracted to you and stay attracted to you. This is another example of high standards for women – men telling them that they have to look good for their guy. First of all, what a double standard! What about the men? Should women start writing blogs and tips for men so that their girlfriends/wives stay attracted to them? Why do women always get the brunt of things? Why do we have to look good when our husband/boyfriend is dressed in cruddy t-shirts and jeans? Not fair.

    Please, please rethink your position on always looking good for your spouse. If your spouse will only be attracted to you if you have on makeup, your hair is brushed and you are dressed nicely, maybe he’s not the one for you. Your spouse should love you for YOU and be attracted to YOU, not your makeup or your clothes. Yes, my husband likes it when I get dressed up and put lots of makeup on, but he is also attracted to me when I don’t have makeup on and am in yoga pants. He loves me for ME, not the way I look. Just like I love my husband…not because of his looks, but because he shows me affection, he has a great sense of humor, he’s an awesome father and a hard worker. Of course I want him to look nice, but when he’s walking around the house in gym shorts and unwashed hair, I still find him attractive.

    I mentioned to my husband what this Andrew person wrote and he was amazed that a woman would take all that to heart. How unrealistic. I noticed throughout your blog that there are many tags labeled “anti-feminist”. Is that how you see yourself? Are you really thinking that women and men are not equal? That the wife should always look put together, take care of the house and children, and obey their husbands? In the Bible, it says “Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands….” but then in the next verse it says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” I’m sure Christ loves you with or without makeup on. He loves your faults just as much as he loves your beauty. Just as your husband should love you despite your faults.

    I am so blessed to have a husband who takes me as I am. He loves me when I get a pimple on my chin. He loves me with my under-eye circles because I stayed up late with the baby. He loves me when I am wearing yoga pants and shirt with spit up on it because it means I was taking care of his children. He loves me when my hair is washed and styled, and he loves my unwashed hair in a bun. He loved my body before I had children and he loves it now. I hope your husband feels the same way about you. I want him to love you for YOU, and not because you have beautiful, flawless skin, styled hair, and cute outfits. I want him to love you at your worse and your best…just like in your marriage vows.

  15. And then you go and blame the girl for the nasty comments she received on social media. Saying she should take better care of herself. Did you research who this girl is? Did you go to her blog? I did. She obviously takes care of herself – she is popular on YouTube for doing makeup tutorials.

    Hey Rachel… sorry I offended you with this. She gets paid for her youtube videos on this, that much is clear. She’s made it her vocation to have acne, and then show how to cover it up fantastically. There’s nothing wrong with that, except that this is how people feel about it. Are they wrong to be so cruel? Yes. Is it sad? Yes! But I try to show people the truth on my blog of how things are… not how they should be or how any of us wish they should be. The way that she gets paid to do this says a lot. What incentive does she have to get rid of her acne when she’s making so much from it?

    She obviously knows what she’s doing with makeup. Which, in opinion, means she knows how to take care of herself. She is currently documenting her experience with adult acne.

    Yes, she does! And you know, I personally think it’s great if she wants to help other young girls (younger than her) or adult sufferers of acne to look normal by using her talent. But that doesn’t mean she knows how to take care of herself. By definition, she is not taking care of herself. She is putting herself out there for abuse and doing nothing to combat it except for play the victim.

    At least she is willing to put her real self out there. On social media she gets bullied for it, and here you are bullying her again.

    Nope, not bullying her here. I definitely state that she doesn’t deserve that treatment. But I also state the truth that she does not have to put herself out there for abuse. She could turn off the comments if it bothers her that much. She could be an adult about it. I get abusive comments here all the time that I don’t allow through. I don’t make a big scene of it, film a youtube video with me crying about it. I’m an adult, adults don’t behave that way. I’m using it as an example to show young women what men really think, and how dangerous it is TO put yourself out there like that and naively expect people to not abuse you. Her mother should have taught her this, to have boundaries, and to know when someone IS abusing you so that you prevent from happening again. If it’s happening, she needs to stop allowing those comments to come through.

