Art of Seduction


I’ve written before how important sex is to men.  How men need sex… how they crave quality sex versus quantity (though they don’t mind quantity).  Its just who they are, and how they were designed to be, and is why since the beginning of time it seems, we have always had the oldest sins around – adultery and prostitution.  These have always stayed with us, for very basic reasons that a wife would do well to understand.

This is not to say that women don’t also cheat on their husbands, apparently they seem to cheat just as much as men do – however, this post is for women to understand why their husbands may look at porn, have a fling, or a full fledged affair with another woman.  Most often, when men search for sexual fulfillment other than their wife, they are doing so because they are craving something very particular.


Virtually all men crave a woman who admires him.  A woman who will listen to him when he’s talking about something he finds interesting, or when he’s giving his opinion.  They want a woman who will be interested and fascinated with what he says – yes, I said fascinated.  It turns them on to be in the presence of a hot woman (his wife) who is also giving him her entire attention and the right kind of feedback that says, “You are such an interesting man!  Omg I want you!  Now!!!”

When was the last time you reacted to your husband like that?  I know… us wives are ridiculously tired, over-achieving, too much to do, have kids hanging off our legs at any moment when we’re at home (or out… at the store trying to deal with a meltdown).  I understand, I’m a wife and mother of two now.  But guess what?  Your husband craves this kind of thing, and if this need is met by you, he will move mountains to ensure your happiness.

In our marriage, I’ve made sure to keep this aspect of our romance alive – its just how we’ve always been and I’m not “pretending” to be interested at all, its just second nature to me with him.  Its affects on my husband have made friends jealous of how he treats me, because I play more the role of a lover, he plays more the role of a man who showers his lover with gifts and attention & romance.  He brings me my favorite strawberry filled donut for no reason other than he thought of me at the store when he saw it.  He, on the regular, buys me chocolate just because.  He flirts and teases me like he did when I was 19… and I’m almost 29!  We have the kind of relationship that others envy because I’ve chosen to be a different kind of wife.  (do you hear that? I chose… any wife can make that choice) My role of being his seductive, passionate lover, in essence, strategically segued him into playing his role of being my favorite (and only) “client.”


How many men crave respect?  All of them.  They want to be known as the leader of their house, they want their wives to defer to them for decisions – but they want their wives to genuinely do it out of the feeling of respect, not just half-heartedly ask their husbands what they think, but to let them know that they are expressly interested in their husband’s response because of who he is.

They want a woman who looks up to them – who doesn’t try to outshine them or put them down – but who greatly esteems them and their opinions on matters (this ties in directly with Admiration).  They don’t want a wife who will constantly argue and bicker with them over decisions and details, or one who challenges them and their headship constantly.

A woman who respects a man, treats him like a man… not like a child that has to be reminded or told what to do, but as a man who is capable.  She believes in him and that he will do the right thing, and he feels it and can’t help himself to fulfill it for her (because he so wants to be perceived that way).


Husbands want a wife who genuinely desires him.  A woman who does, treats foreplay differently.  She kisses his neck, runs her nails across his chest or down his bare back, she doesn’t just lie there and expect him to give her all the foreplay pleasure… she takes initiative to give it to him as well which draws out his response.

She takes the sexual experience to a whole new level with how passionately involved she is in (and out) of bed.  Desire is so intense (when you really feel it) that it can almost be tasted in the air.  Men crave a woman who shows them this.


Men want a woman who feels addicted to them, or who gives them the impression that they are.

A woman who has fun during sex, abandons her inhibitions and isn’t afraid to vocalize anything she’s feeling, thinking, or desiring, is why prostitution (and porn even) are such big addictions for men.  Not only do the women usually look hot, the attitude they have seduces a man.  They crave the attitude a woman has when she is addicted to a man – the attitude their wife may have had when their relationship was just starting out and redhot.

Deeper!”  “OMG you’re so big!” or screaming out during sex lets him know she’s addicted to him.  Husbands crave this from their wives.  They want to feel desired and like the woman is utterly and completely addicted to him, and only him.

If a woman has accomplished all these so far, you can be sure he is starting to get addicted to her as well.  Men get addicted to this kind of sex and woman, it is why viewing porn acts like a drug in the brain.  Virtually all men even if they have a porn addiction, would rather be addicted to a real, flesh and blood woman.  All the more reasons for wives to take note!

