You want to get married… even in this crazy day and age where marriage is quite down right risky business, deep down, ever since you were a little girl, you probably envisioned that, someday, you would be married, have a beautiful house, a job, maybe be a mom, have a family of kids all your own. But now that you’re grown up, marriage seems far away, maybe even out reach for whatever reason.
Single women, let me let you in on a little secret, you have all the power in being able to attract a good man of character – a quality man. Oh yes, you do. You have the control here, you just may not know the way to unleash this power that every woman has.
1) Make Your Outward Appearance Attractive – This may sound shallow, but God designed men to be extremely visual creatures, so the first thing they will notice about a woman is her physical appearance. Is she fit? Does she dress well? Is her hair taken care of? Does she project confidence in the way she carries herself, stands, or her posture in general?
The amazing thing about your appearance is that it is almost completely within your control! You have the power to own this one with a little knowledge and instruction.
Firstly, to be attractive, you need to be fit and healthy, this doesn’t mean anorexic or bulimic (so don’t even go there), but it does mean that your body and Muscle:Fat ratio needs to display that you are shape and that you take care of your health. Men appreciate this, as they are not only visually drawn to women who are fit, but that it also subliminally sends a message that you are responsible enough to be in the shape you are in. I know this may sound unfair to women who may have metabolism issues, or possibly health issues that prevent them (or make it extremely hard for them) to lose weight. This isn’t argument about “fairness,” but about getting creative in what you can do in order to get your body more toned, firmer, etc. Most people (barring disabilities) are able to work out and make an effort in their fitness level. People have different body types, and that is great 🙂 most men are not super attracted to the Fashion Model body type as they typically complain they don’t have enough “curves,” so don’t worry if that seems unattainable, this is not me encouraging you to become a body type that may not fit you. This is me encouraging you to use your body and its natural attractiveness to your ultimate advantage. If you are not at the level of fitness that you want to be, do something about it. Start an exercise routine of working out 3 to 5 times a week, buy some hand weights at Wal-Mart, buy a yoga mat and some workout DVDs so that you can work out comfortably in your apartment or at home at first.
If you do have a bit of weight to lose, like 30+ pounds, you will more than likely need to take it slow, start off walking around your neighborhood in the mornings or evenings. Take pictures of your body before and at 4 weeks, 8 weeks, and so on, to give you the added motivation of seeing your results (and you WILL get some results, even with just walking). Don’t give up just because it is hard. Once you’ve got a routine of walking a certain distance down, pick it up to jogging/running the same distance (or as far as you can comfortably make it, and then stretch your distance with each time).
Getting a gym membership is good idea so long as you are committed to truly using it. Keep in mind it may be a great place to meet a guy who is also interested in taking care of his body as well. When a man sees a woman at his gym, he usually admires the fact that she is there, even if her body is not in the shape she thinks is “perfect,” men tend to admire effort when they see it... so when they see a woman coming in day after day, making an earnest effort to better her body physically, they give her due credit as a girl who is serious about getting fit.
You Need to Dress Well – this is also part of displaying your unique style and beauty – owning your personality and showing men (or anyone really) who you are in the way that you adorn your body. This may be my inner Fashionista talking, but your choice of clothes says so much about you. Men are drawn to and appreciate typically colorful outfits, and apparel that reveals femininity in its color or the texture. I’ve found, as a general rule, the clothes that men find most attractive are the ones that men themselves would be least likely to wear. They are the clothes that show you are a woman, and are not the clothes that display masculinity. Be sure to only wear pieces that flatter you and your body type, there is just no use in wearing a hot new item or style if it totally ruins the look of your physique or makes your body appear out of proportion. I myself have a very short torso paired with ridiculously long legs, so all throughout my teen years till now (15 years) I’ve had to choose my shirts and pants carefully to subtly elongate my torso. Some styles, even though they would look great on other girls, clashed with my body type. You can search the internet or YouTube in order to find out how to dress for your body type, and also find suggestions of styles of clothing that best flatter your assets, and diminish your “deficits.”
A word about high heels. Heels are God’s gift to women, they are an instant beauty make-over, capable of correcting your posture on a dime, make your front and back assets appear to their best advantage (you know what I’m talking about!), and make a distinctive feminine clicking sound when you walk by that gives a boost to your personal energy. Basically darling, you need to invest in heels – good heels.
Other critical aspects of your outward appearance will be saved for posts done specifically covering those topics, but for all intents and purposes, you should be maximizing the beauty of your face in two respects: having a specific skin care routine & applying makeup minimally as possible, but with the best results possible. Next is your hair, it is your greatest accessory, and the only accessory you take with you to each and every place the rest of your body goes. I’ll be doing a post solely on hair in the future, but suffice it to say, you are missing out greatly if you think your hairstyle, cut, color, and texture don’t matter… getting your hair right makes a significant enough difference in your attractiveness to men.
2) Work on Developing a Beautiful Character – I’m a firm believer that inner beauty is extremely important in a woman. It just doesn’t matter how beautifully wrapped a present or gift may be if, when opened, it is full of decaying, offensive-smelling feces. I’m serious. All men virtually want a woman who possesses inherent goodness and integrity for a serious girlfriend or lifetime partner. A plug for Christianity would be the simplistic, yet profoundly life-altering, fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A single girl who is positive, happy, full of life, kind, full of integrity, a good work ethic, goal orientated, and so on, will attract many men just because of who she is. There will be an intoxicating aura about her that draws men of all kinds in. You only need one good quality man, if you expect the best you can get, you need to make the best effort to be best girl you can be. In other words, you need to make sure you yourself are a wonderful person that is attractive not only on the outside, but also on the inside.
I’ve written before about how men can be fooled into marrying a woman, only to find out later on that she was of low character. This isn’t to say that you won’t be one of the many women who fool a man into marrying her because she acts in an admirable way during the dating relationship, but more of a warning to how you will affect yourself, your husband, and your children later on if you do not care to do the hard work of developing a beautiful character. A woman of bad character hurts everyone that is close to her… I highly doubt (if you are reading this) that you desire to leave such a legacy.
So now that you know the basics of what makes an attractive woman, stay tuned for more information coming on the details, as well as other foundational things like your Personality and Allure (not to scare any of you Christians but this would be your sex appeal – yes, it’s ok to have sensuality even if you are chaste).