If you are looking for a man (secretly, because it is a turn-off to be actively seeking, of course), you must be able to look past the outer shell of a man. Men of any age and any background generally hold their true worth deep down, guarded against the outside world that can be cruel and abrasive to their inner heart.
You must be able to look past this shell of toughness, humor, or intellectualism to see who the man really is – to look into his heart. If you do, you will most likely find a treasure there – and if you let him know you like what you see, he will adore you all the more for it.
Do not be misguided by someone who is extremely handsome… just like in women, beauty is admirable and we all love to see it, however it really doesn’t mean anything when it comes down to who you want beside you – through thick and thin. Also, many women want someone who resembles stretch armstrong, muscular and well-built, this is also ridiculous… you need to look into a man’s soul and make sure he is wonderful on the inside, muscles are nice, but to ignore a man who might not have obvious outward strength negates that he might have amazing and admirable inner strength (which again, matters infinity more in the long run). Finding a man with inner strength is like finding a diamond in the rough!
A thing to avoid is to never attempt to change a man… you absolutely must be ok with who he is at the moment. It would be so horrible to marry someone thinking you will change aspects of them later – a great disservice to yourself, but also to the man who honestly believed you loved him as he was! You must come to accept that a man who is not all that you wish he would be – at this moment – would not be right for you. Choose someone who you accept right now, with all his human qualities & yes, some flaws (no one is ever perfect).
Speaking of perfectionism, don’t make the mistake of searching constantly and un-endingly for a perfect man – there is no perfect woman (you yourself are not perfect), and so it would be ridiculous to believe you can find a perfect man.
Some things that are wonderful in a man (what to look for!):
- Tenderness (especially with children or animals)
- Thoughtfulness (how does he treat his mother)
Look past his outer shell, you might just find your heart’s delight 😉