Recipe for Disaster

So… like I’ve stated before, these are all basic emotions and feelings that lead to men turning to porn, having minor flings, or full-fledged affairs with other women.  Men are seduced not just because of woman’s body, but because of her mind and the way she uses the Art of Seduction.  If a man is lacking these basic needs in their marriage relationship, I would go as far as to say they are “starving” in these areas.  If a man feels starved, it won’t take much to tempt him to take a bite… I’ve seen homeless men pull half-eaten food out of trash cans!  They are that hungry that they’ll eat something rotting, old, germy, and disgusting… all because they are starving.  If he’s full and having all these desires met, there is no need and no desire (at all) to take a bite of something less than ideal.

You, dear wife, are ideal.  He wants you.

141 thoughts on “Art of Seduction

  1. I don’t care what other people say or do. I don’t care what you ‘expect of me’ either, since your approval or disapproval is of no concern to me. Also, I don’t think your personal behavior is the subject of the OP. But if you do, great.

  2. “Also, I don’t think your personal behavior is the subject of the OP. But if you do, great.”

    No its about dragon and what a great seductress she is and how other women should aquire her skills. What I am saying is some can get the same results with out bring seducing. To each their own I suppose.

  3. What’s textbook about this is that the OP is not about Dragon. It’s about how men think and respond. You overlooked the point of the post. Most women *do* have zero interest in the interior reality of men, and prefer their utilitarian virtues insofar as they enable female priorities.

    So they don’t recognize even text by a woman that discusses a man’s interior life. They have no interest in that, and prefer to discuss their own, or why someone’s thesis is wrong because they disagree with it for unstated reasons, or because it doesn’t make them feel “safe”.

    I mean, textbook.

  4. “I once knew a Christian girl that also had issues with thinking of married sexual fulfillment being akin to “corruption” and against her “purity/chastity.” I wasn’t close to her, but a mutual friend of ours showed me her invitation to her lingerie shower. It shocked me. She didn’t want anything “racy” or “too sexy” to be given as gifts for her lingerie. ”

    A lingerie shower? Seriously? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Is it a thing or was that a one off event?

    Christians aren’t the only ones to feel some kind of way about being told sex is bad (even sex with oneself, go figure) up until they marry and then all of a sudden they are expected to turn into uninhibited studs and nymphomaniacs. I’ve known Muslims and Jews and Buddhists and others deal with this. I think it has to do with the contrast in consciousness between being totally fixated on God or a state of transcendence to then being totally absorbed in the temporal flesh. I don’t think your average run of the mill Christian or Buddhist or whatever would feel that. But those who are really deep into a contemplative practice, or those who have taken on a particularly shame-based view of their own body and natural sexuality would.

  5. “Deeper!” “OMG you’re so big!” or screaming out during sex lets him know she’s addicted to him. Husbands crave this from their wives.”

    What if he’s not “so big”? What if he’s average or worse, lousy in bed, should she fake “being addicted”? I say no, because then he will never advance in his own venusian skills.

  6. “I used to approach sex/relationships by assuming that my boyfriend wanted me to treat him like he treated me. Things were definitely a competition. After I made the switch to getting my “seductive girl game” on, our relationship and sex life has become better than I could have ever imagined! We’re both more satisfied, and we both feel more confident in our role as men and women. Excellent post, Dragonfly”

    As a serious Christian I doubt Dragonfly would approve of you seducing a “boyfriend”. This is about married husbands and wives.

  7. You are, again, purposefully missing the point of the post (encouraging wives to look beyond themselves & seduce their husbands) by trying to twist it into something its clearly not. LOL… you insist on now referring to me as “dragon”… and basically say I’m not allowed to give any examples to women (b/c I’m Christian, I shouldn’t talk positively about sex to women – or give them examples etc. lol)…. You’re really reaching for a reason to attack. It’s a bit sad when taken into perspective what you stated on Donagraeme’s blog not that long ago about how much you hated seeing women blog about their lives – especially when they included pictures of their lives. Why you are even on my blog is questionable then, since you are so against women blogging with pictures about their lives. So the only other reason you are here, on my blog, is to Troll or attack.

