Single Women – You Have The Power in Attracting a Man… Unleash It!!!

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You want to get married… even in this crazy day and age where marriage is quite down right risky business, deep down, ever since you were a little girl, you probably envisioned that, someday, you would be married, have a beautiful house, a job, maybe be a mom, have a family of kids all your own.  But now that you’re grown up, marriage seems far away, maybe even out reach for whatever reason.

Single women, let me let you in on a little secret, you have all the power in being able to attract a good man of character – a quality man.  Oh yes, you do.  You have the control here, you just may not know the way to unleash this power that every woman has.

1) Make Your Outward Appearance Attractive – This may sound shallow, but God designed men to be extremely visual creatures, so the first thing they will notice about a woman is her physical appearance.  Is she fit?  Does she dress well?  Is her hair taken care of? Does she project confidence in the way she carries herself, stands, or her posture in general?

The amazing thing about your appearance is that it is almost completely within your control!  You have the power to own this one with a little knowledge and instruction.

Firstly, to be attractive, you need to be fit and healthy, this doesn’t mean anorexic or bulimic (so don’t even go there), but it does mean that your body and Muscle:Fat ratio needs to display that you are shape and that you take care of your health.  Men appreciate this, as they are not only visually drawn to women who are fit, but that it also subliminally sends a message that you are responsible enough to be in the shape you are in.  I know this may sound unfair to women who may have metabolism issues, or possibly health issues that prevent them (or make it extremely hard for them) to lose weight.  This isn’t argument about “fairness,” but about getting creative in what you can do in order to get your body more toned, firmer, etc.  Most people (barring disabilities) are able to work out and make an effort in their fitness level.  People have different body types, and that is great 🙂 most men are not super attracted to the Fashion Model body type as they typically complain they don’t have enough “curves,” so don’t worry if that seems unattainable, this is not me encouraging you to become a body type that may not fit you.  This is me encouraging you to use your body and its natural attractiveness to your ultimate advantage.  If you are not at the level of fitness that you want to be, do something about it.  Start an exercise routine of working out 3 to 5 times a week, buy some hand weights at Wal-Mart, buy a yoga mat and some workout DVDs so that you can work out comfortably in your apartment or at home at first.

If you do have a bit of weight to lose, like 30+ pounds, you will more than likely need to take it slow, start off walking around your neighborhood in the mornings or evenings.  Take pictures of your body before and at 4 weeks, 8 weeks, and so on, to give you the added motivation of seeing your results (and you WILL get some results, even with just walking). Don’t give up just because it is hard.  Once you’ve got a routine of walking a certain distance down, pick it up to jogging/running the same distance (or as far as you can comfortably make it, and then stretch your distance with each time).

Getting a gym membership is good idea so long as you are committed to truly using it.  Keep in mind it may be a great place to meet a guy who is also interested in taking care of his body as well.  When a man sees a woman at his gym, he usually admires the fact that she is there, even if her body is not in the shape she thinks is “perfect,” men tend to admire effort when they see it... so when they see a woman coming in day after day, making an earnest effort to better her body physically, they give her due credit as a girl who is serious about getting fit.

You Need to Dress Well – this is also part of displaying your unique style and beauty – owning your personality and showing men (or anyone really) who you are in the way that you adorn your body.  This may be my inner Fashionista talking, but your choice of clothes says so much about you.  Men are drawn to and appreciate typically colorful outfits, and apparel that reveals femininity in its color or the texture.  I’ve found, as a general rule, the clothes that men find most attractive are the ones that men themselves would be least likely to wear.  They are the clothes that show you are a woman, and are not the clothes that display masculinity.  Be sure to only wear pieces that flatter you and your body type, there is just no use in wearing a hot new item or style if it totally ruins the look of your physique or makes your body appear out of proportion.  I myself have a very short torso paired with ridiculously long legs, so all throughout my teen years till now (15 years) I’ve had to choose my shirts and pants carefully to subtly elongate my torso.  Some styles, even though they would look great on other girls, clashed with my body type.  You can search the internet or YouTube in order to find out how to dress for your body type, and also find suggestions of styles of clothing that best flatter your assets, and diminish your “deficits.”

