Man’s Fear

Men and women are so different (I hear Professor Snape’s voice in my head saying… “Obviously…”).  Our fears are even so uniquely different….

Men seem to fear these two things the most:

1) Being ruled over by a woman.  Instinctively, we know this.  No man wants a woman who controls or forces him to do whatever she wants – how unfeminine!

I’m not talking about being a “needy female,” that is also a turn-off to most men.

In our day and age, it is possible to be the strong, independent, working woman and still have a certain need for your man, to be feminine and desire his masculine strength, yet have your own inner resolve and strength as well.  He wants you to need him.  A woman that’s too independent projects a man-crushing aura instead.  He doesn’t want some superwoman who has utterly no need for his presence or help.

2) Not being enough, or the “anxiety of being found inadequate.”  I think one of a man’s deepest need is to be with someone who makes him realize all that he is, someone who makes him feel like a man.  Everyone has flaws, and I’m not talking about pretending someone doesn’t have any at all, but I heard a great (albeit strange) piece of advice when I was younger about men:

Don’t forget his flaws, just embrace him,

and like a deeply treasured & admired vase, turn him to the side of his best view

(look and display his best side).

Nothing is more of a turn-off than a woman who makes her husband feel less than.  Admire your husband’s masculine traits… if he works hard, supports his family, or takes care of his parents – he is a treasure & stepping up to the challenge of true masculinity – offering his world and his family his much needed strength.



8 thoughts on “Man’s Fear

  1. Feminists would hate that first part. Yes, I too think women should be strong, but men should be just slightly stronger. Actually, I think biology agrees, so this statement is kind of redundant.

    There was a movie allegory for this: “John Carter”. I know some people didn’t like the movie, but one thing I thought was cool was how the female lead didn’t just lie around like the helpless damsel. She fought along side the male lead. He was stronger, but she was still pretty strong herself.

    Protection is not the same as oppression. I learned this from my mother. She provided me with food and a bed to sleep in but let me be pretty independent even at a young age.

    Men don’t want their flaws recognized? Really? I don’t know because I’m not a typical guy, maybe. But that almost sounds like what women want too. Women want to be told they’re “beautiful” even when it’s not quite true, right?

  2. I love your comments! Yes, I totally agree with you… I’ve rarely seen a man admit that he wants a woman who would fight along side the male lead. It is so apart of how we were made – even the Hebrew for what Eve was supposed to be to Adam literally is translated into “Life Saver” not just “helper.” She was vital to him. A weak or passive woman can’t fill that role.

    It’s a delicate balance.

    And you’re right, every… single… woman… wants to be seen as beautiful, though some have been so hurt they repress this desire.

    I think every woman has a beauty to unveil in herself, many just aren’t in touch with it or know the tools of how to display it. I loved your post on inner/outer beauty… it’s ridiculous how much I agree with you!

  3. To see in others what is beautiful and to do so in blatant disregard for societal norms is to be the child that lives in the back of your mind. To throw off the shackles of the crimes of our social disease, earned for us by virtue of living here, and simply see another for the child that lives in the back of their mind is the only way to truly love, one of the few choices for freedom we still retain… to live each day as a child, in the wonderment that this life truly is.

  4. Pingback: In Response: Man’s Fear | myatheistlife

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