    I guess the only next step is to have a comment policy to deal with these new trolls I have… if you can’t be respectful to others here, if your only purpose is to attack the author, if you have no constructive or valid criticisms to give, but are only interested in attacking for attacking purposes only, then you will be spammed and not allowed to comment. The mere fact that you can’t even bring yourself to call me by my chosen blog handle Dragonfly, shows disrespect and questionable motives. You can have your opinions, but you have to remember you are posting on my blog, which I’m graciously allowing you to do. A comment policy takes your freedom to abuse that away from you.

  8. Unreal. Yet another woman who can’t handle the slightest criticism or disagreement. I meant no dispresct by calling you dragon…it was for convenience in shortening your name since I have been responding on phone all day. Also why the typos. The guys at dalrock call you gwdft, I guess that is dis respectful too.

  9. I think you thought I was calling you a dragon in the nasty dragon sense but it was purely to shorten your name but I guess I could have typed the 3 extra letters, so I apologize. Can we just agree to disagree or why do people always have to be written off as a troll because they disagree?

    [Dragonfly] People who merely disagree are not trolls. People who misdirect the entire conversation for their own motives (yours being obviously to discredit me being a good Christian woman), and distort or try to attack the author’s intentions, or repeatedly comment on another’s blog just to try to get readers to take their “side” & dislike the author – all these things are much more than merely disagreeing. And the irony of doing it on that person’s own blog, right under their nose lol. I’ve seen that manospherians love drama… I’ve read extensively what you sought to do to other women bloggers you didn’t like. It is strange and drama seeking behavior, while at the same time allowing yourself to be so consumed with what those other women were doing that you would write posts about them (or about their behavior). It consumed you that much :/

    The time spend commenting or writing posts about their behavior (or my behavior even), is probably best spent doing something beneficial to you… or your family… or your friends (anyone YOU care about). To spend so much time writing on their blogs, writing about them in your own posts, or trying to discredit them is drama-seeking. Its better to just live and let live – set the best example you can yourself for others, so that they can want to be like you from how they see you act. Writing posts about people’s behaviors that bother you is just giving them (or that situation) control over your mind and distracting you from better things in life – like actually living it.

    Growth happens when you move beyond that phase of criticism of other people. When you choose to focus on your own life, the people in it, and how you are bettering those aspects instead of caring so much what others do online.

    Have a Happy Easter, take a break from the internets this weekend and enjoy life!]

  10. This is off-topic, but in a similar vein to changing yourself for the better:

    Dragonfly, you seem like a bright woman, may I ask why you identify yourself as Christian? You understand that it’s a “meme” or a mind virus, created by the same kind of crazies who are now killing each other on the other side of the world. They literally just cobbled old teachings together from a time where the most “civilized” folk still shit in the streets, and you were likely indoctrinated to all of this as a child before you developed any ability to reason for yourself.

    You know how when your PC gets infected with malware and you start getting browser popups about local girls in your city who are young, hot and available? That’s your mind identifying itself as “Christian”, your church is the popup asking for your hard-earned money, and spamming your morals and values under the “Christian” label is how the virus propagates.

    Ditch the label and the mind virus, become an individual with your own set of beliefs.

  11. “Some of us don’t need Satan’s panties and still have tons of sex or seduce just fine. The over emphasis on lingerie gets me. Not all men care for it.”

    Most men couldn’t care less. It all comes off pretty quickly anyway. Women are into it. They like to buy expensive useless stuff that “feels good on my skin”.

    “French professional women spend 30% of their income on lingerie.”

    Shameless consumers. And Frenchmen have a global reputation for cheating so all that lingerie seduction obviously isn’t working.

  12. I’d sum it up thusly. Short and to the point:
    “Make love” like a mistress. (not a porn star)
    Be the person he’d love to cheat with…but, heh, he’s married to you.
    I think most every woman has this in her.

  13. Weird, I thought this post had been deleted early.
    Unless you were raised as a feral child, by non-humans in the woods, you were indoctrinated into something or another before you had any ability to reason for yourself. There are a few documentaries on feral children and you can see what stellar independent thinkers those kids end up as.
    Your post is inflammatory and moronic in the extreme.