A word about high heels.  Heels are God’s gift to women, they are an instant beauty make-over, capable of correcting your posture on a dime, make your front and back assets appear to their best advantage (you know what I’m talking about!), and make a distinctive feminine clicking sound when you walk by that gives a boost to your personal energy.  Basically darling, you need to invest in heels – good heels.

Other critical aspects of your outward appearance will be saved for posts done specifically covering those topics, but for all intents and purposes, you should be maximizing the beauty of your face in two respects: having a specific skin care routine & applying makeup minimally as possible, but with the best results possible.  Next is your hair, it is your greatest accessory, and the only accessory you take with you to each and every place the rest of your body goes.  I’ll be doing a post solely on hair in the future, but suffice it to say, you are missing out greatly if you think your hairstyle, cut, color, and texture don’t matter… getting your hair right makes a significant enough difference in your attractiveness to men.

2) Work on Developing a Beautiful Character – I’m a firm believer that inner beauty is extremely important in a woman.  It just doesn’t matter how beautifully wrapped a present or gift may be if, when opened, it is full of decaying, offensive-smelling feces.  I’m serious.  All men virtually want a woman who possesses inherent goodness and integrity for a serious girlfriend or lifetime partner.  A plug for Christianity would be the simplistic, yet profoundly life-altering, fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.   A single girl who is positive, happy, full of life, kind, full of integrity, a good work ethic, goal orientated, and so on, will attract many men just because of who she is.  There will be an intoxicating aura about her that draws men of all kinds in.  You only need one good quality man, if you expect the best you can get, you need to make the best effort to be best girl you can be.  In other words, you need to make sure you yourself are a wonderful person that is attractive not only on the outside, but also on the inside.

I’ve written before about how men can be fooled into marrying a woman, only to find out later on that she was of low character.  This isn’t to say that you won’t be one of the many women who fool a man into marrying her because she acts in an admirable way during the dating relationship, but more of a warning to how you will affect yourself, your husband, and your children later on if you do not care to do the hard work of developing a beautiful character.  A woman of bad character hurts everyone that is close to her… I highly doubt (if you are reading this) that you desire to leave such a legacy.

So now that you know the basics of what makes an attractive woman, stay tuned for more information coming on the details, as well as other foundational things like your Personality and Allure (not to scare any of you Christians but this would be your sex appeal – yes, it’s ok to have sensuality even if you are chaste).

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19 thoughts on “Single Women – You Have The Power in Attracting a Man… Unleash It!!!

  1. You give some good tips here, particularly about character, but this

    “A word about high heels. Heels are God’s gift to women, they are an instant beauty make-over, capable of correcting your posture on a dime, make your front and back assets appear to their best advantage (you know what I’m talking about!), and make a distinctive feminine clicking sound when you walk by that gives a boost to your personal energy. Basically darling, you need to invest in heels – good heels.”

    … is wrong and extremely bad for women’s health.

    See here;

    http://www.danielvitalis.com/blog/2012/06/vibram-five-fingers-the-official-shoe-of-rewilding-part-1-fetish-perversion-the-barefoot-revolution

  2. Is this the advice you would give a 45 year old single woman in the church? Why not tell women that they are acceptable as they are? I know, it’s weird. So is the Bible verse that says it is okay to be single, preferable even to marriage if you can manage it. The truth is, when the Bible was written dating advice was little more than instructions on having an arranged marriage. Today there is much freedom, so let’s not forget that. It sounds like you’re preaching “The clothes make the woman.” That’s more of a worldly, mantra, isn’t it? It’s not so easily managed on a shoestring budget where one has to make hard choices. The rest of the advice is: “You have to change a, b, and c …” When we change, don’t we lose something of what we are? Is it putting on a mask of being somebody else? If your guy can’t love you even without make-up, heels, and lack of sewing skills, then he’s more in love with a stereotype than you as a person and you don’t need to attract that sort.

