Us women can be so hard on each other, what was intended for friendship, support, and fellowship – even for the purpose of strengthening your relationship with God – like most things on earth, can be polluted and destroyed.
I remember a time when I was dating my husband, there was a girl who had become friends with an ex-boyfriend of mine (one who I dated for a mere 4 months); she was friends with a group of my close friends, and as a result, we found each other both at the same party. I was friendly toward her, but not close as we simply didn’t know each other well.
As we were all sitting down together at our friend’s party, out of the blue, this girl made the rudest comments to me & my now-husband about our relationship, tying in arguments I’d had with my ex, in the most condescending way. It completely took me by surprise – it had been months since I’d dated him, and her behavior seemed so inappropriate for the party (or anywhere, except a private place where she could talk to me). Luckily it didn’t ruin our friend’s party, but it did hurt me back then, to feel so randomly attacked for her perceived harms.
This girl wasn’t evil or anything, she was a good friend to many of our mutual friends, but whatever my ex-boyfriend had told her, whatever she had believed about who I was, truly ruined the chance for a real and meaningful friendship.
Women are God’s representation of beauty on this earth in the way we act, help, and love others.
For me personally, women friendships have been just as fulfilling as my friendship with my husband. Friends are so needed in life! But it is amazing how friendships can just be so opposed, through various things, but especially with slander or gossip, and resentment or envy.
This is how Satan uses us to destroy one another – or to destroy the possibility of friendships with each other. If he can get us fighting among ourselves, right in the church body, slandering each other, gossiping, and building up resentment upon resentment, then he’s already won in the most victorious way.
It’s something that’s been on my mind lately with all the “Mommy Wars” talk – women taking sides against each other on the topics of body image, birth choices, breast-feeding, or getting back into shape after having babies. Social media has made it easy to further the problems that women friendships already have by throwing messages in our face, getting us to pick sides, and villainize each other over . It’s ridiculous arguments like these that divide us and cause our friendships to suffer.
We all fall prey to this at times, we have to constantly be on guard against making unfair judgments, building up resentments, or giving in to gossip. We have to protect our friendships, because if you’re Christian, you know there is someone who is doing everything he can to destroy them.
In the end, I’m afraid we are his greatest weapon.