  14. After filing for divorce with my wife of a decade I remember just being shocked and amazed at my first sexual experience after 10 years of just the wife. She kissed my neck. My ears. Left scratches in my back. This girl initiated on me. Even made me miss Game of Thrones. Honestly I was shocked. Stunned. I learned that day, from this woman I had known for only a few days, that I love having my upper right ear nibbled on. I have some severe scar tissue there and somehow it just drives me wild! Ten years with my wife. My WIFE. And I never knew how much I loved having my ear nibbled on.


    I’m so happy that you try to cultivate a full set of love with your husband! It’s such a relief to hear a woman speak proudly of her husband. All I ever hear women do is cut their husbands down. Constantly. I was honestly always so confused as to why my wife would cut me down, endlessly, yet still fully expect me to be a confident head of the household and a dominate man. Thank God the androsphere exists. At least now I know.

  15. There are all kinds of porn, including the emo porn of certain games where the sex acts are intermittent, much like a movie, and the majority is highly sexualized interactions of the game characters. Typically with overblown tales of female submission. The Japanese usually make them. I reckon they are halfway between romance novel pornography and the hyper aggressive pornography you are referring to here. I do fully agree with you about pornography though. It is unrealistic and engaging in it in unsafe ways, such as habitual viewing, will lead you into sin and will create unrealistic expectations for men and women.

    If women are going to engage in emo porn I think they should do so with their husbands. This way their husbands could learn what their wives like and enjoy. But so that they can grow together, in a realistic setting, women should avoid emo porn outside of marriage. That is if we are going to not abstain from emo porn entirely.

  16. She can scream out something else instead. How about screaming out his name? Do it Pavlovian style. Use it as a reward for good sexual behavior. Perhaps at first this behavior will not be the best you’ve ever had but if you guide your husband and work to enjoy your sex life there is no reason you can not guide your husband to a sex life that is amazing for both of you.

    “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,”

  17. I’m sure that you believe that men and women are the same, or equal, or “equal” perhaps? Maybe there are other things you believe? Things you were taught in some studies class in college? Do you have faith in global warming, maybe? Or even other beliefs?

  18. Thank you for commenting SoC!

    I learned that day, from this woman I had known for only a few days, that I love having my upper right ear nibbled on. I have some severe scar tissue there and somehow it just drives me wild! Ten years with my wife. My WIFE. And I never knew how much I loved having my ear nibbled on.

    Wow! I can’t imagine that people live in marriage that way (I’m so sorry that was your case) – but I keep reading stories like that from the manosphere (and I kind of guessed it was like that before I found you guys, but I didn’t think it was as common as it seems to be). I think my husband and I are really lucky. Our first year was spent just reveling in and purely enjoying an exploratory intimacy – it definitely set the tone for the rest of the years I think. Plus I happened to work at a Christian bookstore that had every marriage book imaginable. I would read a lot of them on breaks or during slow periods when there was nothing to get done really.

    I loved reading about marriage and how a wife should treat her husband; it fascinated me! Especially how to have a great sex life – since it was obviously so needed for the man (and the woman too, but I more so the man in most cases). I remember praying that God would just bless our sex life – to blossom it into something beautiful… and He was faithful.

    I’m so happy that you try to cultivate a full set of love with your husband! It’s such a relief to hear a woman speak proudly of her husband.

    Thank you so much 🙂 I’m glad I can write about these things now, I’m glad I can reach people in what they may be going through. I know I’ve made a lot of wives think – and that’s great! I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback in writing for married couples, so at least I feel like I’m doing something rather than just blogging. I started out blogging just as a creative outlet solely for myself… but its turned into much more than that.

  19. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with your wife. 😦
    I think, just as people get into good patterns and habits they can also get into bad habit patterns that kind of create a negative feedback loop.

    I think really small, simple and consistent behaviors can have a big impact over time. Cleaning a relatively clean house is easier than cleaning a filthy one no one after the dirt piles up. Getting in shape when one is relatively fit is a lot easier than getting in shape after years of couch potato behavior. It’s a lot easier to learn when one is just building off of what one has been learning, rather than having to reinvent the wheel.
    And so forth. A little extra loving care goes a long way. Women should know this, and I think they did at one time. That’s been replaced by selfishness (truly Christian behavior is so un-Cosmopolitan, and anti de rigueur these days! can’t have that…it’s anti-independence of thought. See anon above for details….)

