Help Your Husband Get Ahead

helpyourhubby getahead

Last night I was at a meeting of wives who meet after their busy days, at an office that has been closed, after dark, bringing all kinds of food for each other (and our kids) to eat, all for the purpose of supporting our husbands in their profession.  Usually we talk about various projects we can do for our husband’s, events we hold, and general budgeting and planning… but last night we touched on a topic that inspired this post: How to Help Our Husbands Get Ahead.

We talked about the different things we can do to help them pursue promotions (and get raises), practical tips like helping them make notecards, or studying certain things ourselves so that we really know what we’re talking about with them.  Being up-to-date on any changes that would affect them or their job tasks such as news items, new laws, and political decisions.  It was a great topic, we even went into financial strategies for the quickest ways and safest ways to invest our money so that it would have triple return.

It made me think about how we in this day and age, usually just let our husbands worry about such things and go through them alone – wives aren’t usually making notecards for their husband’s huge exam, or studying his material so that they know how to converse with him about it… wives now-a-days are extremely busy – we’re always running our kids to different activities, handling usually the bulk of the household chores (whether working or not), and the bulk of parenting (whether working or not)… add in a full-time job, and how on earth do we survive let alone help our husbands?

In our feminist culture, a selfish ideology is projected of I want ME to excel… he can handle his own career, you rarely see a wife that is truly interested in her husband’s career advancement – to the point of involving herself to make sure it happens.  The thing is, marriage is a partnership, you’re supposed to help each other throughout all of life – many men would help their wife study – its part of their loyal nature and desire for quality time together to readily accept helping her study for an upcoming exam.  Women, on the other hand, are usually quick to turn their husbands down, mainly due to all the extra things we’re trying to juggle.

It was an interesting topic, it made me really think about how it’s a privilege to help your husband get ahead – and you will certainly reap the rewards afterwards.  Finding the time to really assess what it would take to help him get a promotion or take more classes to advance his career, seems to be worth it for your family and your marriage.

So pay attention, ask him questions, see if he wants to do anything else with his life, and help your man get ahead!


  1. That is an interesting topic for an old retired guy married 58 years to the same gal. She wanted to be a stay at home mom and was willing to live on my small salary. We married young and quickly had 3 children–she was busy doing home work and I was busy trying to get ahead.

    This may seen off topic, but I think all men and especially husbands crave female approval. She should have had it from their mothers, girl friends and later the wife. We just sort of played it by ear, but looking back I see how it worked. When I got a raise in pay, she was very complimentary. She really warmed up with promotions and bonuses—I gave her all of the bonus. She was very appreciative. This make me work hard for her and her appreciation.

    However, I overhead gals at work talking about a guy at work who had outgrew his wife and he was divorcing her. She was a stay at home wife–like mine. So, I urged my wife to try classes at college and start taking art lessons to develop her water coloring talents. She got ‘A’s in college and had her paintings used on music CD’s in Hawaii—about 5 of them my one singer. I did not want my wife to be like the other one. So, in my case, I helped develop my wife.

  2. Forgot, I had one boss in Grand Rapids who went to college to study his occupation. She said she wanted to be able to understand what he was doing and talking about. He thought it was unnecessary, but I thought she was really very smart.

  3. You’re pretty awesome. We both, I think, are trying to accomplish the same thing, just in different ways.

    I really appreciate how you occasionally turn conventional wisdom on its head.

    Or at least, offer a new way to think about something. Thanks for that.

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