  16. “How horrible it must be for you in your marriage if you feel that you have to maintain a certain standard of beauty for your husband to be attracted to you and stay attracted to you. This is another example of high standards for women – men telling them that they have to look good for their guy. First of all, what a double standard! What about the men? Should women start writing blogs and tips for men so that their girlfriends/wives stay attracted to them? Why do women always get the brunt of things? Why do we have to look good when our husband/boyfriend is dressed in cruddy t-shirts and jeans? Not fair.”

    Everyone has an off time (especially with a baby in the home), but maintaining oneself is basic courtesy. By staying fit/presenting oneself attractively you are valuing yourself and telling your spouse that you value him. It you cnsistently look sloppy and don’t give a toss about your appearance you are doing the opposite. Men have other ways of showing value, but appearance matters for them too. Would your opinion of your husband change if he ceased working and sat on the couch 24/7 eating potato chips and drinking beer? Would you be as attracted to him if he weighed 400 pounds? Perhaps this isn’t “fair” but human biology is what it is, and attraction is a large component of the intimacy equation.

  17. Not really in response to Rachel, because I’ve settled that off-blog… but just so that this fact is out there:

    Elisabeth Elliot was against feminism. Being anti-feminist is not saying that women are somehow less worthy to men, it means that they are complementary to each other… they are not “equal” in that way. In their worth and value, of course they are equal, but in their different characteristics, they are not the same (equal = meaning same).

    Elisabeth Elliot fought against feminism and self-identified as a woman who believed in this complementarian ideology, even John Piper has written on his blog, Desiring God, saying this fact about her (and praising her in her fight against feminism). So trying to bash or shame me for having a different opinion on this, and ironically an opinion that is very Christian and very biblical, is unfounded.

    Just thought I’d throw that out there. ❤ 🙂

  18. DragonFly,

    Excellent post. I think you explained it well that women have to strike a balance or use common sense in how they apply makeup and how they present themselves as a whole.

    You said something that i have said many times men want to see women looking beautiful, and we are designed by God seek out and be drawn to female beauty. The phrase you used was “false advertising” and I have used that exact phrase.

    When I was divorced and was single for a while I befriended a woman at my church. She was a sweet woman, and a good Christian. But she was massively overweight and not only that – but her weight was very unevenly distributed.

    So she would go on dating sites(and I was on them too at the time because I was single) – so I could see her profile picture. She would only post pictures of herself from the breasts up because she had large bottom section(massive pair shape).

    Then she would express frustration to me of how many men would go on one date with her and never call her again. She would say how “shallow” men were and that her lower half being so large should not have been a big deal if they thought her face was pretty. I tried to gently explain to her how men work – and I told her she should put a picture of her whole self up, not just half. Then she will know that if a man goes out with her, he saw the complete picture and was attracted to the whole picture, not just the half.

    What she was doing was what you are talking about – false advertising and a lot of women(and some men) do this on dating sites(like posting pictures of themselves that are 10 year old or more).

    But again good post – and I am thankful for Christian women like you who don’t rip on men for their natural drawing to female beauty, and a woman’s duty to respect that male nature and to do her best to make herself beautiful.

  19. I don’t know whether it’s true for this girl or not, but some cases of acne are resistant to treatment. And the stronger the treatment, the bigger the potential side effects. Although I suspect your point is true for most acne problems. At age 23, I suddenly got a bunch of acne, but managed to fix it with benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acid. It took time to find the solution and the right products, but thankfully it worked. I wouldn’t be so harsh on this girl, since for all I know she is doing everything right, but still needs to cover up acne while the problem remains unsolved. I definitely would not recommend just accepting acne without looking for a solution first, and covering it up every day.

    As for commenting on other people’s looks… I prefer to follow the “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” advice.

  20. One more thing. I thought the video was ok and agreed with what I perceived to be its message (which is.. don’t be so mean?), but didn’t think the ending made much sense (“you’re beautiful”?). Thing is, a lot of us are not beautiful, and that’s just nature’s natural variation. Most of us are average-looking. We do our best to look our best, but we can’t all be the ideal. I don’t trust a message saying “You’re beautiful” when I know it isn’t so.

  21. Dragonfly, I’ve been reading your blog for a little while and your posts are well written. But I have a small disagreement with this post.