  20. I’ve read enough of blogger lgrobins’ writing to understand why any woman blogger might get a little on the defensive when she shows up, but I think she was offering a true argument in favor of using words carefully.

    It’s a peeve I’d call it, that conservative leaning people allow ourselves to buy into the use of language as established by those who are heavily invested in the populace being ignorant.

    One does not have to seduce a husband is was the point I took away. Seduction, in the truest and most conventional sense of the word is a bad thing because it indicates taking someone to a place where they should not or do not wish to go using manipulation .

    Saying that does not necessarily indicate promoting prudishness or an unwillingness to passionately love one’s husband, physically or otherwise.

    I do believe you meant well and that it wasn’t your intent to buy into the cultural narrative of evil as good and good as prudish, but as a people who thirst for truth, we have to be willing to hear new information and take corrective measures if that information and correction is true, regardless of the source.

    Since I found this thread via lgrobins’ blog and she weighed in on lingerie, I’ll add an opinion on that as well. I have found that it’s much cheaper, and a much more direct form of invitation and willingness, to wear nothing at all to bed. No seduction required.

  21. Also, the fact that she CHOSE to make such a big stink about it on Easter weekend let me know that what she was doing was particularly evil. That I shouldn’t give her drama-seeking (unChristian) behavior the time of day.

  22. It would be interesting to see how many people she misled though, on the Lord’s weekend, by her drama-seeking and evil in purpose post. I wonder how many comments and views she got for that? All for her selfish pride in trying to prove the word seduce is wrong. That I was wrong and that she was merely innocently disagreeing. She adulterates the Lord’s Easter weekend for her own purposes and you come here to perpetuate her deeds.

  23. “One does not have to seduce a husband is was the point I took away. Seduction, in the truest and most conventional sense of the word is a bad thing because it indicates taking someone to a place where they should not or do not wish to go using manipulation .”

    That is absurd. To seduce means to entice. Enticement plays a large part in sexual desire.
    So unless it is your point of view that sex is the equivalent of the evening “constitutional” along the same lines as taking an exlax tablet (and good luck with that), seduction is pretty key to pleasure. That’s one big way a woman shows her man that she values him.

  24. I commented in good faith, Mrs. Dragonfly. I have no interest in “drama” and mostly read all posts in a reader, avoiding comment threads. Always have. The last time I engaged was over the very same issue: word etymology (“nice” was the word last time).

    My concern is that most modern “conservatives” fail to understand the power of language and how its manipulation can lead us down the wrong path. It just so happens that this was one of the rare times I was so enticed to comment. Pun intended.

    I am not taking a side. I noted at the top of my comment that I recognize the inherent limitations of a woman trying to converse with lgrobins and that she seems to have some issues with women that can preclude dialogue.

    It doesn’t change the truth, that words and their origins matter. That in a marriage, an excess of extra added labels and strategies can be a sign of a wrong thought process. None of that was meant to imply that a wife shouldn’t love her husband with abandon, be feminine, alluring and free in the relationship.

    I was only here to shed light on the problems with the word seduce. It’s unhealthy to always be looking for the angle. There wasn’t one. But since we’re talking words, it’s kind of apropos for the subject of seduction to be coming up during the celebration of Eastre. It’s perfectly valid subject matter. Take a look.

    I suspect however, that your intention was to convey a concern about sexual discussions and the introduction of strife-filled drama during the Christian celebration of Messiah’s Resurrection. The two things are actually NOT the same.

    See? Words mean something. Oh, and try not to be so quick to bare your claws. It’s unbecoming a feminine woman.

  25. Yeah Dragonfly but you titled the jpg of this picture “be your husband’s whore” not your husband’s mistress. I have nothing against sex workers and feel it should be decriminalized, though maybe not promoted culturally as an ideal career choice due to all the risks, but no, I don’t think a wife should be her husbands whore, nor a husband his wife’s male sex worker, pimp, john, whatever. They are, ideally, a divinely united couple, one heart, two bodies. Why not simply be your husband’s loving spouse and him vice versa? What’s wrong with the husband-wife conception that you feel “whore” is a better archetype for the bedroom?

