So… my post is a little late today because I wanted to wait for my husband to do this thing together. It’s fun to randomly do these kinds of questions with each other, why save romance for anniversaries and Valentine’s Day? So here’s our little marriage project questions answered from both of us, a way to get to know who we are a little better. S is me, and P is my husband.
1) What is the best thing (to you) about being married?
S – I love the intimacy of completely knowing someone, loving them, and getting to live daily life with them… when you’re married to your best friend, life is easier… you don’t argue as much, and when you do argue, it’s very passionate and to the point – no faking agreement, you’re driven to have that person close to you again, so you get through things much faster. And if one of you is going through a hard time, you have the other there for you, you aren’t alone in the things you face in life anymore. You actually enjoy each other’s company. We’ve seen soooo many couples divorce or continue in really unequal & unfulfilling marriages that it almost seems uncommon to have a great one. I think I’ve heard that we are in the 10% that do at this stage.
P – I love that I married someone I knew so well. We could talk about anything and just enjoy each others presence. I love how we know each other so well we cannot keep anything from each other. I love how we put the others well-being over our own. When we have arguments they are not fun at the time but when we look back most the time we can laugh since we really do try and work through the arguments and get to have very passionate make up sex. I love how S can be such a tease some times and how she can look beautiful all the time. I love how when we go out she dresses up without being slutty/ revealing in what she wears and still looks amazing (I catch guys all the time while we are out checking her out and I have to fight back wanting to punch them in the face, especially the ones that are either married or in a relationship). I love having someone I can go through the ups and downs of life with knowing that they will always be there, since I took the time to get to know them by concentrating on true loving relationship that was not centered on sex.
2) What do you wish you knew earlier in your marriage that you know now?
P – I wish I knew the proper way to argue because at first I was only thinking of my point of view and getting it understood. I know now we need to talk and actually listen when we argue because most the time you will realize how silly the argument is or at least get the differences that are disagreed upon sometimes that are not on opposite sides of the spectrum.
S – You know, we’re really lucky that I worked at a bookstore our first year LOL… I had every Christian (and some secular) marriage books literally at my fingertips. If I had a question about something (which, of course, I always did) I could easily find it in one of the books there and get fast, expert advice on virtually any topic. We also were preventative and went to a class called Dynamic Marriage at our church that was more designed for couples who were in crisis… we definitely were far from crisis, we were blissful, but it was an eye-opening experience to the misery that many couples experience every day.
3) How do you balance time for each other with children & work?
S – We’ve been married almost 7 years, and have always treasured our time together, but it does take effort to make sure date nights, or even conversations happen. For the past year, P’s been just enveloped in his work/career trying to get through special training that was demanding and physically exhausting, and now we’re dealing with awkward schedules and tons of mandatory overtime for him. We try to have at least a monthly date night where we go out and just be together (we’re really good at not spending money to have fun), but our goal is to get to where we have our weekly date nights again… dating when you’re married really is so important. And just talking, some of my absolute favorite moments are when P comes home in the morning and we have intimate conversation over coffee together (well, I’m drinking coffee at least), it can be about anything, but it’s usually really deep conversation, and it just feels so intimate.
P – We try to find anytime that we can to just be together just the two of us. It was easier when it was just the two of us being able to go out whenever, and not having to spend money. Now we make sure we can have at least one date night where we go somewhere alone and just enjoy each others company. We attempt to have at least a few minutes a day to talk about what is on our minds and at least once a week spend some good quality time with each other at our home when we are the only two up.
4) What do you love most about each other?
P – I love S’s feminine charm and how cute she is. I love how S is, and acts like a woman all the time, however it is adorable when those few moments happen when she reverts to a girlish charm for a short period. I love how S can wear her emotions on her sleeve like when she gets mad, I cannot help but smile and laugh which makes her even madder. I love how S goes after what she wants, and is very passionate about it, and I will just leave it at that (it is over her entire life, but particularly in those special moments only I get to experience).
S – I love P’s amazing attitude about life… he is so positive. And maleness – he is such a guy, and it just makes me feel so pretty and feminine LOL… we are SO opposites that we often joke that he is like a dog in his actions and demeanor, and I’m like a cat – we’re literally that different…. But no really, he has a wicked sense of humor, and we laugh a lot together – which is just wonderful. He’s an amazing and crazy dad to our son!!! I can’t stress how happy this makes me 😀
5) What is your favorite moment you’ve had together? What do you see in the future for your marriage?
S – There are a lot of favorite moments! I can think of so many right from the start on our honeymoon together when we walked next to a river and pink crepe myrtle trees rained down their pink flowers on us when we walked under them… it was like a corny moment from a romantic movie – but so beautiful I can’t forget it. Our “Babymoon” we took when I was 2 months pregnant with our son… we went to the coast for a few days – in the middle of winter! But it was so fun! We had a blast together, and just getting away from everyday life and getting into a hotel – eating at our favorite restaurants down there, all of it was so romantic and just what we needed to do before having children. Our Love-Get-Away to Marble Falls a couple of years ago, our parents watched our son and we were FREE for a couple of days to stay up super late, go to a movie at 11pm, sleep in for once together as a couple, and eat breakfast uninterrupted at a French bakery! Or when we had our son – watching P with him, taking such great care with his little tiny body… I’ll never forget moments like that.
What do I see in the future? Hopefully more kids! Hopefully more little Love-Get-Aways once a year or so… and more focus on spending quality time together, whether that’s fitting in conversations at home or scheduled date nights. Making our relationship always better and purposeful. And beauty… I want to make our life beautiful together.
P – There are many moments I’ve enjoyed. I enjoyed the “Babymoon” and Love-Get-Away, but I think some of the best moments are when something spontaneous happens and we can just enjoy it. We can be doing something and a random thing happens and we burst out in laughter both thinking the same thing, that our life could be a sitcom because you just cannot make up the things that have happened.
I see more children in our future, more Love-Get-Aways and our life becoming more of a sitcom with the extra children running around. I would love to take our children to places that we could enjoy as a family. I see our love and passion growing stronger, and being able to be an example to our children on what a marriage can be.
Hope you enjoyed it!