Men Don’t Just Want More Sex… They Want to Feel Full

Sex is intoxicating… but it is also the most misunderstood aspect of a marriage.  Most people think that a man’s general complaint is that he wants more sex, when in reality, he really wants (and needs) the most fulfilling, emotionally binding, exciting kind of sexual fulfillment… he just may not even know it.

Men crave not just sex, but a deeper emotional connection with their wives that comes from their wife actually enjoying sex with him, verbally expressing how much she craves him, and the thrill of fulfilling each other’s fantasies in the safe environment of their marriage relationship.

When a woman merely gives-in to fulfill her wifely duties or even passively tolerates a normal sex life with her husband, she is slowly killing him inside (and the passion in their marriage).  Men are much more emotionally in-tune than society generally gives them credit for, they want connection – they want that passionate sex that true lovers have.

Often if men aren’t getting this kind of sexual fulfillment from their wives, they look elsewhere outside the home… it’s honestly natural (even if it is immoral).  If their wife is prudish, always wanting the same kind of sex, or thinking about her to-do list while he’s on top of her, the man is going to feel it!  Husbands want an engaged wife – a wife that’s not afraid to let him know what feels good – or great to her!  He wants his wife to feel in-tune with her sensuality and confident enough to even make sounds if he’s really getting it right.

The last thing a man wants is lots of sex without quality over the emotional connection that comes from really great sex.

Throughout history men have always sought out prostitutes and extra marital sex.  Even today men continue to seek out skilled prostitutes (who know how to really act like they enjoy sex with their customers), strippers, phone sex (men really do love when you use your voice during sex), and the bustling online porn industry so that they can try to sate this need for their sexual fulfillment.  In my experience, most men would give up all of that to have a great sex life with their spouse; they are usually driven to these other options by being married to a woman who doesn’t understand (or sometimes even care about) their need for sexual fulfillment.

So… Surprise Him

Men love for their wife to surprise them by coming-on to them, when a wife initiates her desire like this… or throws him for a loop with a Sex-On-The-Spot kind of action, it momentarily makes him forget altogether the stresses of his job, or any other frustration he is having.  Adding variety to when, where, and how a couple has sex is incredibly fulfilling to a man (and the woman)!

Since I could literally write like 5 books on this one topic, I’m going to stop and give some ideas so that the post isn’t ridiculously long:

  • Surprise your husband with an out of the ordinary sexual experience – either the moment he comes home from work, middle of the night sex, or morning sex if those things are irregular for you


  • Play a game of strip poker – make sure you wear the best lingerie you have!


  • If you live in the country (secluded area) or have your own private swimming pool or Jacuzzi, try having sex outdoors (in privacy)


  • Let your husband know you want him by using some kind of code in the morning that there will be lots of action later when he gets home


  • Try setting up your morning routines (or evening routines) so that you take showers together sometimes… this is so sensual and gives your husband the mental images of water running over your naked body for days afterward!


Whatever you do, have fun and understand that he doesn’t just want more sex… he wants to feel full.


  1. You nailed it.

    This reminded me of some gals in my last office. Their peers called them the Cosmos Girls due to their devotion to the modern magazine. They said the magazine listed many ways to to get your husband home right after work–not working late. I was a manager and tried to be discreet, but I loved overhearing their wild stories that they shared with their staff. All the magazine suggested to the gals was about more exciting sex for their spouses. lol They claimed that after a week they are all rushing home.

    I was concerned in that there is the law is dissipation. In other words, doing their new sex thing every night, baring obvious one week breaks, would get old, but I don’t know what happened.

    Some things that I heard were kind of wild–to me. lol

    I guess it worked.

    Back to you more mature and practical post. I think you are right. It is nice when wives are really into it. I joke a lot about it in my portraying my self as sexually deprived sometimes in jest.

    You know your sex is not pleasing her when:

    She says a spider is on the ceiling.

    Wake me up when you are done.

    Could you hurry. I Love Lucy starts in five minutes.

  2. Wake me up when you are done….that´s a good one.

    I have a question, Don´t you get bored of doing it always with the same person? Jesus, the most I spent was 3 years with a girl and I couldn´t get it up anymore. It was the same thing every other day.

  3. No Charly, I never get bored – it’s still amazing. But we keep the romance alive in the relationship… its not just centered only around sex – even though we do have more than probably most couples – the romance kind of lasts beyond that. I think I’m lucky, but we’ve also worked since day 1 to try to create that kind of marriage. It isn’t always perfect, we still have an occasional argument or fight, but we know each other better than ever now.

  4. You just said it, you know each other very well. I think that for me that is what takes away the magic. You end up knowing the other person so well, in all their facets that I get bored. So when it gets to sex I´m just not into it. I´m strange.

  5. Personally, I prefer really good sex over a lot of just “meaningless” sex. I define good sex as when there is a lot of passion by both partners. If she is not into it, I prefer not to have it, no matter how attractive she may be defined as. For me, the excitement of sex is mostly about seeing my partner enjoy it, without that it isn’t even fun.

  6. Much as I’m against ‘compulsory’ anything — this should be compulsory reading in school. Like HMN said above “You nailed it”.

  7. Honestly, I really wish my boyfriend would have sex with me. I often feel unattractive, thinks that he is cheating, but it keeps saying that he is tired. Which is understandable when he works 11-17 hours a day. But I always have that imagine that men – they have sex whenever they want, even if it means, they do it with one closed eye to get some sleep.

  8. Men really do get too tired for sex! 11-17 hours a day is a lot!!! He probably truly is just too tired. Maybe suggesting he get a different job that has less hours, or trying to be intimate on his days off. Let me know what happens, or what you try to do.

  9. Sex education? That’s still a controversial subject even here in post-modern USA. What grade level would you introduce this in?

  10. I’d leave that to the sexperts … ouch … brings a whole new dimension to ‘show and tell’, doesn’t it?

    I think that here in New Zealand most kids are entirely aware by the time they’ve wrecked their first cell phone and there are no surprises left. Making it formal? Is that really the job of the education system—shouldn’t it rather be done in the home, with perhaps the system playing longstop and filling in any gaps?

  11. “Making it formal? Is that really the job of the education system—shouldn’t it rather be done in the home, with perhaps the system playing longstop and filling in any gaps?”

    Uh, dude, you were the one who wrote, “this should be compulsory reading in school.” Not me.

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