Men and women are so different (I hear Professor Snape’s voice in my head saying… “Obviously…”). Our fears are even so uniquely different….
Men seem to fear these two things the most:
1) Being ruled over by a woman. Instinctively, we know this. No man wants a woman who controls or forces him to do whatever she wants – how unfeminine!
I’m not talking about being a “needy female,” that is also a turn-off to most men.
In our day and age, it is possible to be the strong, independent, working woman and still have a certain need for your man, to be feminine and desire his masculine strength, yet have your own inner resolve and strength as well. He wants you to need him. A woman that’s too independent projects a man-crushing aura instead. He doesn’t want some superwoman who has utterly no need for his presence or help.
2) Not being enough, or the “anxiety of being found inadequate.” I think one of a man’s deepest need is to be with someone who makes him realize all that he is, someone who makes him feel like a man. Everyone has flaws, and I’m not talking about pretending someone doesn’t have any at all, but I heard a great (albeit strange) piece of advice when I was younger about men:
Don’t forget his flaws, just embrace him,
and like a deeply treasured & admired vase, turn him to the side of his best view
(look and display his best side).
Nothing is more of a turn-off than a woman who makes her husband feel less than. Admire your husband’s masculine traits… if he works hard, supports his family, or takes care of his parents – he is a treasure & stepping up to the challenge of true masculinity – offering his world and his family his much needed strength.