The Competitive Woman


This… is a photo I snapped of an ad we found in our mailbox for an auto-place in our city.  At first glance, it just looks like they’re having fun, washing the car together, but unfortunately, it displays a whole lot more than that with body-language upon a closer look.

Who is in control?

The woman.  Let’s take a long look at the woman.  Really study her body language and features.  Is she more masculine than your average female?  This could be cute to me if she were more feminine looking, however, even her muscular structure looks more masculine than her husband’s.  In this photo, she is the aggressive one, the one not only in control, but looking like she needs to be in control (and enjoying it).  Look at the husband, really look.  Not only is he displayed as more feminine, he is subjugating himself to her supposedly playful attack.  I say supposedly because most men would not find themselves in his position (feeling over-powered by their masculine female partner) something that was “playful” for them, I think most men would not like to feel the feelings that his body language emits.  Powerless.  Wimpy.  The posture of his hands saying, “Please stop.”  He is under her dominion and out of his role as a strong, masculine, leader.  Instead of strong, he looks weak.  Instead of masculine, he looks strangely feminine here (and she looks unmistakably masculine).  Instead of him leading, he is allowing her to control the situation.

An attractive man of course would love water play with his wife, but I doubt this would be how it would play out for him.  He would probably find himself taking the hose from her and going after her with it.  A feminine woman that respected her man would playfully go after him for sure!  I’m not saying that the picture is in any way wrong for her having control of the hose, hear me out!  I tease my husband all the time, even yesterday at a playground with our sons I had a moment of playful teasing with him in front of everyone there.  My son and I decided we would try to hold down his arms on either side while he was taking a rest.  Was he emasculated like this man in the photo?  Not at all 😉  Quite the contrary… he laughed and flexed his arms inward, causing both of us to move closer as he did some quick move to tickle us both so that we screamed and jumped back from him!

We attacked his strength, but he remained in control all the while.  He didn’t beg for mercy, I wasn’t able to truly overpower him (he is much stronger, with more muscle mass than I’ll ever have).  It was the opposite of what is displayed in this photo.

I know it may seem strange to go into this depth of a simple mailbox ad, but as our culture becomes more and more anti-male/pro-woman, things like this ad – displaying a man counter to what you would expect, as well as the woman with her muscles and body-language over-powering his weak display, I find it a little offensive.  I’m not keen on living in a society where my boys will be told (or shown from every angle) that they exist to be a footstool to women who are power hungry and who think they are more masculine than them.  I’m not happy about being in a culture where masculinity is best displayed as a weak, mercy-pleading male.

It’s the opposite of how God intended men and women to be, a perversion of the sexes and their innate strengths and beauty.


  1. So true!
    It’s funny how obvious this seems now…Before being around the sphere I’d have never noticed what the body language in the photo is saying here. I think I’d have just thought of it as “fun water play” rather than a hidden “strong powerful superior-to-her-man” message.

    There are a lot of direct and in-your-face messages, of course. I’ve always noticed that…but it’s amazing the number of subliminal messages (like this one) out there trying to move society in a direction away from inherent biology. Subliminal messages can work even better than direct ones because those seeds are more deeply planted when the idea is conveyed in an insidious and subtle way. We’re all influenced by messages constantly, usually without being aware of it. My husband read a book called ‘Influence’ that describes some of the ways it’s done and how and why the message makes a psychological impression on the person. Interesting stuff.

    Of course, everyone thinks he or she is immune to this influence and it’s “everyone else” who is the sheeple. No one’s immune, knowledge is armor, however.

  2. Per knowledge is armor…raising kids in the right way is armor, too. Setting them up with a good value system is armor. Community, and fellowship are armor too.

    A parable: Story of two woodcutters.
    One was young and strong and hacked away non-stop from dawn to dusk. The other was wiry and old and spent most of his time sitting quietly.

    Yet the old guy consistently cut down more trees than the young one. The young guy asked “How do you always cut more wood than me when, every time I look, you are just sitting down?”

    The reply: “I wasn’t just sitting doing nothing. I was sharpening my axe.”

    The sphere is a place I come to sharpen my axe. 🙂

  3. I think I would have probably noticed it before finding the sphere… but only because my parents are very much “red pill” without them knowing. But reading Rollo’s stuff and Dalrock’s is still like sharpening my axe 🙂 I love your parable!

  4. Nice post girlwithadragonflytattoo. Also note about the picture where the hose is pointed, which is roughly at his genitals. That coincides with all the other things you are saying about her emasculating him and taking control.

  5. I just see as a prelude and a shit-test. Also a great #freethenipple opportunity. Athletic women like to tussle. I don’t see the photo, necessarily, as the guy being submissive, because he could have just been ambushed. If he just stood there and said ‘please stop please stop’, sure.

    Once I was in the lobby of the Atlanta Ritz at 2 a.m. with a lanky, 5’11” pilot who played softball in college. Total tomboy. She picked up one of the lobby apples and fired it at me from across the oversized room. Soon we were playing burn-out in the lobby, wasting the bowl of apples as miscues splattered on the marble. The security guard started laughing and said, “I want to be your son’s agent.” (Burnout is an old baseball thing. You play catch at close range and see who can throw it so hard the other guy can’t catch it.)

    I’ve always been with athletic women and they want to wrestle from time to time. And then lose while transitioning to higher value activities. Good times. This is a upright Christian family blog so y’all will have to fill in the blanks.

  6. BV likes ’em scrappy, it would seem.

    (wish I could say I can throw…or catch…or would do anything other than look for the nearest corner to hide in that situation so I wouldn’t get bagged in the beam) 🙂

  7. Defensive wounds in murders usually involve the hands. It’s instinctual to throw them up. Chris Kyle would have thrown them up, only he was shot in the back. (He had a 1911 cocked and locked on his hip. Never unholstered it.)

    I’m not trying to be unpleasant. All humans throw their hands up and go into a crouch when surprised. What happens next is what is interesting and informative, in my view.

  8. You aren’t being unpleasant, BV. 🙂

    I agree with the above. The only thing about the photo that is ‘telling’ to me is the fact it was chosen for the advertisement. That would indicate to me there’s a message they want to convey (and a lot of people involved in the boiler room chose this image for non-arbitrary reasons). They could have used a more “fun version”….for example perhaps what happened later when the image looks a bit more even-handed. But maybe I think too much.

  9. I mean “think too much” about useless trivium…reading too much into things.
    As in, “Cracker, you think too much!”

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