    It is very easy to tell a person with acne to fix it. We don’t always know what the cause was. We don’t know if a treatment they tried failed or caused side effects. It may be hard to believe, but some parents actually don’t think treating acne is a big deal. Not kidding. They see it as a “teenage thing.” It’s cosmetic. Same goes for treating massively crooked teeth. My parents waited before I got braces, in spite of the doctors saying “her current jaw is misaligned, this is bad.” Sometimes a lot of damage is done by the time a person is an adult.

    This post had a constructive message, but it got lost behind the video. I agree young women need to be conscientious about makeup use. But makeup to cover up skin conditions is not the same as creating a face that never existed.

    As someone with darker skin dealing with melasma, I sympathized with the girl in the video. I use makeup to cover it for a good reason. At one point I wasn’t wearing makeup and someone had the nerve to ask what I did to bruise my face. “It looks so dark and bad.” Um, thanks for telling an already dark woman her dark skin is bad?? It’s rude to say the least.

  22. It may be hard to believe, but some parents actually don’t think treating acne is a big deal. Not kidding. They see it as a “teenage thing.” It’s cosmetic. Same goes for treating massively crooked teeth.

    Oh I do believe it… that’s part of the message of this post is to tell parents that if they have a daughter, they need to do everything they can to make her the tools, knowledge, and power to look the best she can. Its not only a girl thing, it matters too for boys in how they look, even for the child’s self confidence. Parents that don’t care about things like severe acne, severely crooked teeth, deformities that can be fixed, they are setting their children up for an even harder life. Life is already hard, but looking “ugly” or even different makes it dramatically harder, especially for kids and teens. Wise and kind parents understand this and seek to make their child’s life easier, seek to give their children self confidence.

    My mom had a cousin who’s mother never fixed her teeth. They were so bad that even though I was a little girl when I saw her (I only saw her once in my life) I still have it burned into my memory. I was very young, but I still remember the immense feelings of shock and sadness at seeing when she opened her mouth to speak (which she didn’t do often, probably because of how she felt about herself because of it). It was horrendous and so sad – and it affected the way people saw her 😦

    Her parents did that to her. By refusing to get her braces, they set her up for a cruel childhood and early adulthood (she was an adult possibly even near 30 when I saw her). She was unmarried and still living at home as a spinster.

    Sometimes something like that can have so much effect on a person that they believe that they can never change. I’m not sure if she ever changed, but I’ve known people like her that never did.

    “I agree young women need to be conscientious about makeup use. But makeup to cover up skin conditions is not the same as creating a face that never existed.”

    It definitely depends on the “skin condition” and whether or not it’s treatable. Most acne is treatable now days, even if it does need to be something more intense or have greater side effects. The person is usually not on it long term, and there are options they can choose from if one harsh treatment sounds worse to them than another. Even Accutane (which is incredibly harsh and has scary side effects) is only taken for 5 months.

    Think about it. 5 months of taking one of the harshest drugs in exchange for a lifetime of fighting acne and making it worse with constantly covering it up with makeup. 5 months of treatment and the girl (or guy) has clear skin. Or they can choose to go with something else that is less risky.

    Some men don’t care about acne that much at all, or acne scars from a woman’s past 🙂 But guys seeing this girl’s videos of how she creates a perfect (fake) face when she looks completely different without makeup is scary for them. It does make them feel tricked or feel like she is false advertising.

    This is not to say that if a girl has some acne she covers, goes without makeup with a boyfriend that he will suddenly think she looks hideous when her makeup is off or anything… most men aren’t narcissistic about their women needing to look perfect. I don’t even know any men like that at all. My husband is a lot like Andrew’s views on this, especially #7 that he loves when I’m not made up and have undone hair and in yoga pants (especially yoga pants with how tight they are lol) because he always tells me that it shows me how much I trust and love him. But he also appreciates that I take care to look my best usually when we’re out. Men don’t expect women to look perfect all the time, that is not at all what the post was about. But men viewing her videos does bring out the ugly truth that they don’t like to think that women look that different with their makeup off. It’s just simply the way most men feel about makeup usage. They understand it makes us look a little better, but they don’t want to see that it makes us go from below average (severe acne) to well above average looking.

    The same could be said of padded bras – although its to a much lesser degree because men actually care more about visual beauty (facial) than breast size. False enhancement of facial beauty (to a big degree like shown in the video) is more of an offense than false enhancement of breast size.