  3. For one thing, I do not for one moment believe you (yourself) are truly interested in attracting men. I could be wrong of course, but you do not sound like my target audience of single women who want to actually attract a man, who are unhappy being single, and who are dealing with sexual sins because of the lust they feel (a lot of single women, even Christians, are looking at porn now on the regular). I wholly believe that you, yourself, are probably uncapable of understanding or acknowledging any of that, thus why you criticize an article based from your own point of view and misguided use of Scripture. My husband & I had a laugh reading your comment, but when I really asked him how on earth I should respond to such a women who had no understanding, he was angry at how you first, suggest that I’m saying that women should be married (never said that), how you pull out that scripture on being single is preferrable without taking into context the entire verse that says that it is better to marry if they are going to burn with lust. He was angry enough to actually want to create an account (lol something he’s never wanted to do before and never has had time to do)… so for that, I genuinely thank you 🙂 You’ve unleashed The Dragon… something I haven’t been able to do for couple of years of blogging, and you, with one idiotic comment have successfully done for me LOL.

    I will only respond once (his advice) and no more afterwards because I honestly don’t think you want true answers here. My response is for onlookers, for their benefit only.

    Is this the advice you would give a 45 year old single woman in the church?

    First, I’d have a lot of questions for that 45 yr single woman. Why has she spent 25+ years in the dating market not getting married? How many good men has she passed over because they didn’t fit her own stereotype of the perfect man? Was she divorced? Did she marry and then drive her husband insane by not submitting to him, not caring to meet any of his needs, beating him into a shell of a man she could no longer respect anymore? Over 70% of divorces are filed by the wife… did she anger God by divorcing her husband, instead of sticking around and submitting to him and earnest trying to win him over in the way the Bible expressly says she should’ve done (without words but instead with a submissive and gentle spirit).

    If she has been single all this time, does she have any desire to be married? If she doesn’t, then she possibly has the Gift of Singleness, something I firmly believe some very few women have, and that then, is beautiful (think Mother Theresa here). But that goes back to your perverted comment: if she has the Gift of Singleness & subsequently no desire to be married, then why on earth would you suggest this advice be for her? End of Subject.

    Why not tell women that they are acceptable as they are?

    LOL… I actually had a good sardonic laugh when I read this question out loud. Its like anytime someone suggests that people actually have the power to make themselves better or into more improved and wiser people than they already are, all hell has broken loose! 😀 Seriously, why not tell medical school applicants that they should just be acceptable as they are? That there is no need for them to try to study to get in to their coveted school? No point to gain any knowledge so that they can better their future, and secure an outcome (becoming an employed Doctor), but that they should just achieve all that as they are, without any effort on their part, or any instruction on how to secure their future goals. If a single girl is wanting to attract a man, the first thing she needs instruction on is how to be attractive, unless she is just a natural at it (which honestly, a lot of women aren’t for one reason or another). Most women learn these values and principals from their mothers (I had an amazing mother who knew exactly what men find attractive and appealing, so I feel an obligation to help friends and other singles who are struggling in this area). In this age of feminism, many mothers are failing to teach their daughters what men are attracted to – because to put any effort at all into wanting to be good to a man, attractive to a man, or being anything to a man is considered beneath a woman. It is one of the biggest lies that has caused so much pain in many marriages, as women are not at all motivated to care about their husbands or in some cases, to even treat them as people with separate wants and desires.

    So your comment, is pure perversion, disgusting to me (the way you twist Scripture for your own benefit and use), and part of the reason there are so many problems in our world concerning these issues between the genders.

