Last month, I was going through my jeans to see which ones were going to make the “fit” for my post preggers body. I thought this photo was fitting (no pun intended. And the sweet baby boy is just hard to resist! But really, this is another “harsh ugly truths” post for any single women out there actively in the dating market.
Men don’t want you to be an easy woman. In other words, men are very disappointed when you’re too fast to become sexual.
Not all men feel this way, obviously, men are fine with using women (if the woman lets them) for sex or booty calls – without even being in a legit relationship. As I’ve written before, men view sex differently than most women, however, it’s a universal truth that when they are looking for a LTR (Long-term relationship) they explicitly do not want an easy girl. They want a girl that guards her sexuality, and men will undoubtedly judge you on how quick you are to allow them to have sex with you.
8 years ago, when I was working in the children’s section at a clothing department store, I had a real life example gifted to me concerning this topic. I heard from a female friend (who was a girl that fell into the category of “just one of the guys“) tell me about some guy who worked with us, and his experience dating a mutual friend of ours that past weekend. He had dated a cute, very posh young 20’s girl with a perfect pixie face, blonde hair, and a slender, petite (5’2” frame) body, who worked in the women’s department across the length of the huge store. We both knew her, and we both were rooting for her to have a relationship with this guy. My friend described how one of the guys was explaining, almost incredulously, how this girl put out (and had sex with him) the night of that first date. I was shocked at how she displayed his obvious tone of almost ridicule & disappointment. As though she failed at something and inadvertently made a fool of herself. It’s not that he truly hated that she was so easy – hey, he got free, very easy sex out of it for sure – but he definitely did not admire her anymore. There was a part of him he may not have even really been in touch with, that absolutely did not like (and most definitely did not respect) how easy she was for him to have sex with. Whatever pedestal he had put her on in his mind, more than likely due to her beautiful looks and optimistic attitude, she had fallen off of – a kind of falling from grace. He was disgusted with her, even though he had used her for easy sex, she was immediately disqualified from his search for a real girlfriend.
Single women, the takeaway lesson you need to learn is that: Men will deliberately test you on this. They will try to get sex from you, possibly even on the first date. This is NOT them wanting you to actually give in to them, it is part of their (sometimes without their knowledge even) screening process to find out if you’re a “slut.” *Sidenote: I hate that word, so much… however, that is the very word a man will call you to himself after he finds out that you were way too easy.*
If you fail a man’s test to see how easy you are, you immediately lose respect in their eyes, and most often are out of the game when it comes to being their long term relationship. They may categorize you into a line of women they are comfortable using for easy & reliable sex or late night “booty calls,” but they will not respect you enough to make you girlfriend material (and it is usually even more stringent when it comes to wife material).
In a “sexual market place,” you immediately lose points or “value” in their eyes, as it is a direct relationship to how much you value your precious sexuality (and ultimately, your virginity – which is a lot more valuable to men than you would think, even in this culture that makes you think it’s weird or odd). The holy grail of a man’s conquering of a woman is to claim her for himself (all to himself), and for her to have been a virgin. Men don’t mind women who have had what they call a “low N” (low number of sexual partners), but they hold up this view of a virginal (young) woman as a mythical creature, even calling it a “unicorn,” because it’s so desirable, but so rare in this day and age.
There are other unknown psychological reasons men will test single women in this way, one being to see if they would be a good marriage partner or mother to their future children. One may think men don’t think about these things, but when they are truly searching for a longterm relationship, they have these questions in the back of their mind. Studies have shown that the more sexually promiscuous a woman is before marriage, the more likely she is to cheat on her future spouse. Of course it doesn’t always happen that way, and there are exceptions. Exceptions don’t negate or disprove the general rule and statistics though. This then creates a huge risk factor in the man marrying a woman who had a “high N” (high number of sexual partners)… there is just too much risk in trusting his future wife and mother of his children to hand her a ticking time bomb to blow up her little family with an affair or continued sexual promiscuity. If she was that easy for him to get into her pants, what will prevent her from being easy when she’s tempted later in life?
No single man on the prowl is going to tell you all this, in fact, he may not even realize he values these things until he is ready for a serious relationship or marriage, but I urge you single girls to pay attention to this played out around you. Watch your girlfriends’ relationships and dates and watch couples you’ve known that got married. There may be some exceptions, but try to find patterns of how fast men will move on after having had access to a girl that was too easy.
“I’ll get married when unicorns and faeries start popping up. Until then, there is no point.”
-Omega Male 2012
“If I’m looking for an LTR, and the girl puts out easily, I’ll accept her putting out, but I’ll disqualify her for an LTR. Now women have told me, “just tell her not to put out then!” But that defeats the whole purpose, if you have to tell her not to be a slut in order to get you, than her not being a slut isn’t genuine and the girl I want to commit to is a genuine non-slut, not someone just acting out the behavour of one.” Chris 2013
(Quotes found on http://www.therationalmale.com a website written by Rollo Tomassi)