  26. “I loved reading about marriage and how a wife should treat her husband; it fascinated me! Especially how to have a great sex life – since it was obviously so needed for the man (and the woman too, but I more so the man in most cases). ”

    From my experience in counseling many women, this is not the case. I’ve said it before but its really true that if a woman is healthy and has at least a moderate libido (what to speak of a high one), and especially if she is under 50 years of age, if she is not initiating sex with her husband, there is something wrong there and many times its that she is not getting sufficiently sexually satisfied by her husband. I don’t know how many women I’ve counseled that complained of their husbands not being skilled in the erotic arts. Some of them had experiences parrallel to StringsofCoins above – they were shocked at what a difference a skilled and consciencious lover makes.

    Its pretty much a given that once a man has an erection, sexual intercourse will end in an orgasm for him. That is not a given for a woman, forget about multiple orgasms, which are possible alone or with a skilled partner.

    While I think most men get more pleasure in sexual intercourse than masturbation, its sometimes the opposite in women. This is why Nicole Daedone and her OneTaste are doing great work for humanity.

  27. Of course there’s a balance though. There’s swallowing any given Kool Aid wholesale and taking tiny cautious sips all the while self-reflecting on one’s motives and the motives of the people who created the doctrine in the first place.

  28. I think Anonyman was cautioning against swallowing Kool Aid wholesale, not throwing out information just because. Everything needs to be researched and reflected upon. Probably every doctrine has some good aspects to it that can be held on to while disregarding the b.s.

  29. Why not make love like a loving spouse? I find it odd how “wife” is not deemed appropriate for references to great sex but somehow “whore” or “mistress” is. Its really telling. Madonna/whore complex maybe?

  30. “She can scream out something else instead. How about screaming out his name?”

    Not everyone is a screamer, and some men do not appreciate it, or even vocalizations. Some man on some blog was complaining that his wife screams out “I love you!!!” at peak orgasm and he was offended by that somehow. He didn’t like “love” being mixed with orgasm. Go figure.

    Also its a cultural thing. In many, if not most, cultures around the world a couple does not live alone but in a joint family home shared by several other family members of multi-generations. There is not the privacy to go completely wild and scream during sex. We shouldn’t try to normalize or universalize what are the customs of a minority percentage of people on the planet.

    “Do it Pavlovian style. Use it as a reward for good sexual behavior.”

    This is alright but what if the sexual behavior is not good? That’s my point – by vocalizing as if it were, a woman would be communicating to him that whatever he’s doing is working to get her off, when its not. Signals can get crossed and he can continue on in his less than even mediocre bedroom skills thinking they are stellar!

    “Perhaps at first this behavior will not be the best you’ve ever had but if you guide your husband”

    Fully agree!

    “work to enjoy your sex life there is no reason you can not guide your husband to a sex life that is amazing for both of you.”

    Fully agree too!

  31. I think the word change helps to shift one’s paradigm focus.

    It’s the “job” of the whore/mistress to focus virtually entirely on the man’s pleasure. By contrast, the wife has a number of ‘hats’ (pleasure is an important one, but people often tend to put that on the wayside for other things, which I’m assuming is the intent of girlwithadragonflytattoo’s post and point and I think she made it well here).

  32. Ugh you people are so incredibly annoying. Nobody cares that you can cherry pick some definition that dragonfly did not use and twist her words into blasphemy. The strawman you are tilting against is so absurd and ridiculous that I struggle to understand if you are either very slow or just simply evil.

    Here is a good post that dragonfly’s wonderful post, clearly filled with a wife’s Godly love for her husband, ties into. Let’s say that you could learn how to be less ugly from this post.

    Don’t let the sins of pride and envy cause you to discount the wonderful expression of Godly love dragonfly has shared with us in this post. We can make wonderful and strong marriages. But in order to do so we must have both a good husband and a good wife. The fact that some insane cult has caused half the population to believe that they never have to try to be good, and that it is insulting to them to even suggest it, clearly demonstrates that this cult is doing the work of Satan. Satan is jealous that he will never get to experience being a husband and father so he wants to take that away from all of us.