    The video is like a size A cup woman making herself look like a size DD when wearing clothes in a man’s mind. It’s a big difference instead of a subtle difference of enhancement. They want to only see a truly subtle difference. And that usually bothers men :/ it just does.

  23. I completely agree about the bra size comparison. Totally, totally agree because men are visual. This is fact, so I am with you there.

    Accutane can take more than 5-6 months for people to see results. A lot of people have reported IBS, joint pain, chronic dry/cracked skin, etc. Blood work is a requirement. I have a relative who discontinued Accutane because she began developing these symptoms. She was still very young (under 25) and was concerned they’d get worse. Fortunately for her, the acne did clear up on its own.

    I use skin conditions broadly because not all doctors consider some medical needs. Acne is a medical condition, but the degree of severity is open to interpretation. Melasma isn’t a medical condition– it’s cosmetic. Yet, there’s evidence to show the relationship between hormonal imbalances and skin pigmentation (doctors ignore that). When you can’t afford to treat a skin condition properly, makeup is the first line of defense.

    For me, it was easy for people to say I’d “outgrow” melasma or “can’t you just take something?” It doesn’t work like that. Retin-A nearly ruined my skin, hydroquinone is unhealthy, and microderm was temporary. It took me several years to find a doctor who knew how to treat it. I’m finally seeing results, but without makeup to cover up the patches I can tell you dealing with it would have been more difficult. It was already getting harder, because in my 20’s I liked going without makeup and thought nothing of it. That’s why I sympathize and can understand why the girl does what she does, even though it’s extreme.

    With that said, the majority of women aren’t like the girl in the video. There’s too many young women who’d rather sleep more than spend 20 minutes on their face 🙂 The full face creation routine is not a reflection of reality.

  24. “That’s why I sympathize and can understand why the girl does what she does, even though it’s extreme.”

    I totally understand as well, and sympathize with her… but I do think it is more important to focus on treating it rather than covering it up as a vocation. She’s making money, lots of money, off of showing how to cover up acne extremely well. She’s a makeup artist in a way, with her own specialty that she’s developed and is profiting off of via her youtube channel that she is paid from. I hated seeing the horrible comments, but again, if she is going to choose this acne job as her vocation and pulpit, then she needs to learn how to deal with horrible people. Block comments or ignore them… its what everyone in the public light has to do eventually.

  25. I’m not defending her choice to make this her money-maker, but no one knows what she has or hasn’t done to treat the acne. She is one person using these makeup techniques. Will other women try them? Maybe, maybe not. If they do try them, they’ll figure out what works for them and it probably won’t be a replica.

    If your everyday woman uses makeup to cover up her acne, she’s just covering up her acne. We don’t have any real reason to assume she isn’t treating it, or hasn’t ever tried. In fact, I’d say it’s uncharitable to assume she’s not doing enough as everyone’s bodies react to treatment in different ways. It’s also uncharitable to entirely hold it against a young woman, especially if she’s still within the household and authoritative bounds of her parents, who are probably involved in making those kinds of decisions with her.

  26. Right… I actually think its great if she wants to do that – I know I sound probably confusing online – I much MUCH prefer talking to people in real life. If she wants to help other women learn how to copy the way she covers acne, I think its really good – even helpful for all those girls/women!

    This post was using her situation as a general example – especially the video where she plays the victim to a problem she could easily solve (not the acne, but the mistreatment she allows of herself).

    Young women that are sensitive should not be making themselves so incredibly vulnerable to bad people (like the men verbally abusing her). I don’t allow just any comments on my site anymore… but I used to. And I used to receive the most horrible comments about deserving to raped, being a slut, a whore, a bad wife, a bad mother that shouldn’t have anymore children… you know… very bad evil comments from sickos. I didn’t make a video with me reading them crying! I’m not trying to make this personally about this ONE female making bad choices in her life to allow herself to be verbally abused, I’m generalizing it.

  27. Okay, it appears there were two topics getting commingled here. I also took this to be more general, but from the perspective of the average woman dealing with acne. I was thinking about girls who don’t subject their appearances to online critique, but need that extra help with makeup.

    But yes, if the girl in the video is concerned or hurt over the verbal abuse, she should reconsider her strategy.

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