I have a penchant for taking pictures of water lilies. Their quiet, breathtaking beauty, their poise as they sit on top of the still water, the reflections around them, are all captivating to me as the scene often speaks to the inner depths of my soul.
Such is a woman who offers a man the rarity of a sympathetic understanding.
A commenter, Buena Vista, whom I respect and admire said recently, (emphasis my own),
Two qualities that I find extremely rare in women, of sterling appearance, habits and spirit — or not: a) empathy for a man; b) noticing and learning the private, profound interests or qualities in a man. These qualities will generally earn mind-lock over a male, who may in fact be so unaccustomed to them that they are initially threatening.
Men do not desire their most intimate partner to be someone who possesses a critical spirit, a harsh attitude, or a bitter inclination. Despite being displayed as caricatures of men who are without needs, buffoons to be manipulated for a woman’s benefit, or emasculated-feminized men, the real Man desires a woman who is capable of having empathy for him.
The girl or woman who captivates like the poised water lily possesses gentleness, benevolence – loving to help others, genuine kindness, compassion… the traits that embody a sympathetic understanding for men in general.
Yes, in general. It is insincere for a woman to display these traits towards one member of the human race, while not extending it to others. The fact that a woman does possess this capability means that she must, and is required to, show her gentleness and quiet inner strength to even to the disagreeable types.
When a woman endeavors to offer her sympathy to a man, she is capable of feeling with him everything that he is feeling and experiencing. If he is going through a horrible, tough time, she is there and is sympathetic to his trials. If he is losing his best friend or mother, she is there suffering the loss with him. She offers him her gentleness, compassion, warm spirit, while keeping her own inner hope inside. She can stare into the darkness of the abyss, yet be separate and not overwhelmed by it. His depression does not rub off on her, yet she becomes a light that God’s given to him (indeed, reflecting God’s own light), to help guide him through the darkness.
Somehow, women with our unique beauty and spirit have powers over men. I’ve written a few posts on the Muse, and how frequently, muses throughout history of the great authors and noble men, were women who – although simple and often even uneducated – had the unique ability to lift the man’s spirits, to propel him through times such as war (in the past). It is a lost art, the Art of Offering Sympathy, that women today simply do not understand at all.
But rest assured that men do need this from a woman, especially from his wife if he is married. It is as much of a need as sex is for a man. Buena Vista (commenter) hit on something very true with his last sentiment:
“These qualities will generally earn mind-lock over a male, who may in fact be so unaccustomed to them that they are initially threatening.”
A woman who possesses those qualities is captivating to a man. Men want to be understood, they want to know their lover will give them time when they need it, and not rush a process of frustration, depression, or grief.
Some things he doesn’t need
There are some pitfalls us women are very prone to when it comes to trying to offer men our sympathy and understanding:
- We minimize his problems, encouraging him to snap out of it, move through it faster, count his blessings, etc.
- We offer him solutions to his problems when he really desires us to reassure him that we still believe and have faith in him