    Stop doing Satan’s work. Stop harming marriages. Stop encouraging women to be ugly.

  33. What if a wife is like a sack of potatoes in bed? What if sex with her is simply masturbation with her body? If she were to engage and attempt to seduce her husband then her husband would fantasize about his own wife and burn with passion for her.

    And if a man is so terrible in bed then why did his wife marry him?

  34. Men very much care about sexy underwear. When a man’s wife wears sexy underwear it causes the man to believe that his wife desires him. When done correctly. It’s the desire the man believes that his wife is experiencing, for him and him alone, that creates the seduction.

  35. StringsofCoins

    “What if a wife is like a sack of potatoes in bed?”

    It goes both ways. If a couple is relatively young and healthy and both have at least moderate libidos, and if the wife is like a sack of potatoes in bed despite her husband having stellar venusian skills, then she needs to learn a thing or three.

    “And if a man is so terrible in bed then why did his wife marry him?”

    Some people don’t have sex before marriage, believe it or not. And also sometimes they start out being better in bed than they are later. Some people get lazy. Familiarity can breed not only contempt, but boredom and and a “meh” attitude.

  36. “It’s the “job” of the whore/mistress to focus virtually entirely on the man’s pleasure. ”

    Sure, in exchange for money. But love-making is not a “job” for spouses. Making love between husband and wife, two people in a loving relationship, not a business agreement, is very different from a career hooker and her client.

  37. “Men very much care about sexy underwear.”

    You do. But you don’t speak for all men everywhere. Sexy underwear is not universal. Nor is the love of it. Just sayin’.

  38. Pretty sure if you were a space alien, you’d be the one employing the rectal probe.
    Everything doesn’t have to be dissected down to minutia and trivial semantic-picking to be relevant. Discussion with you isn’t a conversation, it’s like listening to a weary PC polemic.

  39. BTW, I don’t actually call it making love, I call it fucking. Just to overshare since we’re so close and you’re giving me wifely sex tips. I guess that isn’t very loving.

  40. When has anything ever been all about men? That’s a pretty outrageous claim you are making and doesn’t fit with anything I have ever seen or read about. When was everything all supposedly about men?

  41. Mad Yale Grad,

    I think you are failing to fully understand how women reach their peak sexual fulfillment. It’s not by some skillfully foreplay that leaves them satisfied. It’s by satiating their hypergamy. Make a woman know that you are better then her, above her, and then dominate her and you can sate her hypergamy.

    There are interesting studies on the female orgasm. Did you know that women self report stronger orgasms and better sex based on how wealthy they believe the man is? Not how wealthy he actually is but how wealthy they believe he is.

    If a woman wants to help herself have a better sex life then she should submit to her husband spiritually, mentally, and physically. You will no doubt retort that it’s the man’s job to bring the woman to that point. It’s the man’s job to conquer the woman’s hypergamy. And he has to do it every day. Over and over. And she will make it far more difficult by engaging in female porn and by competing in the “who has a worse husband” victim Olympics that women hold.

    Men don’t want to have to battle a woman’s hypergamy every day while the woman is actively sabotaging her husband’s ability to sate her hypergamy. If the choice is being single and spinning plates or trying to endlessly sate a woman’s hypergamy while she actively works to prevent you from doing so then I will take spinning plates.

    Unfortunately most women are actively taught that they should never go anything for a man and they should compete in the “worst husband Olympics”. They are taught to act in ways that damage and destroy their marriages and their ability to love their husbands. We all see this going on around us constantly. That’s why this post by dragonfly is to refreshing to see. A woman who is trying to figure out ways to keep her husband, to build him up, to support his confidence, so that he can be a successful leader and he can sate her hypergamy.

  42. MYG,

    I’m not sure if you are somewhere on the autistic scale or deliberately misunderstanding. It’s not even necessarily the lingerie, though if you bother to have a nice body it is a massive visual stimulation for every single man. It’s the desire for the man that the man believes he is seeing. How can you still not get this? Men are not women. Men don’t have anything like your hypergamous desires.

    And yes all men like lingerie. The only reason they would not like it is because your body is gross. It sounds to me like you need to lose some weight and get some exercise if you are finding that men don’t like to see you in lingerie. It’s completely abnormal.

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