It’s Unfair

“Faith’s most severe tests come not when we see nothing,

but when we see a stunning array of evidence that seems to prove our faith vain.”

Elisabeth Elliot

Life is unfair, you can’t control who you are born to, what happens to you growing up, sicknesses that may come, unexpected heartbreak, even divorce many times, is out of our control now.  You may have to watch your children suffer with something you can’t help them with, or worse, you may be the one to bury your child.  Life is unfair.

It’s in times like this that we doubt all we thought we knew – if you’re a good person, good things should certainly happen to you – right? 

God loves you, He allows horrible things to happen yes, but don’t miss the blessing that might be hidden in the heartache.  You might learn from your child, lessons you never would’ve imagined, through watching them struggle in life with a disability or disease.  A divorce that left you broken and disillusioned could propel you to learn to lean on God for your sustinance.  Your story of pain, no matter where it came from, could help another have hope through theirs.  Your heart will change and become something of beauty as it is greatly enlarged through suffering – you won’t be the same person you were – you develop kindness, goodness, because you’ve felt suffering, you are no longer blind to the plight of other people.  Life gains meaning.  Heartache whether for your own life, your child’s, or because of unfair loss has a way of developing you into a stronger yet more tender-hearted person, it develops character (and don’t we all want that).

Don’t give in to bitterness, it might feel hopeless, and there will be moments of struggling with pain and anger at a bad hand you might’ve been dealt in life, but don’t let these feelings linger long.  Acknowledge them, feel their pain, and release them  – forgive. 
It is the only way to live your life in happiness, you have to let go of the situation, the people, the things in life that hurt you – in truth, we don’t know what they were thinking or even going through themselves.  Life is a journey, many things won’t make sense until years after the events happen.

You might see emptiness now, but God wants to fill your life with good things.

You might feel hopeless or helpless about your child’s problems, but wait on God, He is always working “Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God’s story never ends with ‘ashes.'”  He is not done with your child, or with the beauty He can accomplish through a horrible situation.  There is always reason to hope.  God, even when all circumstances point to the thought that our faith is in vain, will give us a life of abundance – of patience when we’re at our witt’s end, of love when we feel hatred, of joy when we should feel bitterness, of peace when the world would think we should feel distraught.

God’s love keeps me going – He has never failed me – He constantly, even in the midst of trials and horror, has given me life – and not just “life” but life in abundance!  Beauty from my world of ashes.

“He sent Me (Jesus)… to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, festive oil instead of tears and sadness.” 

Isaiah 61:1-3

13 thoughts on “It’s Unfair

  1. Pingback: It's Unfair | Christians Anonymous

  2. Thank you for an insightful post. I didn’t know that I needed your message this morning until I read it. I’m 3 years out of bankruptcy after losing a great career in the 2008 downturn. And my “child”, now 29, still has health problems that make it necessary for her to live with us. Thanks for reminding me that God isn’t done yet. What first drew me to read it is the opening comment about evidence. I recently read a great book with an array of evidence to believe: The Exodus Case by Dr. Lennart Moller. I stumbled onto it on Amazon. I recently did a 7 part review of it and I’m teaching a class on it at church. I hope you’ll give the book a look. It’s been a great tool for witnessing. Again, thank ou for your post!! I’ll look forward to more!

  3. But I have given into bitterness, depression, helplessness and hopelessness no matter how much I have tried to feel hopeful. God died from me when I faced an abusive material arts master, became disillusioned from the bible’s OT, found Jesus’s NT teachings too good to be true when studying the bible in high school and college, since I lost faith through the horrible abuse from my ex martial arts master and being marginalized and bullied at a Christian high school.

  4. I’m so sorry Eolyus. I’ve known people who have been through abuse, I think that is the hardest of things to forgive.

    I also went to a Christian school… was quite an ugly duckling and had “outcast” friends. I don’t know what it is about Christian schools but they are much more difficult than public. My world changed when I went to public high school.

  5. It was some physical abuse (him hitting me full force with a foam sword during a weapon sparring match until I was exhausted), but mostly emotional abuse (he was intimidating, demanded people call him “sir” all the time, was sadistic and loved to see people go through emotional pain by allowing another instructor’s emotional abuse while smirking and sneering) and was sometimes verbally abusive (called me a mediocre martial artist once and a chicken once, said that the students’ martial arts skills was kaka, which is Spanish for crap) He yelled at his then toddler daughter, hit her in front of the class in anger and told her to call him sir. Heck, even his then wife called him sir.

  6. From my perspective saying God allows bad things to happen to us seems wrong. God gave mankind free will and that has lead to sin and bad thing happening to us. Also, I have never said “why me?” when bad thing happen, but why not me? Am I better than anyone else in the world that I deserve no suffering in my life?

    Thanks for the post. God never leaves us alone.

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