  4. I agree 100% that many modern women today have completely lost touch with the power of being a woman, the power of the feminine. As you point out, it is about being a beautiful and charming being inside and out. For years I dressed in dumpy baggy clothing and ignored my appearance because I had been led to believe being beautiful was the same as being weak, or oppressed, or not taken seriously. What a waste! In Song of Solomon, there is much about being a beautiful, sensual, loving wife, and the Proverbs 31 woman takes pains with her (and her children’s) appearance to reflect well on her husband. The bible does warn against vanity, a wife should not break the bank in her pursuit of beauty nor should she pursue it for attention/admiration from other men than her husband or misuse her power. To have a lovely wife that he feels proud of, that is a huge boost to a man. A well married man is respected by other men, as well. With effort, all women can be attractive, some more than others of course, but one can be stunning even if she is not “beautiful.” The French have mastered the art of that!

  5. Oh wow Bloom!!! I hadn’t read that one from Andrew… oh wow even just Scarlett Johansson’s picture contrast is convincing enough. He is so good. I’m going to be pulling out a lot of his pieces (the one on hair, posture, and a few more probably) directing women to his site as well. Thank you for posting this link and for your comments 🙂

  6. “If your guy can’t love you even without make-up, heels, and lack of sewing skills, then he’s more in love with a stereotype than you as a person and you don’t need to attract that sort.”

    Yeah Jamie Carter there’s a fine line to walk between optimizing our looks to attract a mate that we find attractive as well, and being fake. Both men and women who want partners need to optimize their best points in looks and personality. That’s not being fake, its just honing in on our best characteristics and emphasizing that.

    But if someone doesn’t normally wear heels for example, and has no intention on wearing them for her entire life, then wearing heels just to attract a man who likes heels is deceptive. There are plenty of men out there who do not like heels. In fact it tends to be women who notice other womens’ shoes rather than men. These heels thing is really women wearing them because they like them or because they want to impress other women, not men.

    For the natural beauties out here – those who don’t want or need to wear heels, makeup and other deceptions to look or feel good, there are plenty of men who like the natural look and they are the pool of fish to target.

  7. Pingback: Why is Attractiveness in Marriage Important? | girlwithadragonflytattoo

  8. i get what you are saying but the high heels thing is not gonna work for all women. for example i cant wear high heels to save my life. I looked like a baby learning to walk for the first time so i wear tennis shoes or flats.

    also the clothes choice, i like certain styles mostly geek chic,tee shirts,steampunk,victorian goth, and pastel goth. Those are the styles I like and I look good in them however most guys think i look weird, one person actually asked me one if i worshiped the devil- i laughed but not every women dresses like a Kardashian; there are many styles out there in the world and its best to see what works for you.

    i will read your hair post as well

  9. Hi Sapphire, yes, I’m sure heels aren’t for all women definitely.

    “Those are the styles I like and I look good in them however most guys think i look weird, one person actually asked me one if i worshiped the devil”

    ^I guess the question is are you concerned about attracting a man? I understand everyone has their own personal style so to speak, but if “most guys” don’t react well to how you dress, why not try to dress more feminine? Are you trying to attract a man that is into the style you’re currently wearing? If so then that makes sense, but if not… or if there just aren’t many guys that are into geek/punk/goth style, it might be wise to consider a whole new look.

  10. i do want to attract a man hopefully for marriage and those styles especially the pastel goth is very girly. victorian and steampunk is skirts and corsets like during victorian times. geek chic is basically wearing feminine clothes but they have like game of thrones ,Harry potter,star wars etc on them.

    i dont wear what most guys would prefer feminine- i dont wear heels no do i wear pounds of makeup on my face nor do i wear miniskirts or thot wear.

    yes,it would be nice to meet a guy with similar interests and doesn’t think its ungirly for me to like magic the gathering or playing video games.

  11. There are a lot of guys who like their girlfriends (or wives… guilty!) to play video games with them. My husband considers me extremely feminine, but he still bought me the Assassins game. And most men don’t like a pound of makeup on a woman either! They seem to prefer little to no makeup (or skillfully applied makeup that looks like it isn’t there lol).

    I hope you find him soon… I know you’ve been looking for awhile.

  12. yeah, i just turned 25 this past easter sunday and i only have one year left in my nursing program.

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